Help!

FreshCup100

Hi everyone, first time posting, long time reading. My wife and I are in dire straits. We've been trying to hard to do attachment parenting because we feel that society has destroyed entire generations of children and we want our child to experience a more natural way forward.

What is a good way to wean a 48-month old child? We've tried everything and have been unable to get our little one to stop nursing. It is becoming socially uncomfortable for all of us. We had a red letter day last week when our child ripped my wife's top down in the grocery store and began pointing at her breasts, screaming. She had been fussy all day but she never had done this before!

We've tried to switch over to solids but the paleo-diet baby food we bought doesn't seem appetizing to our child. I understand that the food is meant to simulate the healthy experience that a cave-baby would have had back in 10,000 B.C., but mashed-up pine cone batter doesn't seem to be doing the trick. 

Also, potty training has been so hard. Often, our elimination communication fails; our child will emit elimination cues when she does not need to use the potty, therefore wasting significant amounts of our time sitting by the toilet with her. However, she will often poop all over the place without offering us so much as a single cue! We feel so strongly that diapers are a weapon of oppression, and that they make a child feel as if his/her private areas are evil, but it's hard when your child mounts an all-out sneak attack via his/her bowels. Last time, she crapped all over our kale garden!

Additionally, we're starting to think that Doctor Solange McCoy's Naked Natural Sign Language for the Family program might not be as beneficial for the family as we thought. Our neighbors keep calling the police when we do the outdoor stretching-and-sunshine exercises.

It's the little things, too. Co-sleeping with a hyper child has gotten me kicked in the nuts about 100 times. And my wife's attempts to cater to our child's needs by handing her things have led to about $10,000 in destroyed property, including my iPad, an industrial-strength microwave, and my father-in-law's hunting rifle (we took the bullets out but didn't want our child to feel ostracized by not letting her carry it).

Please help! 

 

Sincerely,

Hopeless in Patagonia

Realdad1969

Listen up you filthy, rotten, good for nothing prick, you are a weak nerdy dad who needs to step up to the plate. Give your kid some weight, protein powder, and most importantly, an whipping. I recently got my son a land tiller, you know, the ones you attach to horses and they pull them. He's getting tougher and when I really want his balls to grow, I throw him into a pit full of rabies infested pit bulls and make him fight until he cries. You sound like nothing more than a left wing liberal hippie who needs an kicking himself.  

FreshCup100

Wow....just, wow. Your child is going to grow up into some kind of Republican right-wing fascist violent killer. You give us no credit at all for TRYING to raise our child in harmony with nature.

Realdad1969

F nature and F you too pal. You're lucky I don't buy a one way ticket to your location and kick the living *** out of you and screw your lame brain wife. I swear on my mums lyfE that you are on ch33ky kunt m8' I swear I will wreck you, when I am done beating you like the foster child you are, I will piss all over your face.

FreshCup100

Realdad1969:

F nature and F you too pal. You're lucky I don't buy a one way ticket to your location and kick the living *** out of you and screw your lame brain wife. I swear on my mums lyfE that you are on ch33ky kunt m8' I swear I will wreck you, when I am done beating you like the foster child you are, I will piss all over your face.

 

Clearly, Realdad, you are a disturbed, emotionally traumatized individual. I imagine that you were once left alone in a sh*tty diaper for days, and were handed a bottle and told to go shut up and feed yourself. People like YOU are the result of mainstream parenting that disregards nature in order to acquire convenience. I do sincerely hope that you find healing, perhaps through the pursuit of herbal teas or some kind of yoga training. In the meantime, please do not reproduce and spread your rageful, fascist ways to the next generation.

Emerald27

Nice try at amusing. And...reported. You two should go play somewhere else.

Runaway22

Is this real lyfe?

SandiaPinaMama

I love it when people try to manage 2 AEs in the same post.  Good luck!  Don't forget to log out and back in before posting each time!

FreshCup100

watermelon mom:

I love it when people try to manage 2 AEs in the same post.  Good luck!  Don't forget to log out and back in before posting each time!

I came onto this board believing that we are all a family on this site and that I could get some motivation from the folks on here, and perhaps a real kick in the pants if need be. Now I am being accused of falsifying information. What a joke. Our struggles as attachment parents are REAL and I don't know who you think you are to judge.

 Frankly, I have no idea who this fool posting above is, and don't care. He is clearly a sad individual who was not hugged enough as a kid. He resorts to making cheeky comments at other peoples' expense.

jbBeans

I lurk here from time to time for tips and I can't help but notice the bs going on. Is there no mod on this board?