Working FT and BFing--did I do something wrong?

shlittertoots

Hi, I'm a FT working mom to a 7 month old who suddenly doesn't want to nurse.  The only time in the past two weeks that she nurses is if she's asleep.  This all started a little over two weeks ago when she was just getting over a cold and starting to teethe.  I attributed her nursing strike to the cold and teething, but once she got better and two teeth appeared, she STILL refuses to nurse.  Now I'm pretty sure she just prefers the bottle over the boob.  She gets bottles all day while I work, but we never had a problem before--she would nurse at night and on the weekends fine.  Now she only wants her feedings via bottle.  It's not possible for me to avoid bottles entirely since I work, and I know I can keep pumping in order to give her BM, but pumping is starting to take over and I really miss the bonding and convenience of nursing

I've tried all the suggestions of my LC and online--different nursing positions, in the dark, offering her to nurse frequently, trying a nipple shield,etc., but nothing has worked.  She's only ever had the slowest flow of nipple. Is this just the nature of working FT and LO getting bottle-fed all day at daycare?  I keep reading that babies don't self wean before 18 months, but she's only 7 months and wants nothing to do with my boobs.  I don't know whether I should just throw in the towel and EP for the next 5 months, or keep trying to see if she'll resume nursing...

Do any of you all have any experience with this?  Had any trouble with your child preferring bottles over breast?  I feel like I'm the only one who is having this trouble out of all the working BFing moms I know (which aren't many, that's why I thought to post here ), so it makes me feel like I did or am doing something wrong to turn her away (like did I make a mistake giving her a paci?  Should I have given her different bottles?) I've posted on the breastfeeding board but didn't get many responses, so I thought I could find some advice or shared experiences here.  I guess I just don't want to feel alone in this so I'll stop beating myself up!  TIA.

financialdiva

I never had this issue with DS1 [nursed for 14 months] but notice that DS2 is starting to get very very impatient with the boob. If my letdown isn't quick, DS2 gets pissed. Hopefully he doesn't start preferring the bottle over me!

Is she latching? Is it bc your letdown is taking too long? Maybe try pumping and as soon as you letdown, latch her on? Or manually express some onto her lips or into her mouth to see if she will latch?

I hope someone else has more advice for you. GL!

QueSrah

I haven't had your particular experience, but "keep trying"  seems like a good idea.  Any chance she is still teething, or is going through some developmental change where she's more distracted?  But if you're fed up with the struggle, it's ok to switch to EPing, or even switching to formula if that's what works for you. 

DD self-weaned at 10.5 months (and I was quite happy to stop), so don't feel like *all* babies shouldn't/can't/won't self-wean before 18 months.  There are too may ways to beat yourself up that you did something wrong, but in the end you will have a happy, well-fed kid whatever you are doing.  That's the important part.  I had struggles and stress over BFing the whole time for various reasons, and now (three years later) I'm just happy to have a healthy kid.  I wish I had cut myself more slack back then.

kcircell

You didn't do anything wrong.  It is so hard being a BFing and FT Working mom. Nature made our bodies to breastfeed not to pump.  I would say just keep offering.  At 11 months my LO just kind of stop nursing and my production was slowing too so we switched over to formula for the last little bit.  Around 6 months mine became just a bear to nurse all squirmy and distracted.  I often referred to it as wresting a baby crocodile.

 

Whatever happens you'll find the best combination of nursing, pumping, bottles for your family I promise. 

shlittertoots

Thanks for the responses!  She won't even latch.  I get her on my lap and into a nursing position and she either just turns away, or starts fussing a crying.  She won't open her mouth for me to get her latched.  Only if she's half asleep does she latch and nurse.

I have been giving her bottles on the nights and weekends when we are together, solely because I don't want her to go hungry (and MH doesn't believe I shouldn't feed her).  I had been given the suggestion of not feeding her a bottle period (this would have to be a weekend, because I can't be up all night during the week waiting for her to "give in" to nursing) until she got so hungry that she would nurse...but I don't think I feel comfortable doing this.  I know she won't starve, but even when we had a good nursing relationship, if she got overly hungry, she wouldn't be patient enough to nurse and would get hysterical, so I would give her an oz or two by bottle in order to take the edge off her hunger and nurse.  But the bottle to boob switcheroo doesn't work anymore, and I'm scared of being to pushy and giving her a full blown aversion.  Has anyone had any luck trying this?  I'm scared that it still wouldn't work and then she wouldn't trust me anymore...

shlittertoots

kcircell:

You didn't do anything wrong.  It is so hard being a BFing and FT Working mom. Nature made our bodies to breastfeed not to pump.  I would say just keep offering.  At 11 months my LO just kind of stop nursing and my production was slowing too so we switched over to formula for the last little bit.  Around 6 months mine became just a bear to nurse all squirmy and distracted.  I often referred to it as wresting a baby crocodile.

 

Whatever happens you'll find the best combination of nursing, pumping, bottles for your family I promise. 

This is her exactly!  I called it trying to nurse an angry badger.  But now she won't even latch, she starts getting really squirmy and fussy when I put her on the Boppy or on my lap to try and nurse. 

mittensonkittens

I had a similar problem with DS2, and I had to trick him into nursing again. At bedtime I rocked him and let him fall asleep drinking a bottle. When he was just falling askeep, I pulled out the bottle and inserted my nipple. He latched on and started nursing, still half asleep. The next morning he must have remembered it to some extent, and I was able to get him to nurse again.

Also, do you use slow flow nipples on the bottles? He might prefer the faster flow of the bottle and get impatient with the breast.

jetgrrrl

I had a very similar situation with each of my LOs, and  it did signal the winding down of nursing for me. I did switch my LOs to faster-flow nipples as they got bigger, because we were doing a nanny share and the nanny requested it - she had two babies she had to feed by herself and they were both taking forever, so I couldn't really fault her for that. I think that may have had to do with why my boys both became impatient with the slower flow of the breast. Around seven months with both I also saw my supply tail off, despite frequent pumping, despite "power pumping" despite supplements and despite getting up in the middle of the night to pump even though they were sleeping through the night. At nine months I finally gave up with both of them. It seemed to be much more upsetting for me than for them :-)

With LO #2, one LC told me that I should get naked and cuddle with him in bed or the bath all day to re-stimulate supply and nursing. I was like, how am I going to do that, strap him to my chest? He was just way too active and getting him on the breast became a constant struggle. I finally decided it was best for him and for me to move on. I just couldn't handle working a full-time stressful job and trying to force my kid onto my breast at home. I hope you find a way to get past this problem and continue nursing if it's what you want to do, but I would also say that you shouldn't beat yourself up if you don't.

shlittertoots

Thanks--I'll try the side lying and the bottle feeding sitting upright.  She uses the slow flow nipples, and I'm starting to use the Breastflow bottles with the slow nipples.  I heard that this is a little harder to eat than a normal bottle, so we'll see.  I do the bait and switch with a bottle every night, that's the only way I can get her to nurse.  But she only nurses for a few minutes before falling asleep.  But if I try and latch her on right away, she just cries and won't eat.

BeckyTheEngineer

My 2nd alternated every so often of refusing a bottle for a week, or refusing to nurse. I would stick it out and keep offering whatever wasn't working first, and eventually give her what she wanted. After a week or so, she would go back to normal.

DiveFrog

Starting about the same age I had to go to exclusively nursing side lying, and preferably in a dark, quiet room. DD was just way to distracted in any other position, or if people/noise was around.

7-8months was alos when she dropped a nursing session so I went from nursing her 3 times after I got home from work to just 2. And on the weekends was nursing 5-6 times instead of 8. All due to increased solids intake. She dropped down again at around 10months.

pitterpatter129

If it seems like a bottle preference, she is old enough that you might try sippy cups at daycare instead of bottles...  Hope it works out!

 

erbear

Sounds like a nursing strike. Both of my girls did it around 7 months. Keep offering - it lasted about a week for mine.

shlittertoots

Thanks again for ideas.  I'm going to try a cup.  The sippy we have has a spout that she has to bite and suck, so I think that is too similar to a bottle.  She nursed tonight after eating 2 oz, and she's sick and not eating much during the day at grandma's because she's sick, so I will probably have to nurse her in the MOTN.  Which I would dread before, but I'm hoping the more I nurse, the sooner she'll start nursing on her own.  At least that's what I tell myself when I'm exhausted and nursing her at night!

Red_Dahlia

My dd did this and it turned out that she just didn't want to wait for the let down. So I'd lay down in a quiet room, relax and get a let down on my own, then latch her on and she'd nurse just fine. It was a total pita, but it allowed us to continue nursing nights and weekends until 13 months.