XP: Would this bother you?
IBackBevo
member
So DH and I left LO with my in-laws over the holiday weekend at a trailer they have up on a lake here in Texas while we stayed in a hotel nearby. During the day, we were around LO and in-laws. On the second day, in-laws mentioned that they had taken LO out on their golf-cart driving around. The problem is, the roads around the property where they stay were insanely busy this weekend. There is a gas station directly across from the property. The road feeds into a state park where there is a boat launch and there was a fishing tournament going on this weekend. (This is probably one of the top 10-15 fishing lakes in the country.) The road also feeds into two campgrounds. Both campgrounds were completely full. In other words, there were a ton of people driving their huge trucks pulling boats or campers up and down that road...and some of them probably drinking. The road is very narrow and curvy and heavily wooded. All it takes is one person taking a curve too fast and hitting that golf cart and LO is now splattered on someone's windshield. I'm pretty sure taking an 8.5 month old on a golf cart (unrestrained with no helmet) on a busy road isn't even legal much less a good idea.
There is more backstory that I won't go into, but suffice it to say FIL has been very disrespectful of me in the past. Accordingly, I ask DH to ask his parents not to take LO on the golf cart again out on this busy road. When in-laws talk about taking LO out on the golf cart again, DH does not say anything. When I talk to him about it later, he then says something to them but makes me the fall guy and seem like I'm being an overly protective parent. Of course, the in-laws acted like I was being ridiculous.
Do you think it is okay to take an 8.5 month old out on a golf cart just holding him in your lap on the road I described above?
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Re: XP: Would this bother you?
I don't think that's acceptable either. But really, it doesn't matter what we think... your mommy intuition is screaming that it's dangerous so definately put a stop to it! When it comes to being an advocate for your kid it really doesn't matter what the ILs think, right?
Just ask yourself, how would you feel if something happened to LO? Just do whatever you have to do to make sure it doesn't happen again!
DH ultimately told them not to take him out on it again, but he said it like, "[My name] doesn't want you to take him out on the golf cart again."
Here is what happened: In laws kept him the first night we were at the lake. Apparently, that evening, they took him out riding around on the golf cart. the next day, when we saw them, they talked about taking him out on it. I was shocked. I said something about it to DH when the in-laws were not around and said that he needed to let them know this was not okay. (There is a past history of being issues between DH's father and me. Basically, his dad shows me no respect whatsoever. I can't say anything to him because it will just turn into an argument...hence, why I didn't immediately say, "Don't do that." It would have started WW III coming from me and ruined the entire weekend. I wanted it to come from DH because FIL will respect something coming from DH, but will not respect anything coming from me.) Later on, the in-laws brought it up again saying, "Oh, LO just loved riding on the golf cart with the wind in his hair, blah, blah, blah. We are going to take him out again later." DH said nothing even after reluctantly agreeing to say something to them! Then, as we left that evening and DH and I were alone in the car, I told him that I didn't appreciate him not saying anything to his parents and that he needed to call them up and tell them he did not want them taking LO out in the golf cart. DH then immediately turned around and told his parents "[My name] doesn't want you taking him out on the golf cart." I felt like how DH handled this entire matter was bullsh*t. We've had problems with them in the past. We've even been to counseling because of the problems FIL has created in our relationship. The counselor always advised us that anyting *correcting* FIL needs to come from DH because DH is the child. I was not about to let the issue go and if DH had refused to say something to them then I ultimately would have, but I felt like I needed to give DH the opportunity to handle it himself.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Both issues -- your ILs taking LO in the golf cart + your husband not being on the same page with your handling your FIL -- would bother me immensely. And I would not ride with my DS in my lap in a golf cart.
If it was me, I wouldn't leave my LO with my ILs -- they obviously make poor decisions. I'm pretty picky who gets to care for my LO, and my MIL isn't one of them. She has some serious mobility problems and also makes poor judgement, so LO is with her supervised by us.
Also, I've had some run-ons with DH about safety issues and get called overprotective by him, but I'm happy to be overprotective than have a hurt or worse baby.
Hope things improve on your front. <<hugs!>>
This. And I agree with pps. Your H needs to freakin' man up already. My MIL kept comparing my son to a cousin of his, and it hurt pretty bad. I asked DH to say something, and it took him 2 weeks to finally do it, so I know what it's like to try to get DH to do SOMEthing. Good luck!
BFP: 3/15/12 EDD: 11/25/12 DOB: 11/12/12