BM #2 and court tomorrow.. *LONG*

Pamelacake

I haven't posted about BM #2 in a while and if I have I'm sorry. If I posted every time something happened and I wanted to, I would fill up this board!

DH goes to court tomorrow with BM #2. I had him call his attorney to see if he needed to go or just needed to get another court date for the supervised visitation for BM. The atty said that They would just be with the prosecutor and their atty will be there for DH so there really is no need for him to be there. I asked DH to call about it last week but.. it was put off. ah well. The atty is going to submit to the judge for a court date specifically for visitation modification so now we get to wait for that, hopefully not too long b/c SD's don't need to be with her unsupervised at all. with all that has gone on since her visitation started and the way she was with them when they were here..She didn't want them at all.

In the last phone call between DH and BM she wasn't asked anything about it but started going on about how She knew she didn't help with the kids b/c she was always to F'ed up to and how she was always in bed and never took care of SD's. BM also said that DH would not be getting anything out of going to court for CS as she didn't make enough but BM would start giving DH money every week as she was dancing and making about $200.00 an hour, under the table. We know she was just saying this to kiss his butt bc she thinks he can make the court date go away. This was May 30th and of course he hasn't seen a dime.  

BM passed up her weekend again (thankfully) but she kept calling. I texted that she already cancelled, there is no need to keep calling, I understand if you are sick have a nice weekend and I'll see you in court on Tuesday if you don't decide to fake another seizure. (I'll admit the seizure part was a bit rude but that's how she got out of court last time bc she thought she was going to jail)

I now know that text let her know they had court on Tuesday because she keeps calling to ask what time is court and what court is it b/c she lost her court papers. We have just been ignoring and not responding as the atty advised. Ine ach phone call she adds things in to tick DH off just wanting a response but I'm so proud of him for not budging. She can easily call the court house to find out when she is to be there. I wanted to text her the time of court but the atty said not to worry about it.

 

The CPS case is supposed to be closed but still no word from the CPS officer other than the letter DH got over the weekend that she was supposed to leave when she came to interview.

BM has seen SD's for a grand total of 5 times since November.

December: 1 overnight  and then 8 1/2 hours on Christmas day

 April 4th 3 1/2 hours

Sat April 27th from 10am to Sun at 4:30pm (this was when they were taken to the hospital upon return)

May 24th: 5yo SD for about 4 hours and 6yo SD overnight.

5yo SD called and was crying to come home, BM didn't have an issue with this, the next day BM was blowing up the phone but didn't wish to speak with me ETA: BM didn't want me to "watch" SD's this day because she wants everyone to think I'm drunk all of the time (I don' t even drink) and then later is like "I don't see why their stepmother can't watch them" and DH was at work, first she was saying 6yo SD wanted to talk to DH, then it was BM had to bring her back bc SD was sick and BM didn't know what to do. SD wasn't sick at all. She spilled it within 5 minutes of being home .. I didn't ask SD .. I could see right through it though. She told me she wasn't sick so I asked SD why she said she was and she said BM told me I was! This was also the same evening that DH called BM shortly after SD was dropped off and BM thought she denied the call but instead answered it, We listened to their conversation for over 10 minutes, until they reached their destination.. the bar! I felt a little bad for listening in but once I was typing it out from my recorder was very glad we did... BM's SO stated he wants to bash DH's skull in, BM wanted to talk about me more than anything. But at one point did clearly state "I am going to just do a sh!t ton of lying when we go to court, that would be best" There were all kinds of things in this recording.

One of 6YO SD's counselors will be here in a couple of days for a house visit, she is very close with SD's other 2 counselors. I know all 3 counselors would go to bat for SD's willingly in the court room when and if they are needed and I'm sure they will be.

Sorry this is so long.. I was just hoping the atty would be able to go and ask for that tomorrow.. but as I though it has to be a separate court date. I had DH call I told DH that if the atty went and wasn't needed it was just wasting atty's time and our money.

 

 

 

 

+just+j+

Pamelacake:

 Ine ach phone call she adds things in to tick DH off just wanting a response but I'm so proud of him for not budging.

I realize she is no prize, but even so, I suggest you check yourself before you criticize her. The fake seizure comment was unnecessary, and no better than her behavior.  Just because you have your act together and she doesn't, doesn't make it okay for you to make digs at her. Even if it is true. You are just fueling the fire.

Pamelacake

+just+j+:

Pamelacake:

 Ine ach phone call she adds things in to tick DH off just wanting a response but I'm so proud of him for not budging.

I realize she is no prize, but even so, I suggest you check yourself before you criticize her. The fake seizure comment was unnecessary, and no better than her behavior.  Just because you have your act together and she doesn't, doesn't make it okay for you to make digs at her. Even if it is true. You are just fueling the fire.

I understand this and I did feel bad for sending it. We respond to maybe one out of 20 of her phone calls b/c she just wants to fight. My response was much better than what DH's would have been. I didn't feel bad for sending that at first b/c of how BM does SD's but it's not like I was laughing about it.

4luvof2boys

I agree that you have to keep it classy and avoid rude comments even when you are extremely justified.  Just vent here.  Have you asked your attorney how long in your state it is required for her to have no contact before you can terminate her parental rights for abandonment?  I don't blame you for not wanting your SKs anywhere near this woman. 

Pamelacake

4luvof2boys:

I agree that you have to keep it classy and avoid rude comments even when you are extremely justified.  Just vent here.  Have you asked your attorney how long in your state it is required for her to have no contact before you can terminate her parental rights for abandonment?  I don't blame you for not wanting your SKs anywhere near this woman. 

I agree about the rude comment. I document everything and I don't leave things like this out even though it was uncalled for. The attorney ultimately wants me to adopt but said it's too soon. even if BM is still trying to see SD's every once in a while, they can take her rights as long as someone is willing to adopt.

My husband would have been contempt months ago.. DH wasn't willing to send them at all, ever. I told him he had to once he got his C/O.

 

I usually don't make rude remarks to BM. BM will call multiple times in a row just to fight about something that doesn't have anything to do with SD's, mostly about things in the past. BM will leave a voicemail each time. I usually will get tired of it and send her a polite text to please stop calling esp since she hasn't even asked about her children. That is usually what my texts to her consist of. That is usually the lowest I go but it's true. I also tell BM it's a bit ridiculous.

+just+j+

Why is she calling you?  I'd stop replying and answering her calls all together and make my husband handle his mess with his ex. 

Support him, back him, offer him advice and sympathy, but this is something he should be primarily dealing with.  

Yet again, another example for bunnyfungo (I think that's who asked the question) on why you should not insert yourself because you think it might be easier for you to just handle it.

Pamelacake

We haven't been responding at all besides on the rare occasion it is something about SD's. That text was sent to get her to simply stop calling. I get that the end of it was wrong. I was already feeling bad for it.

We usually don't respond at all as I said before.

I did step back and not respond at all for a while. I did send her pics of 6yo SD's awards and things like that when she would get them from school, and that was the extent of my involvement with BM. I had DH stop responding because there was always very bad name calling towards BM when he did.

DH and BM can actually have a conversation every once in a while now. But for it not to turn into a fight, DH has to tell BM DH and I are having issues. BM acts like that's ok and she can talk to him then.

I have only had one conversation with BM. She was telling me that she wanted to be my friend and I know better, she thought I was going to give her info about a CPS case behind DH's back. I didn't tell her that I knew she was lying or anything, I just told her that's what would be best for SD's to at least get along.

That never happened. That's why I make sure to not be outside when BM is supposed to come. I did feel sorry for BM for months but after what she did to SD's for months, I honestly had to step back or I would have exploded on her.

BM calls the same phone that DH and I share. DH has it when he works most of the time unless I need it for something. I don't ever text BM without DH's knowledge of it. DH hates texting because the phone is a touch screen and he isn't used to it. He wouldn't even try it for months after I gave it to him. lol

 

Pamelacake

DH was getting ready for court this morning and got a phone call that it was cancelled due to the prosecuting attorney calling in sick. So.. No court today