An Appology and approaching the year mark.

Williamandshawnna

***SIGGY WARNING***

 

 

 

First, I want to apologize if my signature in previous posts caught anyone off guard. I truly apologize, as I completely forgot I had updated it. I in no way meant to hurt anyone.

 

Second, I am having trouble dealing as I approach the one year mark. Just 20 days away now. I find myself going back to the beginning days and weeks. Not being able to sleep and crying myself to sleep, I get up at random hours just to look at my boys' memory box. To see their picture, hold their blanket and look at the impressions of their tiny little feet. I know the weeks will slowly get harder, and right now I have no plans for the actual day, other than not working.

 Thanks for listening and once again I am VERY sorry if I caught anyone off guard.

-Shawnna

JessicaG220

I am approaching the 2 month mark and I am sad, so I can only imagine how hard the 1 year mark must be.  I can relate to your feelings.  I hate Wednesdays, and the 17th.  I wonder if I will ever feel differently.  It was so hard to go from counting down the days every week until Friday so I could be one week closer to meeting my baby girl.  I so much loved tracking the weeks and the different fruits to compare her to.  June 27 was her EDD, and I have NO IDEA how I'm going to get through that day.  My doctor told us she would probably be born early because of my uterine septum and smaller cavity, so when June 1 came I wanted to crawl in a hole.  I hate that I have to be at work now, and I would more than likely already be on maternity leave if Ava had lived.  The whole thing is unfair.  Stupid dates.  Hang in there.  I hope you find some way to honor your boys and commemorate the short time you had with them.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

***SIGGY WARNING***

 

You'll find that the anticipation leading up to the day will end up being worse than the actual day itself - not that the actual day is going to be spectacular or anything.  We didn't really have anything planned for the actual day other than going to the cemetery and taking the day off of work.  We ended up going to Michaels and buying a glass case to display some of Corbin's things like the outfit we brought him home in and our 3D plaster hand and foot we have.  We also watched the video of all the pictures that we have of him that are set to the music we played at his funeral.  At first we were both bawling and wondering why we were doing this to ourselves but as it played we found ourselves remembering the good and happy times. 

Wishing you peace and love

PS - congrats on the new siggy!

Noethola

Congrats on the rainbow!!

Williamandshawnna

***SIGGY WARNING***

 

Thank you ladies for the kind words and support. For some reason I really thought that I would be fine leading up to June 25th. I don't know why. Every day is almost like the beginning again.