MOM problems

sweetsugarmama

So the boys had their evaluation today to see if they will continue therapy and early steps (they will since they are preemies). They did fine on motor skill stuff, they aren't talking but babble, most of it was all fine.

But then she said, "do they repeat animal noises when you show them pictures of an animal?" It occured to me I never do that! I totally forgot about it. I would do it with DD but with the boys if they are happily playing I'm doing something fun like going to the bathroom or sweeping the floor, maybe if I'm feeling fancy I'll check my email. If they aren't happy I'm feeding them, changing them, giving back toys, etc. 

Then she asked about knowing their eyes, nose, etc. DD knew her body parts in french and english because we would play the body game in the bathtub. When the boys get in the tub we're washing, splashing and telling them over and over to sit down, not stick their face in the water, etc.  

 So tell me I'm not a miserable slacker, I feel like with one I had so much more time and attention to foster their little brains. With two I'm still working on basics.  I mean they watch enough sesame street, but I guess Grover hasn't covered animal sounds yet.  

Mrs.AshAsh

Nope, youre not alone. My first, DD, knew it all! She was crawling at 5.5 mths, walking at 9...she was sooo much more ahead of DS, my second, when she was his age. He talks, but she was certainly more clear when she was his age.

This all being said, in my case, they are two different babies....and now we are expecting 2 more...in your case, they are 3 different kids. Learning cimes differently for all children. Its so much easier to focus on one child. When there is more than one child to focus on, keeping them all healthy, fed and happy is the most important. You are just fine. You are human and being stretched in so many different ways.

The only things that we really do differently now are during "down times"...haha, what are those?!....like when we are eating, we say, "Put the fork in your hands!" And then we, "Clap our HANDS for B!" They pick up quickly and easily and he has learned just so much from just that little bit that we have changed. Instead of, "Sit down" in the tub, it could be, "Sit on your bum...now kick your legs, splash water with your hands..." That helped with us,too. Bubbles on the nose...close your eyes, here comes the water type of things. I mean, they are gonna want the fun things, we were just sure to add in what body parts, numbers, colors...whatever, are involved in it.

Getting back to the point, just a very long winded way to say you arent alone.

Corleyrae

hehe FTM here so you know, ignore me, but I was thinking "sounds like boys to me" and my second thought was "yeah, of course you had more time with your first". I think you are fine! Congrats on being a good mom!

macchiatto

I felt the same way in infancy/early toddlerhood compared to my mom friends who had singletons!

mirnb

You are not alone! I don't have any older children but when I see my friends with a singleton I think yeah right like I have time to teach my children their body parts....I'm just barely keeping up with maintaining all the body parts....anyone else feel like someone always need their nails or toenails cut! haha 

but when I get a little sad about that I remember how awesome it is that they have each other and all the cool things I get to experience as a MOM that others moms don't...and then I feel better  

raraavis28

mirnb:

You are not alone! I don't have any older children but when I see my friends with a singleton I think yeah right like I have time to teach my children their body parts....I'm just barely keeping up with maintaining all the body parts....anyone else feel like someone always need their nails or toenails cut! haha 

but when I get a little sad about that I remember how awesome it is that they have each other and all the cool things I get to experience as a MOM that others moms don't...and then I feel better  

OMG YES! I have two baby Wolverines!  

OP, my LOs are younger, but I do hear ya on just feeling like you're treading water all the time...I try to read to my boys frequently, but it's hard to keep them both on my lap, let alone interested in a story! I try not to sweat it, though. The babies will learn what they need to learn and it's not like there are deadlines for certain things....like learning animal noises. I'm sure you're doing a great job!:)

mamatotwins0812

mirnb:

You are not alone! I don't have any older children but when I see my friends with a singleton I think yeah right like I have time to teach my children their body parts....I'm just barely keeping up with maintaining all the body parts....anyone else feel like someone always need their nails or toenails cut! haha 

but when I get a little sad about that I remember how awesome it is that they have each other and all the cool things I get to experience as a MOM that others moms don't...and then I feel better  

haha!! For real!! I was just thinking the other day how my children must have the fastest growing nails on earth lol.

OP, you are so not alone. I feel this way ALL the time. Like pp I don't have any other children to compare to but it's all too often that on the days I'm feeling super confident in keeping it all together, I read, hear or see something that I should be or could be doing and think "shoot, I must be a bad mama". It's HARD with 2, and like pp said, I always remind myself that they will learn everything they need to just like any other kiddo .  

Mrs. Alice

I don't have an older child but you're not alone!  I generally don't talk a whole lot and have really had to make myself talk more with the twins.  And yes when they are happy playing or watching a show, I usually leave them alone so I can have a few minute break because they wear me out or I will be trying to get other things done like cooking and cleaning.  I don't know that many 12 month olds who can say body parts and animal noises anyway...  Also mine started speech therapy at 20 months for delays.  Absolutely no one was surprised that twin boys who were preemies were delayed in speech.  So it's fairly common actually.  They caught up pretty quick in their gross motor which our therapists say boys usually do quicker.

PumpkinAndThePeanut

I have the same fears and my girls are only a month old. We are so busy just surviving and trying to keep them fed and changed that we don't have time to make sure each gets her daily tummy time and baths might happen once a week. I'm worried this is just the beginning of the feelings of inadequacy as a mom for me. :[

JocelynB0911

While my boys arent here, we "slacked" if you will with DS big time! Like your boys, he was always content playing with his sister. While he does know his body parts, he is just now starting to really repeat animal noises and the names at 2. Do I feel like a failure? Kind of. Is he still developing fine? Absolutely. I joke with DH that if we dont have it on the schedule the twins may not know the difference between a cow and a pig. *hangs head in shame*

palm513

mirnb:

You are not alone! I don't have any older children but when I see my friends with a singleton I think yeah right like I have time to teach my children their body parts....I'm just barely keeping up with maintaining all the body parts....anyone else feel like someone always need their nails or toenails cut! haha 

but when I get a little sad about that I remember how awesome it is that they have each other and all the cool things I get to experience as a MOM that others moms don't...and then I feel better  

 

OMG! This is so true, it seems like I am clipping nails and changing diapers ALL day. No time for anything fun or educational as soon as I sit down to read them a book or work with them on animals they need a diaper or they figured out how to take the lid off of yet another sippy cup and spilled juice all over themselves or or or or or or or there are so many thing 2 one year olds can do that 1 can't. 

I have  a few friends that all had one baby when I had my twins and they all started walking at 9 months and my twins didn't start walking until 12 months. And I felt horrible. Now I just try to throw in as much education as I can in doing what I have to. I do all my house work in the mornings and during nap time so thy typically get babysat by seaseme street, or baby Einstein's for about an hour or two in the morning. Which I pass off as well they are learning something. 

But during diaper changes we sing the ABC's or count to 10. We go over body part as I clean them in the tub, we also go over body parts while they are getting dressed. as for animals and their sounds the closest thing they get is singing old mcdonald had a farm...

You are not a bad mom as long as you make sure your kids needs are all taken care of. Which it sounds like they are... also I have a baby book of all the milestones and I look at what they are supposed to be learning and try to throw it in to the routine. At the twins 9 month check up the doctor asked it they waved and I was like no but why would they no one ever waved to them.... they did have the pincher grasp down perfectly though. So win there... but I took them home and started waving bye when I went to the bathroom and told them to wave to all the random geniuses that want to tell you how to raise your twins at walmart and within 1 week they picked it up. 

Being a MoM is hard there are hundreds of SAHM of singletons that complain about not having enough time. So it is perfectly understandable for a MOM to feel like they are a bad mother because they don't have the time to do the things they want to do with their kids.

 

HisBelovedPrincess

mirnb:

You are not alone! I don't have any older children but when I see my friends with a singleton I think yeah right like I have time to teach my children their body parts....I'm just barely keeping up with maintaining all the body parts....anyone else feel like someone always need their nails or toenails cut! haha 

but when I get a little sad about that I remember how awesome it is that they have each other and all the cool things I get to experience as a MOM that others moms don't...and then I feel better  

yep, this exactly just wait, one of these days, after all those sesame street episodes (they do have Elmo the Musical, where they talk about shapes!) you'll hear your kiddos talking about shapes that will show you their inner genius

AmyJoy728

My boys are 14 months and don't talk more than babble and don't repeat animal sounds.. They know where there head, nose, and ears are and that's about it LOL. 

sweetsugarmama

Well I relieved my guilt by buying the FP little people zoo that does animal sounds (on sale! on fisher-pricestore.com many LP are 70% off) and telling their 6 year old sister to practice it with them. Problem solved! Now if only she could cut their toenails!