I sit here feeling the beginning cramping, I guess, of my natural miscarriage. I was 8 weeks last Friday when the doctor performed our 3 US in 2 weeks. We were cautiously optimistic as, at my early 6 weeks US doctor said it looks ectopic in the corner of the uterus and it was only measuring at 4 weeks. No fetal pole no heart beat. We went for bloodwork as a formality and sat all weekend thinking this was the end. On Monday she called saying blood work was measuring at 6 weeks and to go for another US. Miraculously tech saw a sac, fetal pole and heart beat all measuring correctly and in the center if the uterus. We were so happy. God is good. Well last Friday doctor measured baby at 6 weeks and there was no heart beat. The baby had only grown for two more days past last US.
Surprisingly I'm taking it ok. But we have been through this before. Our first pregnancy ended last May at 14 weeks, exactly a year ago today. We cried for days and days. I had a d and c. The next week I was still in pain and found out I needed another one. It was like living through it all over again.
We got pregnant again in September. We were so excited! Well I was. Hubby was a little numb. The next day we found out it was ectopic. Thankfully it was early enough and I just needed a methotrexate shot.
After genetic testing, HSG, progesterone, blood work and one round of clomid, April found us pregnant again. And this is where I am. Needless to say, I am tired of trying to be God. I am relying on my Lord to do with us what He wills. I know He didn't do this to us. I don't blame God at all. I question Him, but know that He will never allow us to go through something that we can't handle.