Intro and Travel Question

Maebb

Hi! I'm Mae, and my DS is 6 months old. I do engineering consulting for a large company, and DH does engineering for an airline.

I'm about to leave for my first out of town trip tomorrow, and it's a pretty big deal because it is a large project, and I'm the project lead. There is a bit of added stress because I pump, and I'll need to find a time and place to do that at the customer location. DH just thinks I should "push through the pain" and not pump if there's not a convenient time, but I think that's a horrible idea.

Anyway, since DH works for an airline, he had the idea that he and LO could fly out and stay at the hotel with me. I think this is a bad idea because I'll be having dinners with the project team, I want to stay focused on the project, I don't want them to think that my attention is divided, I'm planning to share a rental car with my colleagues, I don't want to be getting up with LO during the night, etc. Plus, I feel somewhat guilty leaving LO and DH at home, but I would feel even worse if they were there and I just ignored them and didn't spend time with them. Please someone tell me I'm right!

And if you have any other tips for business travel or pumping while away, I'd love to hear them. Thanks!

ChicagoWeded2007

Hi, you can't just skip pumping.  It will be super painful, like unbelievably painful.  Also, you are setting yourself up for clogged ducts and infection.  Lastly, your body will start producing less milk if it thinks you don't need it.

I wouldn't mind having my husband and baby come with us if they could entertain themselves during the day and when I was busy at night.  But it wouldn't be necessary.  But I see you don't want to do that.  Totally understandable.  It would be hard to balance.

meganandchase

Don't skip pumping.  You may have to reduce the number of times you pump and then work later to get your supply back.  I'm an engineer too.  I'm sure it's better than it used to be, but I often feel there is a belief that you are a woman and probably not as good of an engineer as a man.  I think that having your child there is a big mistake.  It is hard to leave them  I KNOW it is hard to leave them.  Emotionally on you and physically on DH.  But in the long run, it is much better for everyone.  

Your DH seems to be contradicting himself.  On one hand, he doesn't want you to pump, presumably because he thinks it is unprofessional.  On the other hand, he wants to bring your kid out there, distracting you from business and liley resulting in poor sleeping for you.  Not good! 

rockychryslerb2010

Men are clueless sometimes!  You will not be able to not pump.  You can get away with pumping later or not as often, but you will have to pump.  I travel a bunch and once my supply was established, I had more flexibility, but I absolutely could not go longer than 5 hrs.  Your breasts will be rock solid and extremely painful.  You may also leak, also not a good thing in the middle of meetings.  You may have to respond to emails or eat lunch at the same time, but you need to be able to find 15-20 min every 4-5 hrs to pump.  You may want to look into a manual pump, I always traveled with one.  Target has the medela harmony for about $30, works amazing and I've used in it airport, on the plane, in bathrooms, on a train, etc.  Everyone is different, but I still had good output with the manual pump.

As for baby and husband accompanying you, that would depend on your schedule.  When I travel, I'm busy from 7am until late at night, so there would be no point.  If you have a more relaxed schedule and could meet for lunch, have evening frees, then I'd say do it.  If not, bringing baby will just add additional stress and complicate an already complicated situation.  

mittensonkittens

I'm an engineer too, and I've had to pump on business trips to remote test sites and other office facilities, and all have been trips sharing cars with men. At the start of the trip I tell the guys that I need to pump every few hours, and I'll disappear at times. And I don't mention it again. They have always been very understanding, even the single guys. I put my pump in a backpack and bring a collapsible cooler bag and ziplocks for ice. I bring a battery pack, car adapter, and plug, as well as a nursing cover to be prepared for pumping anywhere. In office buildings, I walk the halls at the start of the day and find a woman, then explain that I'm visiting and need to pump breast milk. If they can't help, they direct me to someone who can. I also ask if they have a fridge or ice. If all else fails, I use the car. I've never had to dump the milk, but that is an option too. As far as scheduling pumping when you have meetings all day, I would adjust my pumping timing an hour earlier or later to try to match breaks so I don't miss as much. Pumping while traveling is a pain, but not pumping isn't a good idea. Tell your DH to try sitting through a meeting with someone squeezing his testicles while a big wet spot develops on his clothes, and then spend a week in pain recovering from the experience.

azuremama

I always read that even if you can only pump for 5 minutes, it's better than nothing.  Have all your stuff ready so that you can pump at a moment's notice if you need to.

Maebb

Thanks for the replies! I was never considering DH's suggestion to not pump. He doesn't understand the pain or leakage issue, and he also doesn't see the issue with supply. I've had supply problems since DS was born, so I definitely don't want to do anything to make that worse.

This trip is only 2 nights, but the project is 16 weeks long, so I'll have to come out multiple times. At least in the beginning, it will probably be long nights of client dinners and then project work with our internal team, so it would not be good for DH and DS to join me.

I'm not excited about being away, but this is my first opportunity as a project lead, so I want to do well. The customer initially requested that we work onsite throughout the whole project, but we set expectations that we'll probably work remotely with trips to the client location once per month.

Nechie122

One of the big benefits of business travel, for me at least, has always been the opportunity to throw myself into work in a way that I usually can't now that I'm a mom. And that means working long hours, going out to happy hour and client dinners, keeping "adult" hours ... without worrying about my child.

It's so freeing. And important from a career perspective. So I'd say you're right on this one and your DH should sit this one out. Is he getting cold feet about watching the baby by himself? I know my DH was really nervous for my first business trip but it was fine.