WWYD: sister in law drama

JustcallmeGG2

You may remember that my brother and sister in law are going through a divorce after only being married 9 months.  She kind of sprung it on him and he has been crushed.

Her and I used to be good friends and she was so amazing with the babies.  I have been saddened at the fact of losing her, but she DID royally screw over my brother.

So last night she called my bro and wanted to tell him that she had gifts for the babies.  He basically said ?F-U, my sister hates you, return them?.  I don?t like how my brother is using me and the babies as leverage to hurt her.

Now I know she is going to try to contact me in the next few weeks to try to drop them off and see the babies.  I am conflicted here.  I know she loves the babies so much, but does she deserve to see them and will this have to be in secret?  Obviously my brother would be pissed. 

I know you will probably say ?just don?t do it? but a part of me still misses her as well, even though it will never be the same.

ThePinkSuperhero

I think you should decline and say that given all the stuff that's going on, you don't really feel comfortable getting together.  You could always leave the door open to the future, although I don't know if that's necessary- it'll either be open or it won't be, and unfortunately, once you divorce somebody, you usually lose their family, so it's her loss.

lada85

Jessie11LU:

My brothers exgf just ripped my nephew right from under our entire family. I would never ever give her the time of day again but if it meant i could see my nephew again, i would do it. Your sil sees your kids as her niece and nephew, dont take that from her.

I agree 100. Yes your brother is hurting and that sucks. But she feels for your kids as family.

PaMommy02

ThePinkSuperhero:

I think you should decline and say that given all the stuff that's going on, you don't really feel comfortable getting together.nbsp; You could always leave the door open to the future, although I don't know if that's necessary it'll either be open or it won't be, and unfortunately, once you divorce somebody, you usually lose their family, so it's her loss.

I agree, it's not like they were even married that long, and your kids are babies so they won't even remember her. I'd say it would be different if they were married a long time and your kids were much older and knew her as their aunt...that's a different story. But given this situation it's probably best to cut ties out if respect for your bro. Good luck!

zyas

SweetLittleThing:

I agree.  Also, isn't she their godmother?  If you became friends with her, you need to at least let her see them one last time.  I know you've said your brother is very sensitive, but I'd stand firm on that if it were me.  

Super hard situation here but I agree with the above as well. And not every divorce means that you lose their family after. I was previously married and I still keep in contact with my ex- inlaws. I loved them and we were very close. They live in the same town as my parents and they keep in touch with each other. I hope to visit them when I return there in June actually.

Do whatever you feel is best. You say you miss her and she obviously misses you guys too. 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do