How often visit to NICU?

Ms.Dbohannon

Hello ladies,

I am a FTM to 32 weekers twin girls. My girls were born 2 weeks ago and me and my H have been going to the hospital every other day. Sometimes I feel that is not enough, but our dilemma is that we stay 50 mins away from hospital and they way gas is going we just go every other day. I am starting to want to see them everyday but gas is holding me back a little. Should I feel guilty for not seeing them? I do call at least 3x  times a day the days we dont go. I guess what I am asking how often did you visit your baby in NICU? Is it ok just to visit every other day?

Brummy14

The right answer is to do what's right for you. I was a mess when I wasn't there, so I spent 8 hours a day there. Now, that would be nuts for some people, too little for others. We also had the 35 minute drive both ways, so that definitely takes a toll. Don't fell guilty about whatever decision you make. It's incredibly personal, as is the whole NICU journey. Thinking of you and your LOs!

Pips09

I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I know it's so hard to be away from them. You have to what works for you and your constraints. I went every day, but somedays I was there an hour or two, some days I was there most of the day, depending on what else I had to do, and when my ride could take me (I was depending on friends and family to drive me there because of my c-section, and my H would pick me up on his way home from work). Good luck with your babies!

SamJustice

When DS was in the NICU, we lived an hour away. I didn't drive and FI worked 60 hours a week. We lived too close to stay in the Ronald McDonald house, so we were only able to visit for a few hours every other day. It was terrible. The days I didn't get to be with him, I laid in bed, crying and pumping all day.

Because of that, we also never really got a chance to bond until he came home. My milk supply took a hit. I definitely don't miss those days. I would have gone and stayed all day everyday if I could.

TriciaandSean

My son was an hour away and I couldn't imagine not going every day. I would leave after rush hour every morning and get to the hospital around 10 am and stay until after his 8 pm feeding. I was breast feeding when I could so it was important to me to be with him as long as possible. My husband was working so he'd stop in sporadically during the day and every weekend we'd spend the day with him. For what it's worth my son was there for 3 weeks.

brachysira

Don't feel guilty.  You have to do what makes sense for you.  It was really nice for me to get a little sleep and get things a bit organized before my baby came home.  If you wanted to be there more, you might have rooming options so definitely ask.  I live about 7 blocks from the NICU, so I went every day.  I would say it was helpful as she was getting ready to come home to be there for as many feeds as possible because this was tough and it helped to be able to practice and get advice.  On the days you go, try to be involved and care for your baby, ask questions, and try to attend rounds if this is possible.  

ahollo02

Do not feel bad!! The answer to this is different for each person.am

We live about a half hour away from the hospital and I went everyday. Went for her 8am feeding and left after her 8pm feeding. I was a mess and would have slept on the rocking chair if they would have let me. BUT she was only in there for 2 weeks. I was the only mom that was there all of the time. In my 2 weeks, there are a few moms I did not see at all (unless they came and night!).

I got very friendly with a mom that had 30 week twins and she said its hard. The first couple days she was there all of the time but then it was every other day. She knew they would be there for a long time so she was trying to take of herself in the mean time. The stress and disappointment can get to you after a while she would say.

jcsntms06

With my first I was there every single day from 9 am. til 3 and then after dinner my hubby and I would go back to the hospital for a few more hours. My hubby would also head to hospital early in the morning to be with DD1 for a few hours before work. With my second, it got tricky, because we had another child at home. I would send my oldest to daycare and then head to the NICU from 9 til 3. Most evenings my hubby would go alone. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. You go as much as you can. Please don't feel guilty.

Congratulations on the birth of your girls. Praying for a short and uneventful NICU stay. 

flerlgirl

Do what you can. If every other day is what works best, that is totally fine. Your girls know they are loved and I think you're doing really great!

SBBBE

Congratulations.

We were able to go ever day but our circumstances were different than yours. Like others said do what is best for you and try not to feel guilty.

If people ask what you need, I wouldn't hesitate to say any kind of a gas gift card since it would help you to visit more often. Also talk to the NICU social worker to see if you qualify for help with gas or a closer place to stay. GL

Ms.Dbohannon

Thank you ladies I feel a little better and I think going every other day is gonna work best for me. I did try to do a Ronald McDonald house but I wasnt 50 miles away only 45 miles away booooo . When I am not there I do call at least 3x times a day just to check to make sure everything is ok. I am told by the staff they are pushing for a fathers day homecoming so that is not too long from now but if they can come home quicker that would be awesome. Yes you ladies are right I do need tome to rest, chill, and not over do it since I had a c section, I wanna be ready for them to come home. Thank you again ladies for your advice.:)