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Is OAD board mainly for OAD by choice?

IBackBevoIBackBevo member
in Success after IF

Anyone on here ever lurk on the OAD (one and done) board?  I decided to go over there because I was thinking maybe there might be some "OAD" not by choice...only I'm thinking not so much.  I am I correct in my assumption.  First post I came clicked into was a person who was devastated at a surprise BFP.  I'm not trying to slam on her or anything because everyone has a different view of what they want their life/family to look like. I was just thinking the board was one thing and it turned out to be something else. 

Edit: I did find a post further down that was OAD not by choice...so that is good to know. :)

IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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Re: Is OAD board mainly for OAD by choice?

  • jesselayne8jesselayne8 member
    From what I can tell there are many different reasons for being OAD and it often is not IF. Some are financial, some medical and others for lifestyle reasons. Whatever the reason, a surprise BFP can be shocking/devastating for those who imagined/ planned for one child only especially at first.
    I know its hard to read about.


    TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!!  Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) 
    #1 born December 2011
    TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
    #2 born May 2013
    TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
    #3 born August 2015 
    #4!!!!!!! due June 2017 
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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member

    imagejesselayne8:
    From what I can tell there are many different reasons for being OAD and it often is not IF. Some are financial, some medical and others for lifestyle reasons. Whatever the reason, a surprise BFP can be shocking/devastating for those who imagined/ planned for one child only especially at first. I know its hard to read about.

    I'm not trying to bash on her. I just thought there would be more on the board about OAD not by choice and dealing with that.  It seems like most of the topics are clearly aimed at OAD by choice.  I did find one good thread, though, dealing with this topic and one poster put it really well with respect to focusing on her blessings.  

    I'm thinking that perhaps "OAD not-by-choice" is a better topic for this board or secondary infertility...   

    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • OceanBreeze1OceanBreeze1 member
    Ugh, that's so irritating! I mean, I can understand how an unplanned pregnancy can throw a wrench into things but gah, that is my ultimate dream!

    Not that I'd ever want anyone to go through IF, but it's hard to see when people don't realize how lucky they are...although I'm sure I'm that way about other things like functioning kidneys, etc.

    Sorry it wasn't what you expected!
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  • Mrs.AmyDylanMrs.AmyDylan member

    I have lurked over there because we have no frosties, so other than a surprise, we will be doing a full cycle to get a second. 

    I had always imagined having 3 kids, but IF changed the game. While the money is a factor, what concerns me more is the bad place I was in mentally while I was cycling. It was a lousy cycle and I was almost cancelled. I'm so blessed that we weren't and I have my wonderful little J. I've been feeling myself out on if I could do it again.  

    I don't get that vibe from the board. It seems a bit more by choice (overall).  

    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
    ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
    Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!! 
    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    imageMrs.AmyDylan:

    I don't get that vibe from the board. It seems a bit more by choice (overall).  

    Yeah, that is definitely the vibe I got.  I saw one post where the "not by choice" issue came up.  This is an issue I don't feel comfortable posting about on IF because most (if not all) of those ladies don't even have one.  I was looking for the appropriate place to discuss when/how/if to make the decision to be "one and done" not because you want to have an only child but because it just doesn't seem to be in the cards due to either IF or pregnancy complications/medical reasons or both.  I would think that being at peace with OAD is very different when it is a decision based on lifestyle or even monetary reasons.

    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
    image
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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member

    imageOceanBreeze1:
    Not that I'd ever want anyone to go through IF, but it's hard to see when people don't realize how lucky they are...although I'm sure I'm that way about other things like functioning kidneys, etc. Sorry it wasn't what you expected!

    This made me LOL.  That is very true.  What is the saying? If we all could throw our problems into a bucket, we would probably take our own problems right back out again. 

    I remember watching some webinar by Dr. Check (well known RE who specializes in treating DOR/POF patients) and he was discussing a woman who was cycling and then diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease. All of the sudden, IF didn't seem like such a big deal when she was confronted with dealing with not only death, but losing all control of her muscles.

    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • firewife9278firewife9278 member

    I post there from time to time. We're kind of by choice in that we chose to not spend any more money on IF treatments to go for #2 given our ages and how long it took the first time.

    We wanted 2-3 kids at the beginning. Now we feel very blessed with one.

    I do think there are a lot of people on that board that truly only EVER wanted one, you know?

     
    A+S | Met 8/24/06 | Married 9/27/08
    Started TTC 12/2008 | dx PCOS 5/2009
    6 failed clomid/femara/TI cycles, 1 failed clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycle
    Successful Cycle: 5/12/11 - 1000mg Metformin + 100mg Clomid(late response) + TI = BFP

    2/13/12 - We proudly welcomed our daughter, Hadley Teresa!
    Lots of Luck to all of 3T/IF

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