Something to fill the hole

Courtney04w

One week ago today, I delivered my little Lucas, at 16 weeks. He had already passed away as my water broke the day before. Life will never be the same. My husband returned to work this week, he needed to get back to his routine. I just feel like I can't be normal again. A piece of me has died. My 3 children are coping well, my sons hate to see mom so sad. My daughter is too young to fully understand. People say I should focus in the 3 of them, and I try. But just because I have 3 living children, does not mean I loved or wanted Lucas any less. Nights are so long.

shandorfml2

I am so sorry for your loss. In time, it will get easier, but it is a difficult road. Lots of love and hugs to you and I hope you can find some comfort and support here

Courtney04w

Thank you. Today has been very difficult to hold back the tears. It's raining all day here, matches my mood. It's so hard to smile.

Williamandshawnna

***SIGGY WARNIN*** 

 

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son Lucas. In time you will find your new normal. We are all changed forever because of our losses. You're right, nights are very long. I wish you peace during this difficult time. HUGS

oliversmom03

I am very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy Lucas. I myself, have three living children, and I know how it can be hard to be strong for them. It's the hardest job I have ever had to do. Take your time, and PM me if you ever want to talk. 

Courtney04w

Thank you for the support. It is such a lonely feeling. Sometimes it is easier to sit alone with my thoughts, easier than trying to hold a conversation or put on an act. My husband has been my rock, giving me the space and support I need to try to deal with this emptiness in my heart. Going to call a therapist today, I think I'm going to need the help.

Noethola

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet Lucas.

It is good to utilize a therapist, as this is a whole new road for so many people (including our very own support system.) We will never be able to forget the children we lost, as they cannot be replaced by any living or future children. By grieving over your loss, it does not mean you love your living children any less.

Someone once told me its like losing a body part like your leg. You still love and appreciate the limbs you still have, but your life will be forever changed because of your loss. Someone would not tell you to just get over it. You have to readjust and relearn your life without your leg. Its true that with time, you will relearn your new normal without your precious little one. But it is a very hard road. You will continue to have times that you cry and you will have times when you smile about the memories you do have of your LO.  

Big hugs!!

shandorfml2

Courtney04w:

Thank you. Today has been very difficult to hold back the tears. It's raining all day here, matches my mood. It's so hard to smile.

That's strange, because when I delivered DD it rained for days as well. Then, for her burial it was a gorgeous sunny day. (((hugs))))

Dixon813

Courtney04w:

Thank you. Today has been very difficult to hold back the tears. It's raining all day here, matches my mood. It's so hard to smile.

 This is how I was yesterday as it was gloomy and rainy.  I was so mad all day yesterday.

 Praying for you...

Heatherhah

i am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby boy Lucas. I went to see a grief counselor a week after we lost our DD and it reallyhelped to work out my sadness with someone who understood. i also joined a loss support group these ladies her me IRL and I love this board because we all get it. You are surrounded by friends even if we never meet we will always be connected in this journey. Welcome hugs to you!!

Heather 

 

TimesInfinity9

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss but I hope you can find some support here. Your other children cannot replace Lucas or make up for his loss but I hope that you can find some comfort in them. I'm learning not to worry about what other people say or expect of me right now and just do what I need to do to get through each day.