Am I being paranoid? — The Bump
Blended Families

Am I being paranoid?

I think BM is having ex parte communications with officers of the court.  Two examples stand out that give it away.

A couple of years ago, BM was supposed to do something ordered by the court.  She hadn't so we called the court to ask if we file a motion or contempt or both.  They transferred us to Self Help to get the necessary paperwork which arrived a week later.  But 2 days after we called the court, BM suddenly emailed DH out of the blue an update on what she was ordered to do, after almost a year after being ordered to do it. 

The second big example was a couple of weeks ago.  We had a hearing on Monday, May 6 and Saturday, May 11 she was talking to DH and said things that were in the court order dated May 22.  The things she said were word for word what was in the court order.

The latest court order was not favorable for one thing ($) to my DH.  Previously it had been ordered that they pay half and half of something.  This had never come up in court but it was suddenly in the court order that DH had to pay all of it.  It was never even requested by BM in court though!  

Do you think it is possible she has a friend that works there and is supplying her with information behind our backs?  If so, how do you think we prove it without pissing off the hearing officer?  Should we contact the judge and ask for a subpoena of phone and email records of the hearing officers staff between BM and them?  I am just lost.  But I might also be acting paranoid.  Ahhhh


Re: Am I being paranoid?

  • get a lawyer asap
  • bosoxybosoxy member
    250 Answers Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    image tifanico:

    Yes, get a lawyer!!

    If there any way that you can prove that what you mentioned was not discussed  during the hearing? That is freaking weird!

    We can order a transcript of the hearing to prove what she said was not said during the hearing.  Or at least I think we can.

    I'll talk to DH about getting a lawyer but the last two we had are the reason he is in this predicament.  I have been taking law classes because of it all (and because I want to).  In another year, I'll be in a better spot to help him, but in the meantime, my knowledge is limited.  We paid over $20,000 in 2008 to get no where except screwed so he avoids lawyers now.


  • image bosoxy:
    image tifanico:

    Yes, get a lawyer!!

    If there any way that you can prove that what you mentioned was not discussed  during the hearing? That is freaking weird!

    We can order a transcript of the hearing to prove what she said was not said during the hearing.  Or at least I think we can.

    I'll talk to DH about getting a lawyer but the last two we had are the reason he is in this predicament.  I have been taking law classes because of it all (and because I want to).  In another year, I'll be in a better spot to help him, but in the meantime, my knowledge is limited.  We paid over $20,000 in 2008 to get no where except screwed so he avoids lawyers now.

    this is just plain stupid
  • Did the order come from the judge, as in the judge listened to what everyone had to say and then decided what should be done, and you received that in the mail, or did your h and her agree upon what should be done and then it was prepared by her lawyer and the judge signed off on it?
  • Initially nothing was in the CO about splitting medical expenses, so since I was the insurance carrier, I was stuck with 100% of the bills. I wanted it to be split 50/50, so I said so in the CS hearing. Well, the hearing officer made it so that BD pays 75% and I pay 25%. I didn't ask for that, but it was done that way because of our incomes. Maybe your DH is covering 100% of whatever you're talking about because of income?

    Also, get a lawyer to investigate if BM is having ex parte communications with hearing officers of the court. If you suspect this is going on and you're not getting a lawyer, that's just plain stupid. Last time you got screwed by a lawyer - it happens. BD had a sh!t lawyer when we mediated our CO. Now that BD is having a custody battle over his DD with XG, he has the best lawyer in the area. Just because you get screwed once doesn't mean you steer clear of lawyers forever - that's just idiotic. I'm not trying to be offensive, I promise! 

    image
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