PAL CheckIn

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies.

Welcome to Friday PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.

I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!

Where are you in your PAL journey?

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

QOTW: How do you handle the statement, "at least you have [baby name]", or any other insensitive comment?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

karebear57

Where are you in your PAL journey?

It's been 19 months coming up on 20 months in a week.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

None right now.

QOTW: How do you handle the statement, "at least you have [baby name]", or any other insensitive comment?

I haven't had to hear that b.s. since losing Bri. My own sister would say that to me. But if anyone said that to me now I would want to make them hurt so much! I'd ask them if that's how they would still feel if they lost only one of their children.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I'm so pissed at dh right now. We've been trying the last 8 months and I was supposed to call to set up a time to check my progesterone level but now he wants to wait to ttc until after we get a house. I don't see that happening for at least another 5 or so years. I'm not getting any younger and neither are the boys. He actually yelled at me like I was being selfish or something. I so want to punch him in the throat so bad right now!!

lenya_35

Where are you in your PAL journey? It's been 3.5 months since we lost June.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? DD has been wanting to talk about babies a lot lately.  Last week we were at the beach and she was playing with an imaginary friend who she just so happened to name June.  We were pretending it was June's birthday and DD wanted me to sing happy birthday to her.  It utterly broke my heart, but at the same time I know that this is DD's way of trying to cope with the loss, so I let her do it.  I also overheard her telling a friend of mine "Mommy had a baby named June, but she's an angel now.  It's okay, though, I'm still her sister."  Once again, broke my heart, but I'm proud of her for coping as well as she has been.  I think the hardest thing is trying to help her sort through all her feelings without falling apart in front of her.  I don't mind crying in front of her, but I want to be able to support her and help her deal with everything as well.

QOTW: How do you handle the statement, "at least you have [baby name]", or any other insensitive comment? Where are you in your PAL journey?  I'm not very good at handling insensitive comments.  I pretty much just say "yeah, sure" and then clam up.  I really need to work on standing up for myself and letting people know when they say things that aren't ok.


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm actually feeling better, and I'm nervous that I'm going to fall completely apart again soon because I've been feeling too good lately.  Not sure if that makes sense, but I know that usually if I have a good day, the next is really bad.  And now I've had about four good days in a row, so I'm waiting for some really bad days to come along soon enough.  Sigh.

weddedwife

Hi ladies. I haven't posted in a while.

 Where are you in your PAL journey? 

It's been 19 months since Nathaniel died. 

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? 

Every time I meet another mom I dread the question, "Do you have any other children?" or something similar. I try to steer the subject away. It's so awkward. I'm tired of feeling on edge in every new conversation.

QOTW: How do you handle the statement, "at least you have [baby name]", or any other insensitive comment? 

A mom at my preschool, who has twin boys, said to me the other day, "You're so lucky you only have girls." I just didn't say anything at all. She doesn't know about my loss. It makes me so sad when people say things like that. They have no idea. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 

I'm not religious at all. But lately I've been wondering if Nathaniel is in heaven. I'd give anything to think that I'll see him again someday, and be with him. I'd do anything to make that happen, if it were even remotely possible. I don't know if it's possible to just make yourself have faith, but it really makes me sad to think that if I'm wrong, and he is in heaven, I might be giving up the chance to be with him. I know I'm rambling here and maybe this doesn't make any sense. But it has me thinking...you know?