vent to prevent further emotional breakdown

NavyWifeTrivette

Despite the hell I have been through with my husband and the pending divorce and everything during this pregnancy, I have been keeping it together really well. I didn't kill him when I caught him cheating, I continue to talk to him and be civil for the sake of our child, and I rarely break out in tears over it. Well my emotional stability has just come crashing down tonight and I feel like I just need to vent to prevent me from breaking down even more. This time, my breakdown isn't even because of my husband or the divorce, although in some ways it does come back to him.

A little back story. I moved home to CT, and have been living with my mom and brother. My brother owns the house, but it is going into foreclosure so we don't know how long we can stay here. My mom is disabled so she can't work or get a place of her own. I have been unable to find a job since being back home so I am not exactly of help financially. My brother wants to just move out and be done with this house because it has been one headache after another for him, but my mom and I want to stay because the mortgage would be cheaper than rent for a 3br. We have been asking my brother to call and see if they are willing to work with him and save the house given the family struggles, and my mom and I could pick up the mortgage payments for him and he could still move out if he wants, as long as we have a place to live. He says he is fine with that, but he keeps procrastinating and won't call the bank or anything.

Well, tonight after my mom went to bed, I asked my brother if on Tuesday as soon as he wakes up if he could please call about the house and see what we can do. I told him if it was just us I wouldn't care so much, but I am due in 3 months and I need to know where my baby will be living and sleeping. He kind of got upset and said if we want to stay here then my mom can call the bank but he just wants out. I told him she can't talk to them because the house is in his name. He said he would give permission to talk to her then she could handle it all. I just broke down in tears because it is like he doesn't care and doesn't want to try. I can't really get mad at him because he shouldn't have to worry about us. I am just so frustrated with the entire situation. I am freaking out because as I reach the third trimester I am freaking out not knowing if I will have a place to live once the baby gets here. 

I just hate that I am bringing my baby into a life like this. It was never suppose to be like this. I was happily married and we both made good money. We knew it was the right time for a baby. Then my husband went crazy and threw it all away but now me and our sons are the ones who have to pay the price for it. I feel like such a failure as a mother and my son isn't even born yet. I have done everything I can so far though, and now it is all out of my hands and I just have to sit back and hope for the best. But how can I just sit back and wait when my child's life is dependent on it?

Sorry that ended up being so long. I am just so frustrated with it all and I guess it is all hitting me hard after building up for so long and I just broke down into a complete emotional  mess. Thanks for letting me vent.

tracy41

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time on top of everything else right now. Try not to let the stress get to you. Maybe you and your mom can just find a smaller place and make do until you can afford something bigger. Having just gone through losing my house because of my divorce I can tell you the bank is probably not going to want to hear the mortgage holder is bailing even if you and your mom could cover the payments. Keep faith and keep looking and something will work out. Have you started the divorce process? Because your lawyer may be able to get alimony ordered while you are still in the process especially considering your pregnancy. Stay strong!

inthelost

That's a very frustrating situation and it's not right that you have to go through this, especially while pregnant. Is there anyway you and your mom can just get a small place maybe? I really hope you figure this all out. I kind of understand..I'm renting a room from a friend and her husband is physco and has said mentioned before that he wants to kick me out (over miniscule things like leaving my keys on the kitchen table) So, try not to stress *too* much. You will figure this out.