DC says MS is behind developmentally and we need a PT

JRMommy

My son had his evaluation at DC in October.  For gross motor skills, they said he has showed no signs of doing 6 items (out of 10).

He only goes 2 days a week and often we only bring him in 1 day a week due to our schedules.  When I picked him up the other day I got a chance to speak to one of the ladies.  She was quite concerned with his slow development.

She said they consistently work on tummy time, but he still doesn't crawl.  I guess I got kind of pissy in my reply when I told her - listen, he's a year old, it's not going to happen.  MH never crawled, but I bet if I asked him to crawl today he could.  I don't see any point in working on that.

Then she said he doesn't pull up.  I said he does at home and has been for months.  He does need something to grip his hand on (like the crib railing) but he does do it.

She said he only sits and doesn't walk with assistance.  I said - are you serious?  I can't get him to sit at home.  I have to physically push his waist for it to bend to get him to sit.  All he does at home is stand to play and walk with assistance.  And he walks really well - on flat feet and not like a drunk person.  Finally, I asked her if James is stupid?  She said no, but he should see a physical therapist.

When I dropped MS off this morning, she was the only one available (the other 2 ladies were tending to other babies).  James was screaming bloody murder and she wouldn't take him.  He needs to be held and distracted when dropped off.  That's the way it's been for the last 7 months.  She went and got him some toys, but still wouldn?t hold him.  I was nearly in tears watching him.  I felt like he was totally being neglected.  She told me he?d be fine and to leave.  I waited until he looked away from me and then I left.

I feel like she is treating James differently now b/c of our disagreement the other day.  Now I want to pull him form that center. 

I guess I just needed to vent.  But I?m also wondering if anyone else?s child has seen a PT for slow development.

TIA

shouldbeworkin

I think you need to talk to the director.  yeah, maybe he hasn't hit milestones (crawling, btw is not a milestone) when he was supposed to.  But, if he's ahead in other things and your Ped is not concerned, then I don't see why they should pursue it any further.  They all develop at their own rates and it sounds like he's doing just fine to me.  Also, if you say he's doing things at home, then they need to trust you on that.  I don't think your DC needs to go to PT from what you've said.  It just sounds like he's not going to crawl, or if he does, it will be for a very brief time before he walks.  GL!

Pesky

ITA -- I would talk with the director.  Quite frankly, if your pedi has no concerns at this time and despite reasonable consideration of her concerns, neither do you or your DH, she should STFU and respect your decision as parents.

suh5969

DD is about his age (BD is 11/20) and is in about the same boat.  She doesn't crawl, just scoots on her butt.  She doesn't pull up at daycare and will do it at home on my hands (the couch has nothing for her to grab).  Many babies who don't crawl have trouble pulling up because generally babies pull up from a crawling position on their knees not from their backside.  I do think DD is behind and will be checking with pedi. to find out what I need to do.  Daycare didn't say anything and I keep working with her.  DH thinks I am alarmist. 

 BTW she is ahead on other things, words, fine motor skills (throws a ball, puts balls into containers, takes out, claps etc.).

Sigh.  I don't know if this helps.

 Let us know what happens.

livinitup

I'm a little confused.  Are you two disagreeing with his skills?  She seemed to say he did not do many thing that you said he does.  I know child care workers find these conversations difficult .. but I got the impression you were disagreeing and she still said the child needed to be seen by a PT.  If you reported seeing all these skills, why did she still say that?

I think you need to have a frank conversation about what everybody is observing.  She has raised some conserns ... that is a good thing .. but it does not end with what she has seen ... it end with all of his care takers being on the same page - and you are the leader of that.

I think a follow-up with someone in authority is reasonable.  One of her staff have brought conserns and a recommendation for PT to your attention.  You appreciate that.  But you also see some of the skills that she reported not seeing. So you'd like everyone to get on the same page ... what can he do ... of course, talk with his pedi and get advice ... and develop a plan for next steps.  Could you all talk again?  Can the director coordinate that?

.... becuase now it just seems like there are sore feelings.  It has escaled into feeling like he is being neglected.  For your peace of mind and for his sake you need to get on the same page again.  And I think a few conversations will do it. 

momofolivia

Is she treating him differently from before your conversation?  Or has she always held him during the drop off transition.  That would irritate me.  Agree with pp that you need to bring a director into the mix.  It doesn't sound like he is there long enough, but maybe he isn't happy there, or they don't engage him enough and that is why he "just sits there".  I don't know. 

mrsnewlywed2005

i think it's hard to hear, but from daycare's perspective, they have an obligation to inform u of their observations.  what u do w/ that info is your choice. 

sometimes, dd's teachers don't immediately hold dd when she's crying and it breaks my heart.  you should bring this up w/ the director, but i don't think u should pull him from the center bc of this incident
 

just1day

You're (and anyone) are entitled to an evaluation of your son by your local Early Intervention Program.  They will come to your house and the evaluation will be covered by your insurance.  Then you can show the results to the daycare and if he needs follow-up services, the Early Intervention Program can do that at your house or at daycare. 

flyer23

I don't know... just from your post, it sounds like you may have taken things way too personally, and that could be what she's reacting to. Obviously, I wasn't there and didn't hear your tone of voice, but I'm just getting that from this line:

Finally, I asked her if James is stupid?

Whether she was right or wrong, she most certainly wasn't calling your son stupid. She was just recommending looking into early intervention. Many kids get it and it helps them catch up in the areas they were behind and they go on to do great.

I don't have any personal experience, but one of my friends did see early intervention for her son, because he was behind in language development. They figured out that it was because my friend always talks to him in baby-talk. (I mean like the high pitched "Dee yee wann eeeeeeeeeat?" for "Do you want to eat?") So she stopped doing that and he talks normally now. I've also seen a lot of other Nesties whose kids are in PT and they say it's wonderful and has helped a lot. In some cases, they've been alerted to delays in other areas (other than the primary one that sent them to PT in the first place) and have been able to work on those as well.

If I were in your shoes, I'd apologize to the DC worker for being so defensive, and take James for an evaluation. That should patch up your relationship with the DC worker. If he's right on track like you think he is, the evaluation will confirm that. If he's not on track, you'll be able to address it before it's too late. Everyone wins