Adult Only Weddings

MississippiCatfish

Mobile: Adult Only Weddings

If you had one, what were your reasons? Although I, of course, honor the couple's request, I don't really understand it. Unless its a super fancy or very intimate affair.

klgrh6

Ours was adult only 18 because that's what we wanted it was the best decision we made. We wanted everyone to enjoy the night open bar. It was a giant dance party Im glad we didnt have to worry about kids on the dance floor. It always helped cut down cost because we would have payed x amount of dollars regardless of them eating a full meal or not being old enough for booze. We provided babysitting at a nearby location for those who wanted it but only 4 kids were there out of maybe 20 kids not invited. We also choose not to have children in the wedding party.

mrsbhk22

Now that I have my own kids, I don't mind adult only weddings. Actually, I've only taken DS1 to 1 wedding ever. It was my BFF and she wanted him in pictures. Otherwise, I've always gotten a sitter or only one of us goes. I don't think it's fun to chase a child around when I want to be visiting with friends and celebrating the couple.

Personal preference though, no judgement when people bring their own kids. Except maybe when the invitation says no kids and someone calls and asks if they can be the exception. Inevitably, bride will feel guilty and say its ok then someone who had to find a sitter sees kids at the reception and gets pissed. That's happened to 3 of my friends!

Back to the main question. I think most people do it to save money.

LegallyBlonde217

We had adults only.  Our wedding was extremely formal and expensive.  DH has tons of cousins with young children.  We would have had at least 50 of them there, and we would have had to pay a ton of money for each of them.

MississippiCatfish

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I can see being more excited about this in a few years. For now, it's just such a pain with nursing. Sorry, but I'm just not bringing my breastpump...and I can't be gone all afternoon/night without it! Obviously, it's not about me and that's A ok.

MrsAB1316

Ours was adult only. The reception was held at a piano store/studio with a showroom that had lots of big expensive pianos. Plus, we had a Grateful Dead band and an open bar.

icedcoffeeluv

Ours was adult only. Our venue only held so many people and if we added kids we would have been well over that. I know my guests with kids wouldnt have wanted to bring them anyway. It was a night wedding and went late.

My flower girl and ring bearer were there for a little while and then left.

linzeek44

Our wedding was adult only by default. We only invited immediate family and grandparents.

When we had our bigger post wedding party, it was informal and kids were there.

cmumama

Ours was adult only.  Having kids of my own wasn't even on my radar at that point in my life and I honestly just didn't want any crying/cranky/tired kids around.  I wanted everyone to have fun, to drink, to dance, etc. and that's exactly what happened.  Everyone had so much fun.  Many people told me they were happy to leave their kids at home for the night.  If I was invited to a wedding today and kids were invited, I wouldn't bring mine.  I'd rather have the night alone with just DH.

mrsbhk22

MississippiCatfish:

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I can see being more excited about this in a few years. For now, it's just such a pain with nursing. Sorry, but I'm just not bringing my breastpump...and I can't be gone all afternoon/night without it! Obviously, it's not about me and that's A ok.

I was in a wedding when DS1 was still BFing. It was NBD to pump every 4 hrs or so. It's not like he was a newborn who needed fed every hour. It was WAY easier to drag around a pump to be used every 4 ish hrs for 10 minutes versus entertaining a kid.

Hyaline

Our wedding was formal, the reception was held in a mansion full of antiques and there was a pool outside--not a good/safe place for kids to run around in the first place, and, frankly, I wanted a grown-up event uninterrupted by crying, whining, and kids tearing around the dance floor while my friends were swinging out to Glenn Miller.  Had we done something casual, like an outdoor wedding followed by a chicken dinner?  Sure, kids welcome.  But sorry, no, your three year old or whatever is not an appropriate guest at a formal evening occasion.  There are places where I think it's ok to say kids don't really belong. 

To put it another way, DH and I go to military balls--these are kid-free events (sometimes a dad will bring a pre-teen/teenage daughter as his date, that's it) and I feel like our wedding was matched with those events in formality. 

We made an exception for nursing babies and I set the "kids" bar at under 12, since the pre-teen and teenagers among our family and friends were mature and could handle themselves.

Pokedot

We had an adult only wedding. The only children there were my 3 cousins and my niece. We decided to do this based on being at some pretty annoying weddings with tons of kids. Many of our friends have kids but were more than happy to leave them at home and enjoy a nice night out as a couple. I hate going to weddings were children are running around like crazy and causing issues. A friend a few years ago had tons of kids at hers and the whole time she had her father/daughter dance the kids were running around them and tugging on her dress. I was super annoyed for her. It seems like nowadays many people just expect others to discipline their kids when in public and I didn't want that at our wedding.

melody921

Considering today is my 5-year wedding anniversary, this is a very fitting post! With the exception of my cousin, who was nearly 14 at the time, we did not have kids at our wedding. We didn't want young banshees running around, being loud, touching the cake, etc. (I have small cousins who absolutely would have been doing all of these things).

I think that generally weddings are fancy affairs for adults. Kids cannot sit still long enough for the meal, and if it's a night wedding, it's pretty much their bedtime before the festivities get under way, which just sets them up for grouchiness. Even though DS was in my brother's wedding, he didn't stay for the reception. I don't personally think it's very fun or relaxing for the parents either if the kids are with them bc it's not like they can run around and be kids.

melody921

mrsbhk22:

MississippiCatfish:

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I can see being more excited about this in a few years. For now, it's just such a pain with nursing. Sorry, but I'm just not bringing my breastpump...and I can't be gone all afternoon/night without it! Obviously, it's not about me and that's A ok.

I was in a wedding when DS1 was still BFing. It was NBD to pump every 4 hrs or so. It's not like he was a newborn who needed fed every hour. It was WAY easier to drag around a pump to be used every 4 ish hrs for 10 minutes versus entertaining a kid.

Yeah, DH and I just went to an OOT wedding last weekend. I brought the pump, just as I would when I go to the office or travel for work. It was NBD at all. I pumped between the ceremony and the reception and was good until afterward.

MarisaKathleen

We didn't want kids at our wedding.  Plain and simple.  I think having kids at weddings is stupid.  The kids are almost always running around like lunatics, the parents are off somewhere drinking and not watching them and eventually someone's going to have a meltdown...It's usually a toss up between a drunk adult or an overtired kid. 

I'm sure there are exceptions to every situation.  I've never been to a casual outdoor type wedding, so that could be why.  All of the weddings I've been in, or been to have been more fancy.

Shazzie116

We kept ours 21+, had an open bar. It was an evening wedding, local to most people with kids so they weren't staying at hotels. It's just how we chose to do it.

We're going to a wedding tomorrow and it's an evening wedding, and we're staying at a hotel where the reception is. At first I was sad I couldn't bring L, but I know we'll have more fun, can drink and dance without worrying about her and bedtime.

kjskjs

We only allowed our niece and nephew, no other kids. We didn't want kids running around and screaming through any of it. My brother and SIL had kids at theirs and they ruined a ton of pictures and were running through the dance floor during the first dance and digging in the gifts. It was a nightmare.