Ladies what are your experiences and feelings about this. I realize we all don't have a choice and sometimes they are away, training or deployed. But, how about when they are home and cannot make the appointments due to work commitments? We had a miscarriage last time and so I am feeling a little sad that he wont be there to see his baby's heartbeat. I know the Military comes first but it really sucks sometimes when they are home and still can't be around.
Re: Husband missing Dr. Appointments
MH rarely comes to appointments. He came to the first one to meet the midwife and make sure that we both liked her before we committed, but other than that he's usually at work. I'm a SAHM, so it's easiest for me to have appointments in the middle of the day, which just doesn't work for him. That's life.
I'm sure there's added anxiety when you're PGAL, and I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Do you have a good friend who can go with you and hold your hand?
We had our 3D ultrasound 2 weeks ago and my husband was scheduled to fly up until the day before. I don't mind going to appointments alone because they are usually quick and easy, but I feel guilty that my husband has to miss so much. Women already feel closer to baby because we get to experience everything. If only the military knew how much our husbands benefit from being involved!
My H probably went to about half of my appointments, maybe a little more. But when scheduling appointments I would ask for the latest one they had available. If he made it home in time to go, great, if not then no big deal. He made sure to get home in time for u/s appointments.
We also had a doppler at home, so whenever he felt bad about missing appts I would find the heartbeat for him with that. For most appts that was really the only thing that would matter to him anyways.
Pipsqueak born 6/9/14
MH came to 2 maybe 3 appointments the entire pregnancy. He only made it to one regular appointment to see the heartbeat because we were pcs-ing in a few weeks so he didn't have much to do. He made the anatomy scan because our hospital has appointments for those until 830 at night to make an effort for spouses to be there.
I was sad, but I think most of that was some friends of ours who were expecting around the same time, the husband made EVERY appointment so it kind of annoyed me that they had the same job, but MH couldn't make it and her husband could. Eventually, I stopped caring since the appointments were mostly 20 maybe 30 minutes long and he wasn't missing a whole lot.
Honestly, that's the only couple I know where the husband was able to make a majority of the appointments, most people it's pretty much the same as MH.
I know this isn't the norm. I think I would be ok with him not making every appointment. They are often uneventful. I would, however, be quite disappointed if he couldn't make a single one let alone the anatomy scan. But at the end of the day, life does move on.
DH missed all of my appointments with my first pregnancy because of Basic/AIT. We planned the second child so he'd be here and be able to come to appointments. That didn't exactly work out. Despite being here, he still missed all of my appointments except for the ones that had blood work (I insisted on him being there because I am notorious for passing out and/or throwing up and didn't trust myself to get myself and my toddler home ok). He was supposed to come to my anatomy scan, but missed it because of his command. One person told him he could go, another told him they had a test. He of course went to work because he didn't want to miss the test... turns out the test was not for his rank. Stuff happens and over the years I have learned that nothing is for sure until it actually happens.
This is part of the Military life and while it sucks it's something a lot of wives/so's have to go through. We lived far from family so I didn't have anyone to lean on. When I had an appt. I would just call my DH right after and tell him in detail what happened. Because of my high risk I had a lot more u/s's so I would also scan the photos and email them to him.
This. I work with a lot of men who have kids and none of them were able to take off every single appointment their wives had, it is just to hard to leave in the middle of the day for a regular appointment regardless of your profession. My H came to our A/S and I think one or two other appointments that happened to fall on dates he was on leave or around the time we PCSd. Regardless of his job I wouldn't really expect him to take off time to come to a basic appointment, it was hard enough for me to schedule the appointments into my own work schedule without having to take into consideration his.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c
Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
Baby #8. BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number
4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!
My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!
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