When to start time outs

oliversmommy32912

What is the right age to start time outs? I have a 14 month old. I always thought 14 months is really too young to "get" time outs but would it be too soon to start getting him used to the concept? I'm not talking about putting him in a corner and leaving him for any period of time, I'm more talking about removing him from the situation and putting him somewhere he doesn't want to be (ie up against the wall), making him stay there for a few seconds, and then redirecting him to another activity. 

Today he was touching an outlet and I told him no and asked him to come to me. He smiled and touched it again so I picked him up and sat him against the wall and told him gently but  firmly "Mommy said no, we do not touch the outlet." I held him there for about eight seconds while he cried and then I picked him up, hugged him, and then told him again, "Mommy said no, we do not touch the outlet". Then I took him to play with his books. A few minutes later he went to the outlet again and looked at me. I said "No." and he looked at it and walked away.

Am I being ridiculous to even be thinking about time outs this early or does it sound like he is ready to start venturing into that territory? (For the record, our outlets are child proof, so there is no possible way for him to have been hurt by touching the outlet. I just want him to know it's something he can't touch when we go to other houses.)

chicsahm

That smile and do it again is normal response... my Dr. would always ask if he smiles when we say "no don't touch" he is learning, and pushing limits and starting to test his independence. I would say "no, we do not touch" in a firm voice and redirect.. they get it, they just want to re test you and do what "they" want to do. DS knows not to touch remotes and sometimes he sees and ignores and other times he goes for it while looking out for me because he knows he is not supposed to play with them. When he sees me walking towards him he throws a fit because he knows he shouldn't play with them but wants to. This is such a tough age! DS is now 16 months and has started his "tantrums" and even starting to whack at me or the dogs when he is mad.... this behavior is not ok and he either goes into his crib until he calms down or yesterday I sat him towards the wall and walked out of the room.... he finished his fit and started playing nice. So in a way, those are our "time-outs" but I feel that for a "real" time-out (sit in chair or on rug for a min or 2) he won't get until he is older. I redirect.

namara5532

"The Happiest Toddler on the Block" talks about how a toddler as young as 15 months can understand timeout, but it also doesn't advocate time-out as the best discipline method.  It talks more about communication and redirection.

Myself, I count to 3 and say "no bite" if he's doing something like biting my ipod.  If I get to 3, he gets it taken away. If he's biting me, I say "ouch!  No bite!" and put him down.  Although DS is testing his limits, he isn't doing anything out of spite yet, such as throwing things at me when he's mad.  I probably won't start time-out until he's 2 or so.  But because he knows a lot of words right now, most of the time I can get him to stop by telling him to (and counting if he's testing limits).

oliversmommy32912

Kimbus22:

I've been trying since about 18 months and my kid still doesn't really get it.nbsp; He knows he doesn't like it but I don't think he's really making the connection yet.nbsp; I've had better luck with natural consequences at this age.Many doctors don't recommend TO until 23 years old.

We try to do natural consequences as much as possible. I'm hoping we will only have to do time outs for dangerous stuff or real defiance, and he obviously isn't being intentionally defiant at this age. Well, it's intentional boundary pushing for sure, but not like an older child.

On another note, how the heck do you all keep from laughing when you're trying to be serious and tell them no? I'm sure I'm not the only one whose kid does really funny things when he's "in trouble". Yesterday he was trying to smash the keys on my keyboard and I told him "no no buddy" and put my hand in his way so he couldn't reach. He then took my hand, put it on the couch and covered it with his hand, looked right at me, and said "no no no no". I about died. I tried so hard to keep a straight face but then he started laughing and I couldn't help but crack a smile.

oliversmommy32912

chicsahm:

That smile and do it again is normal response... my Dr. would always ask if he smiles when we say "no don't touch" he is learning, and pushing limits and starting to test his independence. I would say "no, we do not touch" in a firm voice and redirect.. they get it, they just want to re test you and do what "they" want to do. DS knows not to touch remotes and sometimes he sees and ignores and other times he goes for it while looking out for me because he knows he is not supposed to play with them. When he sees me walking towards him he throws a fit because he knows he shouldn't play with them but wants to. This is such a tough age! DS is now 16 months and has started his "tantrums" and even starting to whack at me or the dogs when he is mad.... this behavior is not ok and he either goes into his crib until he calms down or yesterday I sat him towards the wall and walked out of the room.... he finished his fit and started playing nice. So in a way, those are our "timeouts" but I feel that for a "real" timeout sit in chair or on rug for a min or 2 he won't get until he is older. I redirect.

Thankfully we have not hit the hitting phase yet. He did bite me once but I think my response scared him because he hasn't tried it again. I yelled out and pulled away really fast because it hurt. He does throw at least a dozen tantrums a day but they're still kind of cute. I'm sure they won't be for long!