Intro

TimesInfinity9

Can't believe I'm here...but here goes. Two weeks ago on May 17th (at 21 weeks) we went for an ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby. Instead we found out there was no heartbeat. My baby had died over 3 weeks earlier and I didn't even know it. I got no answers about the cause but that seems to be pretty common when I read some of your stories.

I haven't figured out yet how to answer the question "How are you doing?' when somebody asks me for an update. My baby died 2 weeks ago but I'm just peachy, thanks for asking *sarcasm. I usually just say that I'm doing ok considering the situation and thank them for checking on me. I know they are genuinely concerned but I don't know if they want to hear the truth.

I just wanted to say that as much as I hate to be a part of "this group", you ladies all seem really awesome and supportive and I'm looking forward to being a part of that. I'm so sorry to read about everybody else's losses but its nice to not feel so alone in this.

amandager99

I am so sorry you have to join. I myself have been here just a few days after suffering our loss this past Saturday. It is horrible that any of us have to be here, but I can't tell you how comforting its been to me to be with a group of women who do know how I feel.

Noethola

We hate the reason we have to welcome you here, but do welcome you with open arms. Please lean on these ladies any time you need to. It may not always be the fastest moving board, but it is full of wonderful parents. I am so very sorry that you lost your LO. Wish I could give you a hug!

PerkyErky

I am sorry for your loss. And I am sorry to welcome you here, but welcome. I found the people who ask how I am doing I appreciate more than the ones who ignore or avoid me. It sucks, it really does. But it is fine to say something like "I am doing alright at the moment all things considered." "Today is a hard day, but I am hopeful tomorrow will be better" etc. And if they ask, it is ok to say "I am not ok today". Big hugs to you.

oliversmom03

I am so sorry for your loss, and I know you can't answer people when they ask you how you're doing. You want to look at them and slap them. Please come here when you feel the need to do so. We all know how you feel. 

shandorfml2

I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome you to the board. Stillbirth is more common than people know, unfortunately. I read in one of the pamphlets I received it's 1 out of 200. My advice for when people ask how you are doing is to be completely honest. It is also ok to be angry. I went through a pretty long angry phase, and that is ok! feel your feelings, don't stuff them.

(((hugs))))

Williamandshawnna

I am so sorry for your loss. You have found a great group of ladies to help support you. I found myself telling some people the whole truth and others I would sugar coat it. You will find what works best for you, and just go with it. Be gentle on yourself during this tough time. The hurt never goes away, but it does get a little easier as time goes on.

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***

 

 

I hate that you're joining us, but you are definitely joining a very supportive community. I lost my son back in August, and I wouldn't have made it through without this board. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle for yourself, and lean on us when you need to. *hugs* 

cawettig

I am sorry that you have to be here with us. This group is my support system right now, I hope we can be as much as a support to you as it is to me. I hate it too when people ask me how I am doing... do they really want to know the truth? That I am barely making it day by day? I just say "I am upright right now" in my way it is saying that I am trying to make it and I am out of bed. Each time someone says that to me (lately it has been about ten times a day with going back to work) its like a stab to the heart. 

Dixon813

TimesInfinity9:

Can't believe I'm here...but here goes. Two weeks ago on May 17th (at 21 weeks) we went for an ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby. Instead we found out there was no heartbeat. My baby had died over 3 weeks earlier and I didn't even know it. I got no answers about the cause but that seems to be pretty common when I read some of your stories.

I haven't figured out yet how to answer the question "How are you doing?' when somebody asks me for an update. My baby died 2 weeks ago but I'm just peachy, thanks for asking *sarcasm. I usually just say that I'm doing ok considering the situation and thank them for checking on me. I know they are genuinely concerned but I don't know if they want to hear the truth.

I just wanted to say that as much as I hate to be a part of "this group", you ladies all seem really awesome and supportive and I'm looking forward to being a part of that. I'm so sorry to read about everybody else's losses but its nice to not feel so alone in this.

 

Ditto...so sorry for your loss

Heatherhah

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. We are all here when and if you need us. Huge hugs to you!

Heather

bunnybun4

I am so sorry for your loss but glad you have found such a great group for support.  At my AS they found something wrong with my baby and she died two weeks later.  Although we know why she died they don't know why her brain didn't form correctly...so I know how you feel about not knowing what happened.

I have found that being honest with my friends/family is the best way to respond to "how are you doing" questions.  that way I didn't feel as alone and like I was faking being ok.  saying something as simple as, "life is just really hard right now" can be enough to let them know that you aren't exactly "ok". 

((HUGS))

JessicaG220

I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine how hard it was for you, expecting to find out the baby's sex and instead finding out the heart stopped.  No matter what stage in pregnancy that we hear this news, it's devastating.  It's heartbreaking how many people have been through the same situation.  Fortunately, there are very supportive women on this board that will make you smile, cry, and appreciate the good things in life that we do have!  My thoughts are with you.