To tie or not to tie...

RebeccaMichael

I'm having a RCS in about a month and we are considering having my tubes tied then. We have always said two and I'm  95% confident in that decision, and my H is 200% confident in that decision. I just go back and forth and the part that stops me is just ending this "chapter" in my life. But I know we're done. I dunno, what helped0 you to definitely do it or just wait. If we decide to just wait it out, my H will be fixed.

So just wondering if anyone else is going back and forth or had their tubes tied during a RCS. What helped you make that decision. 

Thanks!

Soleil3

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200% for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter. 

Caitlin224

Soleil3:

If your H is 200% for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter. 

I agree with this answer! lol

DH and I are done so I am getting tied during my RCS.  I am like OP and I sometimes find it hard to think that I will have no more babies.  However, I am pretty sure it's just the idea of the finality of it, not the actual "no more babies."  

I QUICKLY am able to console myself by knowing I can get my pre-baby body back and keep it.

 

tokenhoser

Soleil3:

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200% for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter. 

If she's having a RCS, it won't add any time to her recovery at all. Why kick him in the nuts if she's already having surgery?

I'd just do it. 

Sam Buttons

Soleil3:

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200 for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter.nbsp;

This! Also, his can be reversed, not that that should really factor into your decision, since it is finite, but it may be nice to know that. Just in case.

Soleil3

tokenhoser:

Soleil3:

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200% for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter. 

If she's having a RCS, it won't add any time to her recovery at all. Why kick him in the nuts if she's already having surgery?

I'd just do it. 

You don't think so? How about the fact she isn't certain she is done having kids? That seems important to me, since its rarely reversible. 

tokenhoser

Soleil3:

tokenhoser:

Soleil3:

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200% for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter. 

If she's having a RCS, it won't add any time to her recovery at all. Why kick him in the nuts if she's already having surgery?

I'd just do it. 

You don't think so? How about the fact she isn't certain she is done having kids? That seems important to me, since its rarely reversible. 

Well, if her partner is VERY certain and she plans to keep him... then I guess her decision is made. She sounds sure, just sad. 

RebeccaMichael

tokenhoser:

Soleil3:

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200% for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter. 

If she's having a RCS, it won't add any time to her recovery at all. Why kick him in the nuts if she's already having surgery?

I'd just do it. 

 

Ummm..that's hilarious! Thanks ladies

 The dr did say it doesn't add any more recovery time. It's just so final, but I know we are done. I have a good feeling I'll end up doing it and H and I have had some good talks about it, but it's good to hear other's just to help my decision

skio

I could never do it if I were only 95 percent sure of it. It's rarely reversible. I think it could cause some major depressive issues if you do it now. Think about it some more.

Liz4444

I think it's an extremely personal decision that, when it comes down to it, and I know I'll get flamed for this, I don't even think it matters what your H wants.

For me, I am 200 percent done, DH would have more, but he knows I am unwilling to go through another pregnancy. If I end up needing a CS, I would have them do a tubal. As it stands, I don't, so I am getting Essure after I give birth.

Mrs. Mo

Liz4444:

I think it's an extremely personal decision that, when it comes down to it, and I know I'll get flamed for this, I don't even think it matters what your H wants. For me, I am 200 percent done, DH would have more, but he knows I am unwilling to go through another pregnancy. If I end up needing a CS, I would have them do a tubal. As it stands, I don't, so I am getting Essure after I give birth.

I agree with this.

OP: It's your body and a decision you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. The reality is that sh!t happens. Although you fully intend to be with this person for the rest of your life, would you regret getting them tied if something happened to your marriage (he runs off with another woman or something aweful happens to him) and you re-married? If you are 100% certain, fine, but if you are only 95% sure, I would think it over more.

Eleventy11

Sam Buttons:

Soleil3:

We are probably done and I could never get my tubes tied. If your H is 200 for it, have him get the surgery, it's so much less invasive and the recoup time is much much shorter.nbsp;

This! Also, his can be reversed, not that that should really factor into your decision, since it is finite, but it may be nice to know that. Just in case.

This! I couldn't deal with the finality of it with my RCS, even though it would have been easier on me and the pocketbook. DH will be getting clipped this summer. My fear is that something happens to one of our children, would I want another...a vasectomy still leaves that option open.

ceechie

Saying we were done at two and getting prego with twins. So, yes, I'm getting tied up now! And so is he!

MallardDucky

Check with your doc and your insurance, you might not have time to do it when you go in to your RCS.  With my insurance you have to sign documents at least 3 months before.  They want to make sure this is something you want.  So check with the and still if you still have time.

 

ScarletOflaherty

Mrs. Mo:

OP: It's your body and a decision you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. The reality is that sh!t happens. Although you fully intend to be with this person for the rest of your life, would you regret getting them tied if something happened to your marriage (he runs off with another woman or something aweful happens to him) and you re-married? If you are 100% certain, fine, but if you are only 95% sure, I would think it over more.

This, exactly. I am actually in that situation now in fact!

I thought I was done with #3(accident, ex didn't even want me to have him) and ex had a vasectomy. My DH now is COMPLETELY different from my ex, loves kids, and had none of his own, so here we are pregnant with his first, and considering one more afterwards.

8 years ago I thought I was done, but here we are. Life takes some funny turns  

rconrad0911

I swore up and down that we were done. DH was totally done, but once my youngest DS turned 2, I started feeling like I wasn't totally done. DH was NOT on board. It took about 6 months for him to make a decision and I was ok with that. I wanted him to be sure also. He finally agreed to having one more. It took 7 months and a lot of ups and downs, but I am so glad we decided to tr'y again because I would never have been pg with my baby girl! We are totally done now and DH is having a 'v' this summer!

Things can change. I wouldn't do it. I'm not good with totally permanent things like that unless it's for health reasons. 

Wannalitter

I sounds like mentally, you know you are done but its not just a logical decision. There is an emotional aspect too. If he is emotionally there as well as mentally, ask him to do it. Yea, it is asking him to endure some recovery time he doesn't necessarily "need" to but if it spares you the emotional recovery, that seems worth it.

Besides, you went through the pregnancy, had the c-section and probably handled the birth control before and between babies-its his turn.  

DesiRocha

I just met a woman yesterday, while leaving my OB appt, who regretted having her tubes tied is trying for a reversal. I would never tie my tubes, unless medically necessary. Everyone changes their minds and their opinions as they age, you have no idea how you might feel in a few years from now. If you're H is so sure, then I agree with the first comment- have him get the surgery. 

rissa06

They say that if you were to win the lottery and have every care taken care if, would u still want another child?  If you answer yes to that question, they say ten u aren't ready to tie.  So, when u ask me, I say yes.  When you ask my husband he says the lottery would made no difference in his decision.

with that said, my husband and I talked about the same thing.  It's a hard decision... The emotional aspects is that this chapter will be closed seems so final to me, even though I don't think can handle any more kids.  It is a struggle.