Turn world upside down?

Sparks in training! · June 2013

Morning all,

5 yrs ago we left So. Cal to So. Fl for DH's job. Thankfully his company had a job for me waiting in. A year into moving, DH's job was sold. And THANKFULLY picked up another one without skipping a beat.

DH NEVER jelled with living here and is constantly saying that he would be happy if we were back home in California.

I must admit, Cal is home, but we have made an amazing life here. Homeowners, Solid jobs, horses etc.

DH has been thrown a job opportunity in So. Cal (the Valley). Pay is a little more than now, HOWEVER I would not have a job and losing the horses to him is not a big deal. More or less the house and cost of moving. And actually once you factor in taxes and how demanding the new job would be, he would never be home and the pay ends up being what he makes now.

Not sure how to process everything. I feel like DH is thinking about his own wants vs the family. I feel like he is always in love with the grass on the other side and never living in the now.

cchill01 · June 2013

This is really tough, because no matter what, one of you is going to be unhappy. Can you promise him that you won't get any more horses and then retire in So. Cal?

Mustardseed2007 · June 2013

I agree this is tough. It's hard to know what to say b/c he obviously really wants to go back "home" and you obviously have found a new "home".

I will say I don't think it's clear that he's choosing himself over his family just from what you wrote in your post. I mean...I haven't heard you mention anything that means you and your family need to be in Florida other than the fact that you really like your life there (which is very important). But if you were like him, and you missed your life in so. cal too, this wouldn't even be a discussion b/c there isn't anything that makes it imperative that you stay in Florida, except maybe that you would have to look for a job, which may or may not be very hard.

Not to say that this isn't a hard decision or situation. It clearly is and it seems to me that it's something you and your H have to work out b/c there isn't an obvious right or wrong here.

jf198400 · June 2013

Are there reasons why he would prefer Cal, such as family? I could understand wanting your children to grow up near grandparents, cousins, etc. I think you and DH need to sit down and discuss pros and cons to both situations. If he wants to live in Cal long-term, its probably better to move back while your kids are little, rather than when they get older and are settled with their friends, schools, activities.