2nd Trimester
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Military Wifes out there?
Hello everyone, I just got a few questions me and my fianc? are expecting our first child together. I have two children from a previous relationship so i'm not new to being a mommy. I am new to being a military girlfriend. I'm 18 weeks and he's deployed. Our baby is due Oct 26th and he doesn't come back till beginning of November. Its been very hard on me, emotions are crazy and I miss him more than anything. I have to go to doctor appointments without him, sonograms, and baby shopping. How did you get through it? He calls when he can and his first question is how is his little one and it tears me because he cant see the sonograms like I do or put his hand on my belly and feel the little one kick and punch. What did you do to get through this? Thank you
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Re: Military Wifes out there?
well i'm not a military wife (but i was previous active duty myself) but I am a woman going through pregnancy alone b/c the sperm donor doesn't want to be around...so...I understand what it's like to do it alone. It's hard, it's lonely, it's scary. You could possibly send him a copy of the sonogram? or skype and show him the baby bump. I get through doing everything alone by just focusing on the baby. Know that he loves you very much and is there with you in spirit, and as soon as he comes back, he'll be there for you and the baby and showering both of you with lots of love and if he had a choice, he'd be there now. that's the best thing to remember. He will be back before you know it.
I can't begin to imagine how hard that would be. I am also a military wife, but the hubby is in the "chair force".
Ask your obgyn if you can get a recording of the sonogram. It won't be the same as him being there, but at least that way he'd get to see the movement.
"WTF? I'm proud to say DH is in the Air Force. No need to call it the "chair force" "
Sorry if I offended you. I meant it as a more "tongue in cheek" comment. I'm more than proud of my husband and everything he does. I simply meant that I couldn't understand the OP because I don't have to worry about him being deployed because of his particular job.
not a military wife, but my cousin is. I asked her this same thing, because i thought i would be going through this.
It's hard for her but at the same time she loves it. she loves being a mom and being a housewife and her husband letting her stay home and cook and clean while he's the one working. although she does do work at home too. even though he missed some of the pregnancy process because he was away she knew what she was getting herself into. and she wouldnt have it any other way. She had her family and she also had her in laws to lean on which was a big help for her.
So are you a gf or fiance? I is confused. Lol.
Anyways...DH is deploying 3 months after birth and won't be back until DD is 1yr 3mo old. I would've preferred him gone during pregnancy instead of the entire first year. But...it's what we sacrifice. Know that going in. Start a journal or scrapbook so he can look back and not feel completely left out.
I'm glad you attempted to clean this up because my DH is in the Air Force and has deployed 4 times to Iraq/Afghan in the last 6 years. All for 6-12 months at a time.
Yes, I wish my husband had not missed our daughters first year or more. She will be 18 months when he gets home. With all the underways and the long deployment, once he is home, he will have been in her life a total of 4 months of the 18.
I am also pregnant with our second. We found out a few weeks before he left and he is not due back until after I am due. I am happy he will be here for the first year of this babies life.
Once you are further along, go do a 3d/4d ultrasound. They usual make you a dvd or put them online so he should be able to access it.
DH is in the Navy and we have been fortunate enough to where is his home for my pregnancy and he should be home for the birth. He did miss our A/S and hasn't gotten to make it to many appointments. He gets to go to the first one since I was about 12 weeks tomorrow. It's our first child, so I haven't had to deal with him being deployed during pregnancy before. I know he will eventually deploy when she is still very small though (he's on a submarine, so we aren't allowed to know exactly when). It makes me sad that she will change so much while he is gone and we don't get to Skype or talk. I just try to stay positive. In my case, I keep telling myself that I'm glad he will be here when she is born. In your case, at least he should be home very shortly after and your LO won't be a year old before he gets to see her for the first time. I'd maybe make a pregnancy scrap book or something for him to see with weekly belly pictures and all of your ultrasound pictures. When you start to see movement from the outside, try and make videos so he gets to see. You might could even see if your doctor will let you record your next ultrasound, or sometimes they can put it on a disk. It would be a fun care package to send some belly pics, videos and maybe an "I love my daddy" onesie or something. Hope the deployment goes by fast and you have a good pregnancy!
This. My husband doesn't give a hoot about the pregnancy or going to appointments or any of that jazz anyway. It's unfortunate he's here for this pretty un-exciting and uneventful period, but won't be here for most of their first year. You get used to doing everything by yourself as a military spouse. Even if they ARE here, the chances they could go to appointments and what not is basically none.