Emergency c section

lucky713

Anyone else have one? It's been 8 weeks and I'm having a hard time coping. It's not depression but they waited til lo heart rate stopped before c section. Intensive care for 19 days were rough

Mrs.Rose

I am so sorry this happened to you.  I had an emergency c-section with Carson, my second, after he was in distress with a flat heart rate.  Honestly, after that and our NICU stay, I think I had some post-partum anxiety.  We were told at one point in the NICU to discuss our DNR plans, and that really sent me over the edge.  I went on some anti-depressants after I talked to my midwife and that REALLY helped.  I was not really upset over the c-section, as it was my second one.  However, after my first c-section (not planned, failed induction), I was super upset over my "lost" natural birth.  I think I was so consumed after Carson was born with his medical issues, I just pushed disappointment aside.  However, it sounds like you are dealing with both issues at once, which has to be horrible.

This WILL get better.  It just takes time.  Hang in there. 

lucky713

Thank you. That's how I feel, lost the natural birth and all the first moments that went with it. Drs say the mobility portion if her brain was damaged but so far she's met all milestones. Drs say we won't know how much it will effect her if at all until we watch her grow. Someone thought they saw a sign of seizure so she's in meds as a precaution It's all just so frustrating. Thank u for sharing your story, I don't feel as alone now. I feel more that she was torn from me than that I gave birth.

HattieDornbush

I had an emergency csection with my twins. They are 7 weeks and I feel totally cheated out of my birth experience. I am thankful that we are all healthy, but it is still hard. You are so right about feeling like they were born from you instead of birthing them. Sorry you are feeling the same way I am.

MrsNyberg09

I don't understand why they let you go so long to where her heart stopped in the first place. I was pretty pissed my emergency cs with my ds because they induced me and let me go for 3 days. I hope everything turns out for the best with you and the baby.

lucky713

MrsNyberg09:

I don't understand why they let you go so long to where her heart stopped in the first place. I was pretty pissed my emergency cs with my ds because they induced me and let me go for 3 days. I hope everything turns out for the best with you and the baby.[/quote. We don't understand why they waited either which I run through my head constantly, it makes me so upset.

htaylor516

I went through something similar. My daughter was born 4 weeks early on Mother's Day via c section. I was having titanic contractions which put her in distress causing her heart rate to drop. I was hoping to vbac but that wasn't an option. She came out not breathing and had to be intibated. The drs say she suffered a neurological insult which gave her trouble transitioning from womb to air. In order to prevent any damage she went through a 72 hour cooling therapy in the NICU. It was scary not knowing exactly what happened. At the end of the day her MRI and EEG were fine but she will be monitored developmentally until she's 3.
Hang in there...you aren't alone.

lucky713

Yes that's practically our case! She was cooled and hadn't handled my contractions which were two min apart and top to bottom on the monitor but I hadn't felt anything. Her EEG came back abnormal though and the MRI did show some damage. I hope your lo overcomes all this too. Thanks for the support.

magdalina.h

I had one. I struggle with it because it's the only way I can have kids now, since I was so early (28w4d) they had to do a classical cut so I'm not a candidate for a VBAC. Also the fact that my son didn't survive. As time as gone by, it's gotten better, but it's still a struggle.

lucky713

I'm so sorry for your loss.

hopefulmom81

A traumatic birth can trigger major feelings that are almost exactly similar to post traumatic stress.

I would suggest reading "Why Have Kids" by Jessica Valenti.  I will be completely honest that she is a huge feminist so the book is very biased, but it is very much about the idea of perfect motherhood and how it is a myth.

She wanted the same things, an unmedicated birth and whatnot and ended up having a premature baby with many complications.  She talks about having those choices robbed from her, but examining why they were so important in the first place.

If you truly are having trouble coping, I would mention it to your OB or general doctor. 

Mrs.Rose

You should really introduce yourself on the special needs board.  There are several ladies over there who have kids with brain issues, seizures, etc.  They are SOOO supportive and helpful.  

I am also sending you a PM! 

Dolls2011

Yup. Everyone was good in my situation, no intensive care, but what was tough for me was not being awake when my little guy was born. I feel like I missed out on the whole experience of having a baby. It still bothers me but I am feeling better about it these days... 11 weeks PP.

cmhicklin

FWIW, I didn't get those "firsts" with my vaginal delivery.

wendy2613

I had one with DD1 and had the same feeling. I got HELLPS at the end and was so bad that they put me under. By the time I woke up mine and DH's families had all met her before me. I am still upset and sad by this and she'll be two next month. It's normal to have these feeling. Hope you start feeling better!

knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa

MrsNyberg09:

I don't understand why they let you go so long to where her heart stopped in the first place. I was pretty pissed my emergency cs with my ds because they induced me and let me go for 3 days. I hope everything turns out for the best with you and the baby.

This! Why would they go this long? With my emergency csection, as soon as my sons heart dropped to 90 without recovering between contractions, they recommended to Do a csection. It was tough after pushing for almost 2 hours but it is what it is. So sorry to hear about this traumatic labor and I hope your baby is ok.

krismk1

I had a prolapsed cord and so emergency C section was necessary and definitely feel cheated out of the delivery experience. I was under general and my husband wasn't allowed in the room so neither of us got to see her born. Luckily, I dont feel my recover was really any worse except maybe the first week. So all in all, we are both healthy so Im trying not to dwell on it.

mysticl

My c-section was labeled "urgent" instead of "emergency" because I failed to progress.  I understand the feeling of having not given birth.  I was awake for the delivery but thanks to the curtain in my face I didn't see anything.  They showed me DS and then took him away, I sent DH with him.  Then they knocked me out, I didn't know that was going to happen.  When I woke up they moved me from the OR to the recovery room and brought me DS to breastfeed.  I feel like he isn't mine.  I love him, I'm bonded to him, but I don't feel like he is the child I carried for 39w6d.  I say I was pregnant and then I wasn't.  They handed me a child. Intellectually I know he came out of me but it just doesn't feel that way.  

byrne15

With ds #1, I labored for 16 hours, pushed for 1.5 hours, had an episiotomy, failed forceps attempt and then a c-section under general anesthesia.

I did (and still do at times) feel completely cheated out of his birth.  I mean...I wasn't even awake and Dh wasn't allowed due to the emergency of it all.

I will say that time has mostly healed me.  I will never get those 1st moments back, but we have made so many other firsts together.

I do admit...that even 5+ years later I do feel a little jealous when a friend has a baby vaginally.  I can't help but feel I missed out.