It hasn't for me. My best friend is expecting a little girl in August and while I'm thrilled over the moon for them, it hurts a little bit inside that I may never have the same experience that I so desperately want.
I do think that once we bring our child home, it will ease it a bit as the goal is to become parents, and that's what I need to focus on.
15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!
Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...
Dr.Loretta:It still pops up from time to time, depending on the scenario and a lot of other factors. I was never in a babymaking competition with my relatives, but occasional announcements, etc. still sting
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
I think everyone is a bit different, but for me, the wounds are healing. Every once in a while, I still feel pangs of hurt and frustration, but they are not nearly what they were. In fact, those feelings only come up very rarely now.
One of the nurses in the NICU who took care of DS had adopted 4 children after infertility. She said she felt like there was a mutual healing - parents whose hearts are made more whole with the addition of the child they'd been praying for, and the child who needs parents to love them and care for them the way their birth mother could not. I don't know if I totally buy into that, but I can see where she was coming from.
You will never forget the pain, but, much like the death of a loved one, it will subside. And your focus will change. Right now, the infertility has been a huge focus for you. Once you have that child in your arms, and your home, your focus will not be on what you don't have, but will be on what you DO have. And that will keep you very, very busy!
Well we are still waiting. It still stings at times. This child may not be growing under my heart but he or she is definitely in it. Time and prayer has helped me heal from our losses.
I used not to go to baby showers but I was missing out in celebrating their growing families. I'm now planning my SIL's shower--she's having TWINS.
It will get better.
I've actually never cared about being pregnant myself. Not sure why, but I never craved that part of the process. But I'm so tired of trying to start a family. I'm exhausted with the treatments, and then the adoption process, added on top of it all, we're in the age where everyone is getting pregnant.
I'm not sure I have the emotional energy to attend this particular shower. Last year all 3 of our sibling's had babies, as well as several cousins. I made a pact that I will only attend showers of immediate family and very close friends for my own sanity. I've co-hosted 4 showers in the last year and a half. It's a lot for someone dealing with all of this craziness. I think I just had to draw a line, I feel selfish, but I just can't do it.
The 1st time I held our baby girl I stopped thinking about getting pregnant and knew I was holding the baby I was meant to have. So, now I don't have that sting in my heart when I find out friends or family are expecting just excitement for them.