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Left to wonder why

princezjkprincezjk member
in Late Term and Child Loss
I finally had a follow up appt with my doctor yesterday and there wasn't a whole lot of news. Basically we were told that the placenta had several infarctions which is probably what caused our Izzie to die. Though none of the test are indicating any issues that would have caused this. So, no clear answers as to why my baby died. Nothing I can do differently for an future pregnancies. I feel so guilty and blame myself for all of this. I just really hate not having more concrete answers so I can do something to prevent this from happening again. The doctor basically called it an anomaly.  So I am I just left wondering why this anomaly had to happen at all. To top it all off, I received a bill from labcorp today addressed to "baby girl" for chromosomal testing. Really?  The bill needs to be addressed to my baby girl?  I feel bad for whoever answers the phone when I call, because I am likely to unleash all of my anger on them. 
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Re: Left to wonder why

  • CaroleeCarolee member

    We didn't get answers either, and I have also felt what you are feeling.  I'm sorry about the bill, too.  If only those places could be more sensitive instead of just caring about getting their money.  Hugs! 

    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
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    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • JessicaG220JessicaG220 member
    I'm so sorry about your apointment. It's like we all want answers and for the doctor to give some magical explanation. I hate that this happened to us. But I'm glad that you're making the first steps to healing and getting through each day. The cord was wrapped around Ava's neck, and that's the only explanation that we were given. And it's not even conclusive. It just makes me wish I would have done something differently. But deep down I know it wouldn't have mattered.

    Hang in there. I'm almost at the 2 month mark and I've cried a little less as the days have gone by. Hugs!!

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  • soon2bmrsdanielsoon2bmrsdaniel member

    First of all, I am SO sorry about your loss. I know how hard it is to not have any concrete answers. I still don't have any answers. I've come up with a few on my own but since everything happened so quickly, there is nothing they can tell me other than "it wasn't anything I did". My therapist said to go with whatever makes me feel better about the loss.

     

    I would definitely unleash some anger on labcorp if they call. That is absolutely horrible!!! 


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  • Dixon813Dixon813 member

    The bill sucks - I'm so sorry!

    Our insurance just got billed for "Newborn Dixon" yet didn't clarify which baby (we had triplets...) so we had to add all three babies to our insurance to make sure all of the hospital/NICU bills are covered, just to take them off again...it sucks...

     One day at a time...one day at a time...

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