nursery shared w/ SD

sfeebs13

i am a bit torn because i'm having problems with DF when it comes to decorating the nursery because SD will be sharing the room with her when she comes every two weeks, or so. I want her to feel included but at the same time, this is my first baby. I want to dive into all of this as much as i can, but he wants her to be able to decorate the room the way she wants. She's 10. she's into all this monsters high stuff, which is fine, but i dont feel its appropriate for a nursery....

any advice on how to "handle" DF? haha 

Pamelacake

Let her decorate her area of the room? I know it wouldn't be the same as having the full nursery the way you want it.. I would be torn too.

MichelleApple

Hi I'm Michelle and I mostly lurk on this board so just incase people think I'm some sort of creeper. That being sai I think DF has a point of making sure SD has a say in decorating her room even if its half hers. I am expecting my first LO October with DH and luckily SD is just as excited as we are, she is turning 6 a week before my EDD so she's still young enough to enjoy baby/little kid themes and what not. DH and I already have her room set up with a music theme since she plays guitar and piano so were not changing the theme an instead just add softer colors aroun the room for LO. We don't know the sex yet but it'll be cute or either boy or girl. I hope you find some sort of compromise with SD so you both have fun and feel comfortable with the decor. She can always have a headboard with space to add photos so she can put mini posters of her favorite band my 10yr old niece loves one direction :P and pictures of her life. We have something similar so SD can add a more personalized touch to her room and it includes pictures of her mom as well and her friends and cousins.

sfeebs13

MichelleApple:

Hi I'm Michelle and I mostly lurk on this board so just incase people think I'm some sort of creeper. That being sai I think DF has a point of making sure SD has a say in decorating her room even if its half hers. I am expecting my first LO October with DH and luckily SD is just as excited as we are, she is turning 6 a week before my EDD so she's still young enough to enjoy baby/little kid themes and what not. DH and I already have her room set up with a music theme since she plays guitar and piano so were not changing the theme an instead just add softer colors aroun the room for LO. We don't know the sex yet but it'll be cute or either boy or girl. I hope you find some sort of compromise with SD so you both have fun and feel comfortable with the decor. She can always have a headboard with space to add photos so she can put mini posters of her favorite band my 10yr old niece loves one direction :P and pictures of her life. We have something similar so SD can add a more personalized touch to her room and it includes pictures of her mom as well and her friends and cousins.

this is sort of my plan. we will have a twin bed in the room and my nursery stuff is from PBK so luckily they make the same "theme" for a twin bed also. SD is ok with that. i will be using this bed if i need to when she is not around.. i will let her decorate how she wants to with pictures and such but trying to arrange the room and talking about what i want to do with the nursery DF's first response is always "what about, karissa." i haven't forgotten about her or neglected what she wants in any way.. i guess i just want him to understand this is my first child and i want to do some things MY way.. she's My LO too. He has 3 kids so i feel like its new news to me, but old to him.

Ginlyn0

Just please make sure your SD feels as though it's her room also and not her staying in her baby sister's room. My DD never had a room at her dad's house until SM got pregnant and they moved into a 2 bedroom apt. Then she got to share with the baby but it was decorated for the baby and only had a plain comforter on her bed and her stuff was kept in a box in the closet.

Now she has her own room in their house, but they still don't let her decorate it at all. They buy her posters and send them home to my house. Her room is essentially their storage room and her stuff is still kept in cardboard boxes. I feel really bad for her.

I'm totally not against room sharing. We all share rooms in my house, but we make sure everyone feel like they have their own space in the room in which they get to decorate how they want.

highlights

Just remember that your SD will care what is on the walls, your baby will not.

2chatter

Can you do some big kid projects that fit the overall nursery feel you want?  most of the PBK stuff is scalable to pre teens, IMO.  We are doing this project: https://www.recreateanddecorate.com/2013/06/02/a-decorated-bulletin-board-craft-for-kids/

 You could do a small one for the baby in complementary fabric to what SD chooses.

If the room is big enough, can you do two bookcases, one for baby and one for SD?  Decorate wooden letters with SD's name as another project to do with her for the room.  Then SD has a place to put all her "stuff".  With room sharing here that was one issue we had - too little surface area and a challenge when one child was here eowknd and one was here full time.

Alohalove

slusk13:

MichelleApple:

Hi I'm Michelle and I mostly lurk on this board so just incase people think I'm some sort of creeper. That being sai I think DF has a point of making sure SD has a say in decorating her room even if its half hers. I am expecting my first LO October with DH and luckily SD is just as excited as we are, she is turning 6 a week before my EDD so she's still young enough to enjoy baby/little kid themes and what not. DH and I already have her room set up with a music theme since she plays guitar and piano so were not changing the theme an instead just add softer colors aroun the room for LO. We don't know the sex yet but it'll be cute or either boy or girl. I hope you find some sort of compromise with SD so you both have fun and feel comfortable with the decor. She can always have a headboard with space to add photos so she can put mini posters of her favorite band my 10yr old niece loves one direction :P and pictures of her life. We have something similar so SD can add a more personalized touch to her room and it includes pictures of her mom as well and her friends and cousins.

 

this is sort of my plan. we will have a twin bed in the room and my nursery stuff is from PBK so luckily they make the same "theme" for a twin bed also. SD is ok with that. i will be using this bed if i need to when she is not around.. i will let her decorate how she wants to with pictures and such but trying to arrange the room and talking about what i want to do with the nursery DF's first response is always "what about, karissa." i haven't forgotten about her or neglected what she wants in any way.. i guess i just want him to understand this is my first child and i want to do some things MY way.. she's My LO too. He has 3 kids so i feel like its new news to me, but old to him.

 

This is such a tough one.  I totally understand.  My baby is my first and my husband's third.  Sometimes he has a "seen it and done it" attitude that makes me sad.  His kids are older and for certain things/experiences they've already had theirs.  This is my first and only child and I'm going to enjoy her and every stage of her life as much as I can.

That being said, I wouldn't want your SD to feel like she's being ignored, at the same time you shouldn't be deprived of doing the nursery for your baby.  Baby's only get a nursery once. 

Is it possible to have some sort of divider in the room?    

CFjo2010

highlights:

Just remember that your SD will care what is on the walls, your baby will not.

^^ This.  SD needs to feel like that bedroom is hers  also, and not feel like she's a visitor.

DD and K share a room.  They're only 2 years apart so they pretty much agree on everything when it comes to decorating.  But there was a brief period at the very beginning when K was still really into Disney Princess and Barbie, and DD had already moved on to Hannah Montana and High School Musical.  We kept the furniture neutral and they each got to pick out their own bedding.  But nothing was put on the walls that they didn't both agree to.  Their walls were bare for about 3 months until they both were willing to compromise on some wall decals that were peace signs and graffiti style flowers.  They had a bunch of the cute sayings and were happy.  For about a year.  Then they hated all the stuff and wanted to redecorate.

Your SD is going to change her likes and dislikes pretty often.  Maybe go with the wall decal approach (they peel right off, no damage to paint at all) but avoid characters.  Target and Bed Bath & Beyond have TONS of different decals: hearts, flowers, quotes, full blown trees with flowers, etc.  Let SD have some liberty in choosing what is going to go on the walls, or try to not put anything on the walls.  As for bedding let SD pick out her bedding and just avoid character stuff.  Target has really cute bedding for girls right now in summer colors and flowery, aka: easy to blend into a nursery theme.

ldmessing

monster high is cute, let her do it, she will get tired of it way before the new baby cares about things like how her room is decorated, maybe by them SD will have her own room