WWYD

tigerlynx31413 · May 2013

My mom is retired and watches DD whenever minr and DH's work schedules overlap. Dh and my mom seem to be butting heads more recently about things that he and I already decided about raising dd, ie no tv until 2 unless its hockey or animal planet and no belly sleeping. They always seem to argue when I am not around. I know she is my mom and I should handle the conversations, but I'm convinced they need addressed by DH when it occurs not hours later. What do you think?

cottingham3 · May 2013

It is your job to handle the situation. It is your job to decide WITH dh about these things and expect any caregiver to repect decisions you guys have made for your family. If your mother cannot respect the decision then she should not be watching your LO because she is ultimately dispecting your family and undermining your authority. I realize this may be the easiest child care solution.. but if this cannot be resolved then you should realize easy is not alway BEST! IMO you should be thankful he is not starting a confrontation with your mom and respecting your realtionship with her enough to let you handle it.

At my house we are thankful for the help our families give us. We do have some strict ground rules but appreciate that we are asking our parents to bring our children into THEIR homes where there may be slightly different rules. For example, our kids stay up later when they are at his parents than at home. Also, we have a strict...eat what momma cooks...policy at hone but my mom's is more like a waffle house with orders being shouted and cooked on demand. We let this differences slide. However, we would never allow the baby to be put to sleep on his belly or the big kids watch movies or tv we have not approved...these are nonnegotiable.

I wish you and DH the best with this situation. I underetand because I have the opinionated Mom from heck qnd I have had to deal with her and DH for 15 years!

ninambutler · May 2013

I do understand where you're coming from but sometimes when grandma watches its just different. I wouldn't take offense. Grandparents don't have to be strict, they get to be fun! They stay up later, watch more tv, eat what they want, and have lots of fun. I don't think the belly sleeping is negotiable though. I think this may be a pick your battles thing. I also think that these things can wait for you. It shouldn't be DHs responsibility. You don't want to put strain on that relationship. Good luck!