Take 2

AandStilltrying · May 2013

Well we had our second IUI after our loss in March. Super nervous that something will go wrong again. My DW is the one trying. We had our IUI Tuesday. Today she has felt mild cramping. I am pretty sure it is too early for implantation to occur, so maybe it is wishful thinking???

We are just so ready to meet our baby. I keep having the same dream about a little boy and a little girl...so I don't know!

Nervous about even seeing a BFP because last time we had one it went so wrong! Our HCG didn't double properly and after a few weeks we lost our lil one. So the same worry is there again.

We have one more vial left before we have to order more. So I am hoping that either this takes and is great, or if it doesn't, that it is uneventful at least. We ended up last time with D&C that didn't work, the Method. shot and then finally miscarried about 2 days before they were going to give her 2nd shot.

Opening up to some friends has really helped. We have worked on building a better support system which I think is helping this TWW.

This weekend unfortunately we are dealing with a broken HVAC unit that needs fixed!!! So we found out $6,000 to that and they can't put it in until Wed. The heat index here is going to be 95 tomorrow! Gotta love NC Heat!

So I guess I am quickly watching the savings account go down! Cross your fingers everybody!

saintjohnsons · May 2013

So sorry to hear about your recent loss and I totally understand your anxiety. I just got my BFP and, after a few moments of elation, of course the worry set in that I'll lose it. The sperm supply issues only add worry on top of worry. Seems like more are available though, right? We had to pick a new donor after a few icis because all his spunk got bought up! I'm hoping the best for you both. Stay cool stay optimistic!

2MamazInSeattle · May 2013

Oh this is hard stuff. The TTCAL/ PAGL boards are a great place to hang out with other women who are TTC or are pregnant after a loss.

There are also (sadly) a good batch of us loss moms here on LGBT - three I can think of off the top of my head who are carrying their rainbow babies now!

I haven't been able to do another cycle yet since our March loss but have a FET planned for July, and no doubt the BFP is only the first hurdle but obviously a necessary step to a take-home baby!

Try to relax and trust things will go differently, even though I'll be needing that advice myself soon .

mollykelley · May 2013

The TWW is the worst... especially if you have already had your dreams crushed with a loss. It can be hard to stay positive in attitude, but don't give up on this cycle yet (and try not worry about future tries, sperm, etc.) When you get your "rainbow baby" (a baby after a loss - after rain comes the rainbow!) you will be so in love with it... Try to be there for each other and know that it can be hard and scary along the way, but that you won't give up until you have your baby in your arms.