Really Struggling

Cubskers

Sorry for the formatting...I'm bumping on my mobile.

I've been back to work for 2 months now and am still struggling. We have a great routine, daycare is going great, but I'm having a hard time serving 2 different, very demanding, masters. My job is one that is unpredictable and it's totally against my nature to close up shop at 5 with things undone. Meanwhile, I'd also rather be spending time with my sweet baby girl than doing a job I just tolerate. When did things seem to even out for you? I don't want to make any hasty decisions and I want to work in some capacity, just not sure if this is the right fit right now. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

snicksnack

It is what it is and once I accepted that it got better. For work I often work through lunch, still there nine hours so putting in extra hours, I also block my calandar from four to five that way I can get work done without meetings unless it is an important meeting I also work after they go to bed sometimes. Things get better as they get older. My three-year old in the summer goes to bed at nine so I have lots of time with her in the evening.  I think being a working mom makes me more organized and better at using my time for value-added tasks because I have to be to make everything work.

shannm

I would say hang in there a bit more.  Your LO is tiny.  You are exhausted.  

I also find it really hard to turn off work while at home.  I find time to catch up when I need to and answer emails as soon as i get them.  If I don't, I have a lot of fruitless anxiety and I become less patient with the kids.  

Also what I find is super important is to actually schedule a day on the weekend where everything I do and think about is domestic/mom related.  Since doing this, I have had MUCH better weekends.  It is a learned behavior though and it has taken me years to get better at it.

 

good luck! 

jkelly41

My kids are a bit older, but honestly, changing jobs just a month ago was my savior. I  traveled a lot for my old job and it was a demanding role.  My stress levels and guilt were high.  I was lucky to find a job now that is great pay, good work, family friendly, and low stress.  It's so good, we're talking about having another baby!  Don't let a bum job make your life miserable!

Cubskers

Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement. I really like the company I work for and they've showed great commitment to me to allow me to work 4 days a week instead of 5. That's helping, but still just can't help but feel the guilt. I'm trying to decide of a job I love would be worth the sacrifice. I just hate to go to the unknown! Thanks for at least reassuring me that it does get better!

dglvrk2

I completely agree with OPs that it gets better.  For DD, 6-11 months was the most difficult time to have her in DC and both DH and I working full time.  Her rutines always seemed to be changing.  Think weaning from BFing, going from 3 to 2 to 1 nap per day, and teething.  Now that she's older, DC, evenings and weekends are not only easier, they're usually more fun.

That being said, it sounds like you only like your job.  I'd keep my resume updated and my eye out for something better.  Meanwhile, just give your situation time.  Also, one PP said she blocks off 4-5 pm for independent work time.  I love this idea!  I usually work through lunch too.  However, I give myself at least 15 minutes for me.  I check my personal email, shop online, talk to a coworker about non-work stuff, or go to The Bump.  It's recharging. 

Karla CS

I've only been back to work for a couple weeks, and I keep wondering the same thing.. The good is that my job is VERY flexible, they don't mind that I've been coming in at 6:30 so that I can leave by 3:30 and get some time in with the little one before she has to go to bed, they're not making me travel right now, and the commute is great. The bad? The job. I really dislike this job. Not a little. A lot. The person that I was closest to and who happened to be my direct manager resigned on my first day back, the organization is going through a weird transitional phase, and I know I'm underpaid. But I'm not sure if the risk of going somewhere new is worth giving up the flexibility and the commute (if it increases, that's more time away from the kiddo.)