Need an opinion about name conflict

caliblonde6

I recently found out I am pregnant. Yay! It's too early to know the sex but there is a name that I have loved since high school for a girl 11 years ago There has never been another name that I have wanted. My DH's cousin, who is also our neighbor and friend, just had a baby. When we told her our choice for a girls name she told us that her and her husband had planned on using that name if/when they had a boy obviously it is a gender neutral name because it is her fathers name. Now they had never told anyone the names that they had chosen they are big on secrets but I had wanted the name before she had ever gotten pregnant anyways, it's not like I stole it. She was pretty clear that she didn't want us to use the name. But I can't imagine calling a daughter anything else. What do you think? Other than hopefully its a boy lol. Is it worth the possible drama?

caliblonde6

Yes. DH likes the name too.

sunlavender

If you both love the name, you should use it.  Your cousin doesn't get a say in what you name your baby.

EastCoastBride

I go both ways on this. 

No one owns a name so you have every right to use it.  There is nothing wrong w/ it, at all.

However, at the same time, this is a neighbor and a cousin and if you use it, it may really upset them (no matter how much WE, here, don't think it should matter) and could affect your relationship with them.  This isn't just a name she's always loved - it's her fathers name.

You and DH need to decide what is more important to you.

if you find out you're having a girl, though, you both could approach the cousin and just tell her that you know the name is important to her and that it's also important to you.  You do plan on using it, but you personally don't care if she uses it when (if) she eventually has a boy. 

But again - you have to plan on her being upset.  Just figure out what matters the  most to you. 

Empireceo

I agree with PP, it's easy for us to say she's being immature and to just use the name (she is, do it) but you really know best if this is the kind of person who will hold a grudge forever. If she lives nearby and she's family and liable to have twisted panties for years, you have to decide if it's worth it. But if I loved the name, I would use it.

Soap1

EastCoastBride:

I go both ways on this. 

No one owns a name so you have every right to use it.  There is nothing wrong w/ it, at all.

However, at the same time, this is a neighbor and a cousin and if you use it, it may really upset them (no matter how much WE, here, don't think it should matter) and could affect your relationship with them.  This isn't just a name she's always loved - it's her fathers name.

You and DH need to decide what is more important to you.

if you find out you're having a girl, though, you both could approach the cousin and just tell her that you know the name is important to her and that it's also important to you.  You do plan on using it, but you personally don't care if she uses it when (if) she eventually has a boy. 

But again - you have to plan on her being upset.  Just figure out what matters the  most to you. 

I agree with all of this.  My sister stole THE boy name that I adored since 3rd grade.  I'm still bitter! (but I have my big girl panties on and I'm over it) 

jburdet1

EastCoastBride:

I go both ways on this. 

No one owns a name so you have every right to use it.  There is nothing wrong w/ it, at all.

However, at the same time, this is a neighbor and a cousin and if you use it, it may really upset them (no matter how much WE, here, don't think it should matter) and could affect your relationship with them.  This isn't just a name she's always loved - it's her fathers name.

You and DH need to decide what is more important to you.

if you find out you're having a girl, though, you both could approach the cousin and just tell her that you know the name is important to her and that it's also important to you.  You do plan on using it, but you personally don't care if she uses it when (if) she eventually has a boy. 

But again - you have to plan on her being upset.  Just figure out what matters the  most to you. 

I agree here, too. I usually say name your baby what you want, but it is a family name for her.

Meery82

sunlavender:

If you both love the name, you should use it.  Your cousin doesn't get a say in what you name your baby.

yup 

Mom2BMallory

Your baby, your name.

If this is the name you love and both you and your husband agree then go for it. I would wait until the sex of your baby is found out. We are pregnant and do not need added stress. Who knows maybe you will have a boy? 

Good luck xo 

MTmama3

Please share the name, I'm very curious as to what it is. And if their can be a variation or something simular to suggest.

Also is she pregnant? If not, then name your baby what you want. You are pregnant now and having a baby sooner than her so if you have a girl name her what you LOVE. If you don't you will regret it. I promise. I still have naming regret for my daughter Josephine. It fits her and its a great name but it wasn't the name I LOVED!

Brownie928

There seems to be a lot of ifs or whens in your post. Wait until you find out the gender.you may be stressing over nothing! 

beanbag2013

Meery82:

sunlavender:

If you both love the name, you should use it.  Your cousin doesn't get a say in what you name your baby.

yup 

This.

caliblonde6

Yeah I don't plan on bringing it up till we find out because no use in stirring the pot when it may be a moot point anyways. And I don't care if she used the name too. I just couldn't sleep last night and was getting myself all worked up. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being completely out of line by wanting the name. And as for what the name is, I'm not saying it because people get very nasty about names and that might clout their answer. I appreciate all the feedback :

alphalyrae

caliblonde6:

Yeah I don't plan on bringing it up till we find out because no use in stirring the pot when it may be a moot point anyways. And I don't care if she used the name too. I just couldn't sleep last night and was getting myself all worked up. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being completely out of line by wanting the name. And as for what the name is, I'm not saying it because people get very nasty about names and that might clout their answer. I appreciate all the feedback :

 

That seems counterproductive on a baby names board. We are usually really happy to offer constructive advice. We understand that people have different styles and opinions, and it's kind of hard to offer a complete answer to your name conflict.  You can name your child whatever you want, and so can she. If it happens to be the same name, that's life.

michellejrdh-2

Honestly she's not even pregnant and you are. So if she names her baby the same name then she looks bad. It would be different if she told you the name then you said you liked it.