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July 2013 Moms
EagleWife
member
MIL Gem of the Week
EagleWife
member
There are so many of you out there that have crazy horror stories from your MILs... want to share today? (It's kind of quiet, right?)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL Gem of the Week
Not so much a horror story.
My baby shower is this upcoming Sunday and MIL RSVP's yesterday by telling me she hopes I wont be angry that she isn't coming because she wants to go up to her campsite. (they go every weekend, but whatever)
Just more annoyed than anything.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Not so much a horror story. But my MIL will also not be attending my baby shower. She claims it will be awkward to be around my FIL (baby shower is at his house), they have been divorced for 15+ years.
I would kind of understand this if it weren't for the fact that they talk on the phone almost daily, see each other at a lot of family events, and are on very good terms.
DH is really offended by this. She has kind of dropped the ball on us ever since our engagement. Pretty much his entire family has, except FIL. It sucks.
Sorry that became a mini rant.
So was I! haha but I hope things stay calm for you Prim!
Me too. Lauren: Usually with her she is just stewing on something and will freak out when we see her next.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Atleast she RSVPed! My MIL showed up at my house the night before my shower with a gift. So I assumed that meant she wasn't coming to the shower. But she never gave a reason.
I really do love my MIL, but she has a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease. She does not mean any harm, but she'll say something without thinking and hurt feelings ensue. This happened about 6 weeks ago, but I just found out about it 2 weeks ago, and MIL found out yesterday, so it's fresh in my mind.
My DH & I had a bit of a whirwind year, our wedding was moved up 5 mos early because of our surprise BFP, we had from Jan-Feb to do pretty much ALL pre-wedding festivities and then got married in early March. Things had finally settled down from the wedding and then focus shifted to the baby. My sisters in law threw us a baby shower near the end of April, which was so kind of them. I know how much time and effort goes into planning an event like that, (I'm currently planning my sister's wedding shower, it's a circus!) so I know they were tired & stressed by the end of the day.
Well, apparently after DH & I left the party and the SILs & MIL were cleaning up my MIL made a comment along the lines of "ok, we need a moratorium on babies and weddings for the rest of the year, I need a break!" Well, you guessed it, one of my SILs had found out a couple days earlier that she was pregnant, and had just told her DH the day before the party. She drove home from the shower crying and upset, convinced that she/her pregnancy/her baby were going to be an inconvenience, that no one would be excited for them, etc. They announced the pregnancy on Mother's Day (SIL was about 11 weeks by then) and of course everyone is THRILLED for them, but when she told me later what our MIL had said after the shower I had to laugh out loud, because of COURSE she would say something like that and of COURSE someone in the room would be pregnant. Thankfully my SIL was at a place where we could laugh about it together, the sting/hurt was gone by then, and we could just roll our eyes at the whole thing. It wasn't the first and it won't be the last time she says something that comes out wrong, but luckily we're all pretty resilient at this point.
My MIL offered me a beer and rolled her eyes (not in a joking way) when I said "no thank you".
Mine's just a story about MIL being a little over-pushy.
I'm not into gardening, and apparently she thinks that's a bad thing. I vaguely expressed an interest in hydrangea (for my wedding almost 2 years ago), and now she feels the need to push them on me whenever she can.
Saturday morning, she had FIL go out and dig up about 15 plants. She then called us (after they were dug up), and asked if I wanted them. When I said that I didn't want them today (Saturday), because it was over 100?F outside and I didn't want to risk heat stroke... she layed a guilt trip on DH. She then convinced DH that we should do supper, so I figured that she had given up on the plants, and was going to leave it to some other time --- I didn't know at this point that they had already dug them all up.
DH and I spent the day not feeling well because of the extreme temperatures/humidity (we don't have AC). We didn't really want to do dinner, but figured that since she was so disappointed in me not wanting the plants, that she had to be placated.
Well, we had set a time for dinner at 5:30, and they showed up at 4... with all these plants.
She made FIL (who's just getting over a horrible cold and was coughing up phlegm the whole time, who's 75) and DH (who clearly wasn't feeling well and had a huge headache from the heat), go and mow the lawn, weed the area she wanted them planted, and then plant them.
We were inside, since I was absolutely not going to budge on the whole working outside in 100?F weather thing, and she balked at me even going out to offer them water! It took them almost 2 full hours of work to get everything done, and she felt it was INCONVENIENT to go outside in the sun to give them water.
Sheesh.
(And don't even get me started on how she's probably sent FIL back over to our house again today with more plants that I said I didn't really want. GAH!)
MIL has been telling everybody that she wants the baby out NOW. And has been saying that since I was 31 weeks. She keeps on asking me why I'm not more impatient for the baby to come. Well, I would like it for my baby to make it at least to term before coming.
Also, H got a call yesterday from the ILs. They have a cradle that they said we could use, which I agreed to. Along with picking up the cradle they had 3 boxes of all of H's baby clothes and all of his toys. I already have all of the clothes that we need right now, and I don't need ALL of H's 30 year old baby toys. I just don't have time to deal with it. Maybe had they given them to me 10 weeks ago, it would be different, but I have too much to do to deal with all of this. And although FIL said we could get rid of whatever we don't want, MIL threw a fit that we would get rid of her baby's toys.
Baby boy 7.10.13
So we told my MIL back in Thanksgiving that we were pregnant and due July 18th. Her response (after being happy) was the baby can't come while she is on her annual cruise July 5th - 12th. Umm. ok. Not my problem.
So now we are almost 34 weeks, and we have GD and low PAPP-A. So the chance that we'll be induced early - by a week or so is looking really good. So this lead to several conversations over the past few days of her saying as long as we wait until she is in Bermuda then she can fly back. Ok - whatever.
Well last night, she brings it up again and says she should be able to get back in time to be with us in the delivery room. Umm. No. No. No. Long discussion and some tears on her part - because apparently we are excluding her from our child's life because we want a few hours with our baby just to ourselves, she agreed not to be in the delivery room. But then announced she will be staying with us for at least a week after we get home. To help. So we agreed but if she doesn't help and instead drives us crazy - home she goes. (She lives 20 min away btw)
And all of this when it was HOT and I developed sciatica over the weekend. Not the best day ever.
Are you sure you and I don't have the same MIL? Her name is Val... She has a gardening complex too and regularly shames me for not having one of my own. I'm 8 months pregnant for godsake! I'm not crawling around in the dirt to to transplant hastas with you! The landscaping can wait this year. Seriously.
WOW!! I don't understand. Do they feel like we have taken away their sons and now have issues with us?? I dont get it
I have to confess that I can't complain too much. My MIL lives on the other side of the country, so I don't have to deal with her much. However, we are total opposites and it drives me fruit bats to be around her. Literally every aspect of our lives and personalities are different.
MIL had suspicions about me from day one, as I'm four years older than my husband, and he tended to be a little naive and taken advantage of in his younger years. He moved to the west coast in his early twenties, and I don't think his family had any idea what BC was like. And I tend to be on the liberal end of a very liberal society. I'm not a dreadlocked hippie that's going to give birth with dolphins or anything, but to them I might as well be.
MIL and FIL just tend to be very self-centered, and don't have an altruistic bone in their body. Opposite to my consume less and be environmentally friendly world view, MIL will go to Walmart for 8 hours and buys crap that nobody needs or wants, then either put it in "storage" (aka her hoard), or try to give it to one of us as something we might need. I try to stay away from Walmart as much as I can and support local business, and I really don't want cheap crap in my house. I absolutely do not buy unless something is needed.
Seriously, she buys stuff for herself, and then gives it to me as a present. I am 5'6" and used to be a size 6. On Christmas when we were first married, she gave me a size 12 pair of stirrup pants in a petite length, with a couple of cotton turtleneck long sleeves. This is basically what she wears all the time (she's seriously stuck in the 80's).
The city they live in just moved to bi-weekly garbage pickup, and bi-weekly recycling pickup, with compostable organics picked up every week. They absolutely refuse to recycle because it's too much effort to wash out a tin can and put it in a separate bin. So they biitch and whine about how their property taxes are so high and they only get biweekly garbage and had to go and buy more and bigger garbage cans. Um, there's two of them (all their kids have moved out), and they live in a 4000sqft house on 3/4 of an acre... Their property taxes SHOULD be high (it's only about double what we pay on our 1050sqft bungalow on a standard city lot). And we, including disposable diapers in our garbage, have less than one can of garbage biweekly, while they have three oversized cans. Urrrrrrrrrrghhhh!
There is so, so much more, but this is just getting a little long... Can't wait to see MIL for a couple weeks in July!! (sarcasm)
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
Mine's Linda... and her daughter (my SIL) is her exact duplicate. Yuck.
This is also the woman that told me that grandma's are for spoiling... after DH and I told her that we would only be introducing ONE food at a time to baby because of potential allergies. Both DH and I have strong food allergies, and we'd like to slowly introduce food over the first few months to make it easier to figure out what triggers there are. She said she'll feed baby whatever she wants to, because her kids made out fine.
We brought this up early, because she's the one that fed her 2nd grandchild that had an extreme milk allergy ice cream bars at 7 MONTHS!! Despite knowing full well that she'd have a strong reaction and would spend the night crying in pain.
My poor ILs, MIL has been in and out of the psych ward for about a month. She won't take her full dose of meds while she's in there, she thinks they are trying to poison her. But then somehow she keeps managing to get herself out of the hospital. Then she goes off her meds again and ends up calling the police and going back to the hospital. It is so sad and frustrating for everyone involved.
The good news is she has stopped calling me during the week during her manic spells (I shut her down pretty quick.) The bad news is that she has taken to calling SIL's husband instead (he's a house husband and home during the day.) She told him her new plan is to kill herself, but stage it so that it looks like FIL did it so that he goes to jail for her murder and that is how she will get her revenge on him.
Is it wrong that I'm hoping they cancel their trip out here in August?
Goodness, you definitely win the award for MIL Gem of the Week!
(And no, I'd totally want them to cancel as well, so no guilt required).
Wow, she is completely obnoxious.
And she's a terrible gardener, you don't transplant plants in the summer, especially not in 100 degree weather. They are all going to die now. How dumb.
In all fairness, we don't normally get 100?F weather this time of year... it's currently a more average 61?F, and is scheduled to be in the mid-sixties for the rest of the week.
DD1 7/10/08 DD2 8/11/10 DS 7/2/13
I have a lil rant, if i can even call it that.
DH got a text last night from his dear old mom asking if i would bake 40 cupcakes and decorate them like Hello Kitty for my 4 year old nieces birthday party in about 2 weeks.
Now for a little background, i am the go-to person in our circle of friends and family for any and all baking needs. I love to do it and am very crafty, so people tend to love my work. However, i am 35w2d and currently been having Prodromal labor for the past 3.5 days so there is a chance I might not even be pregnant in two weeks. When my DH reminded his mom about this she sounded disappointed but seemed to understand.
I just find it strange that she would ask a women to bake and decorate a ton of cupcakes for a 4 year old who wouldn't know the difference from store bought ones when she is around 37 weeks pregnant. All i want to do is sleep... When i can get it.
Yikes!
Sounds like I'm not the only one with an MIL from Hell. Holy crap y'all!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Why do MILs (or Moms, friends, sisters) all assume they'll be in the delivery room? This really isn't about you! You'll see the baby, I just want to see her first.
And I laughed - I'd be tempted to name him John out of spite too!
You want to see your grandchild so badly, stop complaining and get in the damn car!
Can they come plant at my house next?
I can definitely relate to the delivery room stresses - my own mother is the queen of guilt trips and won't understand why I don't want family in the delivery room. Her own words: "I want to be there when you have an "I want my mommy moment," and I can be there to hold up your knee while you push!" Umm, I haven't had an "I want my mommy moment" since I was maybe 4, and we do NOT have the kind of relationship where I'd want her even in the waiting room, let alone the delivery room, because I can't trust her not to come in and micromanage.
I thought we'd settled it but when I gently brought up other issues like how we live in a small apartment with no space for the things she's constantly bringing us that we don't want or need for the baby (cloth things when we're going disposable because *she* doesn't believe in disposable, for example), she first called my brother to tell him that I'm "ripping the family apart" by not letting family be a part of the birth (his response to me: "Dude. Your vag, your call"), then sent this little gem as part of a longer passive-aggressive e-mail (because yeah, she can't even call me):
"Being part of unique events in your life such as the birth of Abigail would be a profoundly powerful time for our family. It is all about family and love and joy and sharing a new life with loved ones. I will, of course respect your wishes. My own personal wish is that you allow yourself to experience joy and love from those who love you and will always be there for you if you let us, not JUST when YOU need us."
Sigh, I agree with the other poster who said that their biggest stress isn't even birth or being a first-time mom, it's dealing with mother/MIL stress...