DH is mad at me

pevila

He's not exactly mad, but he got offended with a comment I made this morning. I was telling him about my cousin who just had a baby, and I told him I was jealous of her because she gave birth naturally (I had an emergency c-section at 33 weeks). He said, "Are you jealous of THAT?," and then I said what I really feel: I'm bit jealous of her because her life seems perfect. It always has. We are only two months apart and we went to the same high school, so people compare us a lot. She's always been prettier, richer, more popular... It's not something I think about constantly, but when he asked me I answered with the truth. 

DH said that when I talked like that it hurt him because it meant that he wasn't enough for me to be happy, or that we don't have enough to make me happy.  That is totally not what I meant, I wouldn't change my family for anything, I just think that she must be happier than me. 

Do you sometimes feel like that?  

Mrs.Greg

Honestly, I don't blame him for being offended. To answer your question, I'm pretty happy with my life. We aren't rich, I'm not gorgeous and I don't have a ton of friends. But we can buy everything we need and most of the things we want, I think I'm pretty, I have a loving family, ILs who are wonderful and the friends I do have, mean a lot to me and I know the feeling is mutual. I think my life is pretty wonderful.

pevila

Mrs.Greg:

Honestly, I don't blame him for being offended. To answer your question, I'm pretty happy with my life. We aren't rich, I'm not gorgeous and I don't have a ton of friends. But we can buy everything we need and most of the things we want, I think I'm pretty, I have a loving family, ILs who are wonderful and the friends I do have, mean a lot to me and I know the feeling is mutual. I think my life is pretty wonderful.

I think my life is wonderful. I just think her life must be... more wonderful? It's not something I think about constantly, but when I do, I feel a bit jealous. 

rockyrollgirl

I understand both sides in this.

This is more about you seeing the grass being greener on the other side and your husband feeling crappy about it. This can go both ways really. I am sure your husband (maybe) has these feelings from time to time and I think you would feel hurt too if he went on about how "great" someone else's life must be. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but I would try to practice some self-reflection. You have a husband and family that loves you. This person might appear to be happier then you, but truth is, not everyone's life is perfect.

With that said.... I can relate. I feel this way about my little sister who just graduated highschool. My feelings are pretty superficial though and silly. She was admitted into a private university, she is very popular and very pretty. I was a MAJOR dork in highschool....okay I still am. I still love my little sister, but sometimes I hate her too. LOL okay I don't hate her. I hate myself for not having those things.

I also had an emergency c-section. I felt a little jealous of women that had stories similar to this: "My water broke and 30 minutes later, my baby was in my arms!". However, now.... I don't really care. My surgery and recovery was pretty pleasant, my daughter is healthy and thats all that matters to me.

It turns out that my sister who had a vaginal birth is actually jealous of the fact that I had a c-section. She is jealous that I am married and that breastfeeding came so easily to me. I think its silly, but it goes to show you a lot of people do feel this way.

I guess my point is. What you are feeling is very normal, but I would show your husband some love today .  

nekorayne

It kind of pissed me off that he thought you were crazy for wanting to have natural birth! Its a big deal for me and I have never got to do it so I totally get it. I have an inverted T scar from an emergency c/s I had with DS and I fought for my VBAC with DD, which turned into a CBAC. It hurts to want an experience and not get it, if it means something to you then he has no right to knock it. He may not get it but he should try to understand. 

As for the rest, I think we all feel that way at times. Depending on how you worded it I could see how it hurt his feelings but I think maybe he needs to realize that sometimes you just need to whine and need a hug...