DD won't sleep unless in my bed or in my arms

DynoMight

Here lately DD (almost 5 months) will not sleep when I put her down. All she wants is to nurse and dose.  I've tried no cry and CIO but after 20 minutes I can't stand letting her cry anymore or she wakes up DS or DH at night. I don't know what else to do. She has had a little cold but I'm not sure that's the issue. We have the night time routine of eat cereal, bath, lotion, jammies, read, nurse, the try to sleep. We start dinner around 6:30 and try to get her down by 8:30 but we do the nurse, put her down, cry, pick her up, nurse, etc. until midnight or 1 before I give up and nurse her to sleep in our bed. She has always slept in her own bed, at least until 5 when I would put her in bed with me until 7 when DS would wake up. Any outsider advice would be great. I wonder if I'm missing something or if there's something else I should be trying that I can't see from inside the sleep-deprived bubble.

DublinMama

If she's sick maybe it's just a fluke and she is having a minor regression until she feels better? What exactly did your CIO method look like? Did you just let her alone for that whole time and let her cry, or did you go in at specific intervals? I know you said you picked her up and put her down. Was that what you meant by CIO? Maybe you could put her in her bed, and when she starts to cry, instead of picking her up and putting her down you could just go in, check she's ok, and walk out. I know it's heartbreaking, though. But like PP said, if you truly are nervous this is going to stick, whatever method you use to break it should be consistent.  I'm sorry that it such a struggle right now. Bedtime battles are the worst because they are are the end of the day when you're hoping to wind down and relax after a day in the parenting trenches.

littlebean4

You definitely research a few sleep training methods, decide on one and read up on it.  I agree with everyone in that you need to be consistent.  We decided we're going to follow ferbers method and I found the book to be incredibly helpful.  We're going to be starting it in another month.  I also think your probably confusing her with the constant nursing, she probably isn't hungry and you may be falling into a bad habit of continuously nursing her to sleep.  GL

Runaway22

I don't think when a baby is sick - even if it's just a little cold - is a good time to do any sleep training. She probably needs some extra comfort right now. 

SarahandSam2007

Five months old and CIO?  NO! 

DublinMama

SarahandSam2007:

Five months old and CIO?  NO! 

So, what do you suggest? I'm not pro-CIO or anti-CIO, but she already said she tried it with her LO and couldn't do it, so what was the point of that comment? Besides, there is a range for CIO which can go anywhere from 3-6 months, depending on the readiness of your baby and other physiological factors that may very well be in place by five months. I think instead of being judgmental, a little empathy and maybe some helpful feedback for a sleep deprived mother who is only trying to do right by her baby and get her the sleep she needs is a little more beneficial. 

DynoMight

The point of my post wasn't that I'm sleep training my DD. The point was that neither her nor I are getting any sleep. I had tried all the ways I knew how to get her to lay down and sleep without me holding her or nursing her.

That being said, our Pediatrician recommended that we start sleep training since she has slept through the night, is a healthy weight, and capable of putting herself to sleep. We started sleep training DS at 8 months because that's when we felt most comfortable and it took much longer than the books said. We decided to actually follow the Pedi's advice this time and start sooner.

 

honeydew01

DublinMama:

SarahandSam2007:

Five months old and CIO?  NO! 

So, what do you suggest? I'm not pro-CIO or anti-CIO, but she already said she tried it with her LO and couldn't do it, so what was the point of that comment? Besides, there is a range for CIO which can go anywhere from 3-6 months, depending on the readiness of your baby and other physiological factors that may very well be in place by five months. I think instead of being judgmental, a little empathy and maybe some helpful feedback for a sleep deprived mother who is only trying to do right by her baby and get her the sleep she needs is a little more beneficial. 

Amen! I couldn't have said it better.