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Working Moms
BabyNewbury2012
member
Should we worry?
BabyNewbury2012
member
in Working Moms
Our daughter who is 14 months old has been in daycare since 5 months, 4 days per week. She has moved to the 3rd room there and is having a hard time with the move, totally breaking our hearts. They sleep on mats, eat at table and chairs and go outside twice, those are just some changes. She never had any trouble moving the first time. She hardly ever cries so this is so hard to watch. Any parents have this issue?
Also even in the last room they have noticed she would rather be by herself then be in group. When they do group activities she gets up and goes on her own and if they try to get her to stay she gets upset. It's almost like she don't like to be overcrowded. We have her in little gym as well, once a week and even there she always goes off on her own instead of playing with others, not all the time but most of the time. Is this common? Should we be worried? Of course when her teachers mentioned it I couldn't help feeling like I was doing something wrong.
Would love to know your thoughts/experiences?
thank you!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Should we worry?
Moving from cribs to mats is a big transition at this age. How long has she been in this room? If it's only been a week or two, give it more time to let her adjust on her own. My son loves being on his own. All the teachers have commented that he must be an only child. For the most part, they try to get him as part of a group, but if he doesn't want to, they let him stay by himself. My son is independent and stubborn and I think those qualities are coming through; I don't think it is anything to worry about. He does play well with others, but wants his own time a bit during the day as well. I think that's normal for all people.
ETA: They let him play by himself in a corner, not in a separate room unsupervised or anything like that.
Give it a few weeks, transitions are so hard at that age!
Also, it sounds as though your daughter may be a natural introvert. You can help her (and yourself) if you read up a bit on introversion, including how to support an introverted child. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, it's just a matter of understanding how they wish to interact with others and respecting that the time playing alone is what recharges and refreshes them.
Good luck!
This age is the hardest transition. I worked at a daycare when I was in college, and I had the kids who were around 1.5 transitioning from baby to toddler. It is very tough for them to adapt to no bottles, only one nap, sleeping on mats, etc. It's a lot of changes at once. Give it some time, she will adjust. This is also the age where they suffer from separation anxiety. My DS is 15months and has been at DC since 8months. He changed rooms back in March and now all of a sudden he is clinging to me at dropoff and crying when I leave. I know that it's just a phase and he will outgrow it.
Good Luck, it will get easier!
DS had a hard time for the first month or so when he moved to the toddler room. Around age 1, he became very shy and took a long time to warm up to new groups, even kids his own age. Some kids are just more reserved in unfamiliar environments. Young toddlers should be allowed the freedom to do their own thing in a safe setting. Group stuff was never mandatory in the 1 year old room (except mealtime).
I just had a parent-teacher conference with LO's teacher, and she was saying she had new kids in her room, so there was a lot of crying (it was related to our convo about LO), but it's normal during the transition until they get used to the new room. I'd do like PP said and give it a while and see about improvements. She'll also develop her skills at following directions as well.
We had LO in a soccer class and he was constantly doing his own thing, but he's overall very social and not shy at all. DH and I equate that to the fact we're there, so he jsut wants to hang around us.
I would just go back to the teacher in a few weeks and ask on progress and see if after being familiar has she made new friends and become more part of the group.
Dear boss I pump at 3 everyday and have since I came back to work 3 months ago why are we now scheduling staff meetings at 3?
Signed a worker with kids
Dear DD
I love your morning snuggles and smiles. You make it so hard for mommy to leave and go to work.
Love mommy with guilt
Prior to 2-3yrs old, kids don't play with each other so much as near each other. So the whole notion of playing with the other kids is a ways off.
She may just be transitioning and/or she may just be a more introverted person, who prefers solitary time.
Definitely wouldn't worry about this.
That's a lot of change. What kind of transition period did they do? At our daycare, the child spends a small amount of time per day over a two week period and they don't fully move until the director and teachers think that they're ready to move. Also, is it possible for her to move to the other room but still nap in a crib? 14 months seems really early to transition out of the crib. The crib is part of their comfort. DS2 just transitioned to a nap mat this week and he's 2!
you know your child so if you sense that this is too much of a push on her at a young age, push back and have the school make accomodations for her.
Agree with the others--give the transition a few more weeks to work itself out; if she is still unhappy and having difficulty at the end of June, I'd talk to the director.
And as others have said, some kids are just naturally introverted and draw their energy from being more solitary. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. My DD#1 is a total extrovert, life of the party, and from a super young age, we could see that DD#2 is almost exactly the opposite and would so much rather just be doing her own thing, completely happily. This worried me a little at first, but the realized that my DH and I are the same way--me the extrovert and him the introvert.
Just give it time--I'm sure she will be great!
Will baby #3 be another girl?
]
little gym is only 45 mins and it is a mommy and me class. She loves it.
My kids haven't been in daycare, but your DD sounds like my older son. He has always HATED organized group activities. We would go to story time at the library when he was your DD's age, and whenever there was group songs or finger play, he would just sit on my lap and cringe (well, however a toddler cringes!). He started preschool at 2.5 and it took almost the whole school year for him to sit with everyone else during circle time. I think his teachers got him acclimated to it by letting him sit in their laps and not pushing him to sit with his classmates before he was ready for it.
He's now 5 and has only gotten better about being in group, though he still hates some of them (they do warm ups at his baseball, and he just refuses to participate during that part). I think some kids are just not joiners, you know? But I wouldn't worry about it at all.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Give it a few more weeks. It's totally normal. DD had a rough transition when she moved to the 1-2 year old room. She thrived there and was so sad when she moved to the 2-3 year old room. Now (three weeks later) she is LOVING her new room.
It takes time. Toddlers are creatures of habit!
the thing is at little gym she gets out of my arms and goes to sit in the center of the circle clapping her hands and laughing, she loves being the center of attention. But when they have to go explore she would rather go on her own. Then at daycare it's a smaller space, so I'm wondering if that's it. They did say this afternoon after nap she was laughing and playing fine but this morning she cried a lot! Her old teacher took her back to her old class for lunch then she went back to new class. Fingers crossed that tomorrow gets well.
thank you everyone! This has been a hard few days.