Do you ever have a hard time relating... your friends with kids who go to public school?

We've entered this new stage.  All of my oldest son's friends were in preschool last year and are getting ready to enter Kindergarten next year at the public school.  The families we have playdates with would only bring their little ones since the older ones were in school and it makes my oldest son upset that he is the oldest.

Anyways, I've just been having a hard time relating in general to the mothers at playgroups lately.  Just this morning I listened to all of them complain about how school is letting out and they don't know what they are going to do with their kids all summer, how they are looking forward to the fall already and summer hasn't even started, etc.  They were even talking about putting their kids in summer preschools or camps just so they wouldn't have to be home with them all day.

I just can't relate and often end up sitting by myself listening to the conversations since I have nothing to contribute.  I get that not every woman is cut out to be home with their kids all day long, but it makes me sad that it is such a dreadful idea for so many women.  I just don't get it.

I can't wait to get involved in our local homeschool co-op next year so I can meet more families like my own.  It would be nice to have mothers to bounce ideas off of and other families who can relate to what we are doing (and not complaining about having to be around their kids all day).


Re: Do you ever have a hard time relating...

  • We're not at that stage yet, but will be next year. :/

    Though I do often find myself on different sides of things. We are really picky about things like food/tv/things they can say/ect. Sometimes it is hard to be the hippie crunchy christian mom who doesn't want her kids to have cookies at 10 in the morning.  

    Maybe try to find another homeschool family that you can do play dates with?  

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  • Ritzy19Ritzy19 member

    Most of my friends have children that are younger than my oldest, so I haven't run into this personally yet.  However, I can totally sympathize with what you're saying though.  Sometimes I feel like my lifestyle makes it hard for me to connect with certain friends because we just don't share the same life ideals anymore.  It's nice that you have a local homeschooling group to get support from.  I'd like to find something local in my area as well. 

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  • My boys went to preschool this year it was only twice a week and Ds1 and his best friend are in the same class. I am sad about next year a bit since his buddy is going to be in public school. His mom is my best friend so we hangout constantly and our boys are really close. I really wanted her to homeschool and she considered it but decided not to. I do have some very close friends who currently homeschool though. Honestly I will miss my break two days a week but I can't imagine being away from my 5 year old 5 days a week for 8 hours! 
  • We have several public school friends that we reconnect with every summer but don't see a whole lot during the school year.   Other than that, our week to week interaction with kids our kids age is through our homeschool play group.  I've been a part of the group since J was 4 I think, so 3 years now.  It is such a good fit and the friendships we've all built with one another is the biggest blessing. 

    I found them on our local teaching parents association website( the homeschool website for our area).  The founding mom actually also reached out on Craigslist and some of us found the group that way.

    I'd urge you to find a small group to get into.  Ours is roughly 9 mamas with 2-3 kids each from 7 years old down, so very intimate and catered to the age group we are all a part of.  Co ops can be great too, but seem to me to be big and harder to make the intimate connections you can in smaller groups.  Our area co ops are huge though, we live in a city where homeschooling is wide spread, accepted and rooted.

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  • imageKLilley:

    Where do you live again, adamswife?

    West Central Ohio.  Out in the boonies :)

  • I don't homeschool yet (only have one and he is 18 months) so I might not be qualified to say this.  But, we fully plan to homeschool and it makes me SO sad when I hear friends with older kids complaining about school letting out soon.  It's weird to me.
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  • erbearerbear member

    this is a very judgmental post.

    FWIW, I work full time, but I'm free in the summer since I'm a teacher. I still put my kids in camp for 3 weeks, because they love it, love being with other kids and love being at "school".

    I hope you find some other people "like you". Sheesh. 

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  • imageerbear:

    this is a very judgmental post.

    FWIW, I work full time, but I'm free in the summer since I'm a teacher. I still put my kids in camp for 3 weeks, because they love it, love being with other kids and love being at "school".

    I hope you find some other people "like you". Sheesh. 

    I'm sorry that this is how you took the post. 

    FWIW, I think there is a huge difference between your reasoning for putting your kids in camps (because your kids love it and want to do it) and the reasoning the mothers I was talking about had (because they want their kids "out of their hair" for the summer).  I probably will put my kids in summer camps of some sort one day, and I will do it for the reasons you listed. 

    The point of my post was that I have a hard time relating to people who don't enjoy being around their kids and spend their time at the playground complaining about the fact that they have to spend their days with them for three months out of the year.  It just doesn't make sense to me and yes, I prefer to be around (and have my children hang around) mothers who actually enjoy their own children.

  • I think what you are trying to get at here is not people with children in public school, but people who act as though their children are nothing but burdens. Am I right?

    I had DD in preschool 3 days a week, we were struggling to connect because she was spending all of her positive energy at preschool, and when I got her "back" at the end of the day, she was a grumpy tired grouch, and it was REALLY hard. Everyone told me to put her in LONGER! The answer is even less time together at 4 years old. We literally had no fun time together.

    Many parents don't have the opportunity to observe the fun they can have with their children because they can get sucked into this "achievement" pipeline, where all that matters is "getting ahead," and they forget that kids are actually fun too.

    I KNOW that there are parents who love their children and wish that they could spend more time with them, but for whatever reason they just can't, and you know what, they are doing the best they can, and I have only positive energy to send their way.

    I agree, however, that parenting in this country has been massively permeated with this sense that children are nothing but a burden, and that people are just trying to get through it. And that is what makes me really sad. My kids are nowhere near angels, and they make me want to tear my hair out, not infrequently, but I know that the time I have with them is fleeting, and childhood is about having fun, not overscheduling or trying to win the elusive rat race. Sorry for being so rambly, sheesh! 


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