Disapointed

Km672

We were planning our DE/DS cycle this summer, but we just backed out because we lost trust in our egg donor.

We have waited literally a month for contracts to be done and paperwork from our donor to be completed. I emailed the coordinator to tell her I was getting concerned. She admitted she was too because her calls to the donor the previous week were not returned.

I spoke with my husband and we decided we are no longer comfortable with this donor. We have decided we are going to choose a new, but experienced donor in order to try to avoid a repeat of this. I understand that both inexperienced and experienced donors can both have second thoughts or not complete their testing in a timely manner, but we feel if a donor has already been through this process, at least she knows what she's in for.

 This was the first cycle I truly BELIEVED would work for us. I feel like I was just slapped in the face with the reminder that there are absolutely no guarantees in this process and this really might never work.

 

AmCheri

I'm really sorry to hear this. I can fully understand your decision.  The clinic should be more proactive with their donors. I can tell you that if a would-be donor blows off the interview with the psychologist at my clinic, then they're out of the program. There's not even room for rescheduling as a general rule. Given how sensitive this process is, I think that clinics ought to protect their patients from this very type of problem.  You shouldn't have to deal with this. Bug hugs. 

LittleLady77

AmCheri:

I'm really sorry to hear this. I can fully understand your decision.  The clinic should be more proactive with their donors. I can tell you that if a would-be donor blows off the interview with the psychologist at my clinic, then they're out of the program. There's not even room for rescheduling as a general rule. Given how sensitive this process is, I think that clinics ought to protect their patients from this very type of problem.  You shouldn't have to deal with this. Bug hugs. 

all of this.

Im so sorry. I can't even imagine how frustrating your situation is. If it helps, I would totally dump that donor too. There is no way I would want them second guessing their decision while taking injections.   

happywifemomofone

I am sorry that you are going though this.  We had similar problems, and even had a donor that we had choosen find out that she was KU while legals were being drawn up.  Hoping that you will look back and know that even though this part is frustrating and hard, it's all worthwhile and you end up working with who you are supposed to work with in the end.  Hope that your unproven donor proves to be a rockstar!

 

BeckyP005

That is ridiculous. I am so sorry you have to be dealing with this. Hoping your next donor is is awesome!! Big hugs.

indianasunshine

I am so sorry.  There is so much hurry up and wait in this process.  The last thing you need is someone who is not committed.  We lost a bunch of time to one donor, not because she flaked out, but because she was physically unable to complete the process.  Whatever the reason, the delays are tough and so disappointing. Sending big hugs!

liz4paws

I don't blame you for being disappointed and frustrated. That's terrible. Even though it's tough, I'm glad you made the decision to move onto someone with more experience. I hope that you'll be right back on track very soon and you'll feel even more confident with the new donor you find. Wishing you lots of luck as you look for her and go through that process once again.

MrsT4

Big ((hugs)) to you...I know the waiting can be frustrating, but sometimes I think donors don't realize how anxious the whole process is for us and what seems like NBD to them is a super big deal to us.

At least you found out now, before starting the cycle and as the PP mentioned, I hope the next donor turns out to be a better match for you and will result in your rainbow baby...best of luck!!!

Km672

Thanks for all your support ladies, knew you'd understand.

It really wasn't the end of the world, but sometimes it can feel that way. I'm lucky I to have others who get it.

I'm happy to report we chose a new donor. She's unproven, which is still a concern for us, but we didn't really like any of the proven donors. If she pulls through for us, she will be perfect.