In-laws

findmenow

Since the board is slow lately I thought I'd share some horror stories to give you all something to read at 3am.

 DH and I were on vacation a few years ago and MIL let herself into our home to "clean up."  We both work and apparently she was harboring secret hatred about how I keep my home.  She destroyed my home.  She threw random stuff out, moved things around, took down pictures, left a giant pile of misc. stuff (things like my neatly organized pile of bills paid/to be paid) on my coffee table with a note to "clean this place up," and then left a note on my fridge saying "don't call me if you're mad."

When I was 31 weeks pregnant MIL sent me a nasty e-mail telling me that everything wrong with the family is my fault and since I married DH I've ruined every family event.  She attacked my family, my parenting choices, my relationship with DH, and my personality.  A combination of that and some health issues caused me to have contractions, which we managed with bed rest.  When DH confronted her about the issue, telling her she caused me to have contractions, her response was simply: "good!"  When we sat down with his FIL to discuss why he and MIL were not going to be allowed at the hospital when DD was born he told me I was being too sensitive and to "buck up."

Luckily DH 100% supports me and realizes his family is BSC.

Now, make me feel better and tell me your horror stories. 

lkm2006

I can't stand mil. We leave in the exact same city and she's basically nonexistent. No joke, she calls every 4 to 5 weeks on the dot and wants to stop by and see the boys. That's the only time we hear from her.

Then she calls one of DH'brothers and complains because I've never let her watch the boys. I've explained time and time again that DS1 sees her once a month for maybe an hour, he doesn't know who she is and she needs to make more of of effort to see him more often before I would ever consider leaving him with her.

I've got really bitter feelings towards her since I have had kids and its really awkward when I'm around her because I know I'm rude but I have a hard time caring.

Mrs.Castaldi

I can't complain about my MIL she's great actually.... So this will be about my actual mother. My parents came to visit when DS was a week and a half old cause they had to book their flight in advance he was a week later than expect so that wasn't the issue. The first full day they were here DH had to go into the office so it was just me, DS and them. What does my mother decide is the best way for her to spend this time with her only grandson? Cleaning the apartment. We knew the place wasn't great, but we were about to move to a new place so things were being taken out and sorted, etc. The next day we took them to a cute shopping district nearby which we knew my mother would love thankfully DS slept almost the whole time we were walking around but then the following day she wanted me to take them back there no DS so she could take some pictures. Then that night, her last night and last chance to hold or dote on her grandson she decides that it's late and they need to go repack and get some rest for traveling back home. It was 5pm. She maybe held her grandson twice while in town. They live in Alabama, I live in California.

jmdahn

I can't stand my FIL.  My MIL is very sweet- but has no balls to stand up to the jerk of a FIL.  The worst part is that my DH's family just accepts my FIL as is- knowing how horrible he is. 

 My inlaws now live about 2.5 hours away and from their house about 20 minutes away about a year ago.  That means when there are family functions- they have to travel and stay for the weekend- or sometimes weeks at a time.  This is one big Italian family- so there are family functions a couple times a month.  As a result, over the past year- my inlaws have stayed with us almost 2 weeks a month.  That is enough to put pressure on a marriage- but that could all be tolerated IF my FIL wasn't who he is. 

Picture the appearance of a pedofile.  A person that invades your space when he talks with you is the biggest hypocrite that I know.  He preaches the word of God and then judges others.  He is dirty, showers maybe once a week.  This only adds to the disgusting smell of his smoking 3-4 packs a day.  When he is in my home my house SMELLS so bad I can't even use enough stuff to make it smell better.  It is so bad that I have pillows, sheets, and a comforter that is only on the bed when they are here- everyone else gets a pretty nice fluffy comforter.  He could care less about anyone else but himself- never opens a door for his wife, all plans must revolve around him, first in line to eat and makes a HUGE mess.  He can't even make a cup of coffee with out leaving a trail behind himself of grounds and drips staining my counter and floors when I am nit following right behind him. 

The frustration with my children- besides being stinky- is that he only acknowledges DS#1.  DS#2 is 10 weeks old and his Grandpa doesn't even act like he exists.  I just did DS#2 newborn book and there isn't even a pic of him with his grandpa in the book- not because I left him out- but because he never held him or got near him to take a pic.  He constantly tells DS#1 how special he is, and how wonderful it is to be his Grandpa- all of this started after DS#2 was born. 

I am seconds from exploding - and know that it will cause a total issue if I do.  It is so bad that my own family and friends will not come around if he is here.  So if we have a function- the house is divided.  After nearly 3 years of marriage it is getting old and not sure how much longer I can keep my cool. 

Thanks for the venting ability...I can't talk with anyone about this.  

Dolls2011

I'm switching it up with a FIL story. He is super opinionated and thinks he is right about EVERYTHING and that he knows more than EVERYONE. It is literally impossible to have a conversation with him without him challenging whatever you say and telling you why you're wrong. And if you try to agree to disagree with him, he won't allow it. He'll just keep bringing up the subject. Drives me nuts! I can ignore ignorance like this but my husband cannot when it comes to his dad so anytime they're together, they just argue. I hate having him over to our house. He tends to overstay his welcome and it's just hours of him basically trying to prove how smart he is the whole time.

I mentioned that I would like to go back to work when our son is about a year. Well, that was not acceptable to him. He is very old school and legit thinks a woman should stay home with the kids and do ALL of the cooking and cleaning. This is what he does with my MIL, refuses to lift a finger and then has the guts to tell her she does it all wrong.

Oh man, it feels good to get that off my chest!

findmenow

jmdahn:

I am seconds from exploding - and know that it will cause a total issue if I do.  It is so bad that my own family and friends will not come around if he is here.  So if we have a function- the house is divided.  After nearly 3 years of marriage it is getting old and not sure how much longer I can keep my cool. 

Thanks for the venting ability...I can't talk with anyone about this.  

 

Vent away.  I know what it's like to be stuck in a situation where there is no solution, only survival. 

jmdahn

LOL! Survival...what a great way to put it!  I wish I could afford to buy them a house and get them out of my darn hair. At least I am not alone- not that I am glad others have crazy's in their lives...it is just good to know it isn't just me!

jmdahn

Dolls2011:

He is very old school and legit thinks a woman should stay home with the kids and do ALL of the cooking and cleaning. This is what he does with my MIL, refuses to lift a finger and then has the guts to tell her she does it all wrong. Oh man, it feels good to get that off my chest!

ugh...I get it. These men need a kick in the bleep!

Andrea+David

I didn't think I had anything to input to this thread but apparently now I sorta do although its about my own mother... Anyway, the 4 of us have been living with my parents since right after the baby was born since he lost his job 2 days after our son was born. We've both been very appreciative of all my parents have done for us to help out and have told them NUMEROUS times this!! This past week however has been a nightmare!!! We've had to stay the past week at his elderly dad's house to help him with some things since he's almost 80 and is in failing health, well Sunday afternoon after church she started being very standoffish and sent me a horribly long text about how she felt very taken advantage of and how her house still looks like we live there even though we aren't, etc. So I basically got guilted into coming back over to their house which is about 30 miles from my FIL's house with the baby while he had to stay at his dad's to finish helping, which is fine although I hate being apart! When I got over there all our stuff had been rearranged and everything from upstairs was just thrown in the basement where we are staying! To make matters worse she isn't speaking to me, didn't even act like I was there! What really upset me is that she didn't even say anything to the baby either and he really LOVES his grandma! She is acting like a total baby and I really don't exactly know why!! It's not like we are leaving for good without telling them or ignoring them, I came over several times during the past week to help her do some things and run errands! I'm so confused, we need their help otherwise we will be homeless because we can't stay with his dad full time because of where he lives! She even went so far as to change the password to the internet so we can't get on which means he can't come back over here until she gets her act together because he is in school taking online classes! It's not like we are 16... We're 27 and 30 with a 5 1/2 year old and an almost 3 month old! I know they've been helping us a lot so we need to be respectful and thankful, which we are but we have priorities to his parents as well!

Leni410

I'm surrounded my insanity!!

We are planning dd baptism for two weeks from now a bunch of family on dh side refuses to rsvp!! I don't freaking get it! I have given these people 2 months notice.. The ones who have rsvp'd aren't coming which also annoys me. We make sure to attend every event for family and they can't have the same family dedication. I told dh I'm going to stop inviting them since they don't seem to care.
MIL had yet to meet dd. MIL lives in Michigan and we live in Illinois but we have give and stayed at FILs house while is 20 min from where she lives and she hasn't made the trip to see us. It breaks dhs heart but I'm silently thankful. She's ungrateful doesn't deserve to touch my child.
My mother sister went to Tennessee for a family funeral when i get a call that my mom got into a huge fight with family. Cops were called yada yada... Well she calls me later to tell me her side and starts saying negative stuff about my sister to me so i flip and tell her to quit being a drunken ***.. Yep that was Saturday i haven't heard from her sense.

staceyjordan

Well.. I have yet to meet my MIL. DH and I eloped. We both live in another state from our parents. His mother is a functioning alcoholic and he even had fetal alcohol syndrome because of it! Anyway she really hasn't shown much interest in DH until we got married and pregnant. Well we just found out she is coming down this month to visit. No telephone call saying hey does this work with your schedule? and on top of that, the first day she is here, dh is at work. So me and DS have to meet her on our own. Queue happiness

findmenow

staceyjordan:

Well.. I have yet to meet my MIL. DH and I eloped. We both live in another state from our parents. His mother is a functioning alcoholic and he even had fetal alcohol syndrome because of it! Anyway she really hasn't shown much interest in DH until we got married and pregnant. Well we just found out she is coming down this month to visit. No telephone call saying hey does this work with your schedule? and on top of that, the first day she is here, dh is at work. So me and DS have to meet her on our own. Queue happiness

 This sounds like h e l l.  Good luck with that!  I would make her reschedule for a time that DH is available, but that's probably not an option for you.