Had one of those annoyingly long pick-ups today...

Ginlyn0

We went to get SKs and it turned into a huge wait in the car for me and DS. First, BM after multiple discussions was still confused and thought we were only picking up SD today, not the boys too (it's not our regular weekend) but we are taking part of our summer. So the boys had to go quickly pack their bag.

Then DH brings up the insurance money she owes us and swore she was going to pay twice now already and she somehow thinks she deserves to keep the $171 extra we are paying her for insurance that she dropped them from even though now they are on MY insurance even though she is CO'ed to carry them and is not. So DH had to explain that we are DOUBLE paying for insurance when we are carrying them and paying her for coverage she is CO'ed to have but doesn't even have and that when we go back to court, he could make her pay back to November (when she dropped coverage) but he is only asking that she do the right thing now and start paying us back since we are covering them for her. She said they are tight on money now but swears to pay. He threatened go back for the whole amount if she didn't. In the meantime, somehow they got on the topic of how her new Tahoe had to be returned to the dealer (where she just started working) because they re-ran financing numbers and it was going to be an extra $200 a month. Sorry BM, you and your DH have dug your own financial hole. Moving into a place with double the rent, buying a boat, a horse + stabling costs. That doesn't mean you get to steal our money for insurance that you should be providing for the kids.

Then they discussed some issues with filing an RX for oldest SS because he is on a high dosage of ADHD meds and had to have a letter from the doc for the insurance to cover it because it exceeds the standard dose. And she brought up that she went to a parent meeting for youngest SS. Apparently, he failed all his standardized tests so they did testing on him at school and have figured out he is dyslexic and most likely has ADHD. Yep, BM didn't tell DH all this until after the fact. Anyway, she is supposed to get us copies of the paperwork and then she is going to schedule with his pedi.

At some point in the middle of all this, the kids come get in the car with me. Eventually BM and DH walk to the car and BM starts explaining the insurance problems to me and asking about how the deductible works with RXs. So I'm explaining that and the boys are ramping DS up. BM is like "(youngest SS) what are you doing?" he was making DS make faces as in using his hands on DS's face squishing it, ect. DS was laughing hysterically. So DH says how youngest SS does so well with DS and I said "yeah, they are like this" and then crossed my fingers. About this time the boys decide to start telling DS to say "Bye Mom" to BM. So DS keeps repeating it over and over again laughing because the kids are all laughing. DH, BM and I  all ignored it at that time (but I'm sure BM was laughing inside). She realized in all the RX talk that she forgot to put oldest SS's RX in the bag and goes in to get it. DH looks at the boys and tell them "not funny, that isn't his mom and you guys know it." BM comes back out hands me the bottle and DS is still saying "bye mom."

It was just sort of annoying to know that BM is probably going to tell everyone about this because she thinks it's funny.

Pamelacake

Oh I feel for you!

 I wouldn't worry too much about what BM has to say about DS saying that.. he's too young to know any better and it would just be really petty on her part.

That would be extremely annoying to me as well though. I had something like that happen to me years ago. X would get mad at DS for calling me mommy and even redirect him at times! I used to fume inside but I held it together in front of DS.  

twister22

Gah, I would be so annoyed. I know it's not a big deal, but it would really get under my skin! I'm sorry for the annoy and long pick up. I think the boys should have consequences for intentionally being bratty.

MrsHetzel

gin9874:

BM comes back out hands me the bottle and DS is still saying "bye mom."

This would infuriate me too. I don't plan on ever having my son within the vicinity of my SD's BM if I can avoid it until he is old enough to understand she plays ZERO parenting role in his life, just unfortunately plays a small parenting role in his sisters life only.

Ginlyn0

Eh, it was annoying but my son is around BM alot because we are very active in the kids activities that fall on her time and I wouldn't trade that for an innocent mistake. We figured out last night that DS thinks that is her name because he knows me as mommy and he knows SKs live with their Mom. DH asked him who his mom was and he said I don't know. DH pointed at me and said she is and he said no that's mommy lol. We just taught him her name which is funny because a few months ago I posted thinking it was strange that my Ex's DD who was 3 or 4 at the time knew my name and I barely see her but that DS just knew BM as SK's mom. Guess that could have been one reason she knew Lol. Overall, we were more annoyed about DH not being called over the 504 meeting the school had to discuss youngest SS's issues that popped up. BM obviously didn't tell DH before because she didn't want him there. I would bet SF was there in his place. She has sent SF before alone for meetings on older SS and DH only found out when he called to talk to SS's teacher to find out ways to help and was told that it was discussed at a parent meeting SF only attended. Of course after that, DH specifically told her to inform him of any meetings obviously she has not.

Pamelacake

That meeting at the school thing would infuriate me! The school always calls me about any issues with SK's bc they know DH works a lot and I so pass the messages onto him even though I usually had it handled if it were late homework or something like that, but never kept him out of the loop.

They don't call BM bc they know she didn't care.. BM was with DH's oldest BK's for about 3 years and would demand them to call her mom but wanted nothing to do with them at the same time.

If it has something to do with BM's kids I do send a text to let her know what is going on.. and nothing. BM wants copies of report cards and everything.. BM only started demanding these things bc I had made copies of all of SD's awards she had gotten from school so far. BM wanted a pic sent to her phone of the report card.. She only demanded that because she kept calling, wanting to fight.. not asking about her children and I sent her a polite message back asking her to please stop calling because BM had called about 15 times that evening to fight with DH and he wasn't feeding into it so it made BM even more mad. I asked her to please stop calling because it was a bit ridiculous that she had called that many times and did not have a single question about her children. I did add at the end that SD was doing great in school and got her report card that weekend.

 

So Sorry. I didn't mean to make that so long or about my situation.. The school thing really gets to me.. bc BM wants me to only babysit SD's but doesn't want to be involved with anything herself.

The school should respect your DH's wishes and contact him about these things too.. he is entitled to that. It doesn't take much to add an address to an outgoing email or an extra phone call.

ambrvan

gin9874:

Eh, it was annoying but my son is around BM alot because we are very active in the kids activities that fall on her time and I wouldn't trade that for an innocent mistake. We figured out last night that DS thinks that is her name because he knows me as mommy and he knows SKs live with their Mom. DH asked him who his mom was and he said I don't know. DH pointed at me and said she is and he said no that's mommy lol. We just taught him her name which is funny because a few months ago I posted thinking it was strange that my Ex's DD who was 3 or 4 at the time knew my name and I barely see her but that DS just knew BM as SK's mom. Guess that could have been one reason she knew Lol.

Overall, we were more annoyed about DH not being called over the 504 meeting the school had to discuss youngest SS's issues that popped up. BM obviously didn't tell DH before because she didn't want him there. I would bet SF was there in his place. She has sent SF before alone for meetings on older SS and DH only found out when he called to talk to SS's teacher to find out ways to help and was told that it was discussed at a parent meeting SF only attended. Of course after that, DH specifically told her to inform him of any meetings obviously she has not.

Oh I hate this! Some teachers are so funny about this stuff. SD's prek teachers were clearly aware of iurbfamily situation and always communicated with DH first, me second, and never BM. Her kindergarden teacher was willing to communicate with DH, but preferred a woman and because she had SD's older sister in kinder years ago before all crap happened, she would still attempt to contact BM about everything, we had to get the principal involved because it was during a restraining order. And this past year, her 1st grade teacher has been wonderful about everything, but she would prefer to contact me over DH. I think it is just because I am a woman. But at least she understands that BM is not in that aspect of the picture.

2chatter

The 504 exclusion is a huge deal.  With a new ADHD dx and the dyslexia, will the ped refer for other services?  One of my sorority sisters coordinated MHMR children's programs for a huge region, and it's a tangled web.  When we were looking to have DD independently evaluated it made my head spin.  Will DH be included from this point forward to ensure 1) that providers are covered by insurance 2) if not that out of pocket costs are mutually agreed upon (they really run the gamut) 3) treatment plans are mutually agreed upon (ie will BM just be looking for an rx and is DH on board with that?).

Scary.  I am so sorry that was the pickup, what a total beating.