self sooth

nicoleh55

When did you start to let baby self sooth? Example, let them cry as opposed to picking them up every time they did.
My son is almost a month and someone told me I should have let him start to self sooth already but that doesn't sound right...?

ClandestineX

To be honest, anyone thinking a baby can self sooth at that age is crazy. Nobody on this board (0-3 Month) should even be thinking of self sooth yet. I am for crying it out, and my son will when he gets old enough... old enough is at minimum 6 months I think, might be more around 8 for me.

I wish there was a giant banner on the 0-3 month board that says... "No, your child shouldn't cry it out yet, yes it is normal for schedules to be hectic."

There are times when babies have to cry for some period of time.. Take for example me driving on a highway with no side road to pull off into for 20 miles.. suddenly my son starts crying like crazy, but I cannot stop, and he keeps crying.. every time that happens (it has only happened three times now) it pains me because I know he doesn't understand how to self sooth.. yes eventually he will stop and fall asleep, but I know he doesn't know how to self sooth still. And to be honest, it kills me to think people do the crying it out at this stage of life. They understand holding and comfort sucking as soothers. Crying it out means not holding them, and at this stage they can't hold their hands steady enough to suck on their fingers and when they cry usually the pacifier falls out.

jkuhmann

My DS just started to self-soothe by sucking his thumb. I never let him CIO, but if he fusses for a few minutes, maybe with a few intermittent cries, I'll wait to see if he'll go back to sleep.

 

I wouldn't expect him to self-soothe at a month or before. Like I said, we just started and my LO is 3.5 months. You'll know when he's ready because he'll just do it some time when you can't get to him right away.

thatoneredhead

nicoleh55:

When did you start to let baby self sooth? Example, let them cry as opposed to picking them up every time they did. My son is almost a month and someone told me I should have let him start to self sooth already but that doesn't sound right...?

Nope. Shouldnt sound right. Heck, Im not even that great at it at 287 months.

Ignore the crazy. There's lots of it out there. If it doesnt sound/feel right, it isnt. My grandma told me that it was a bad idea to always hold him and then about 6mo later told me she could tell how coddled he was. Yeah. Pretty much. He was 6mo at the time.

chlsbshp

use your mother instinct, if your LO sounds like he's still sleepy when he cries, you know kinda whining but not screaming for you, my LO will do this, she takes a while to wake up (takes after mom I'll peek my head in her crib, if it looks like she's not ready to wake up, I'll leave her alone. But self soothe I think, isn't development, til maybe 4M or even 6M.

MrsHartman7

I think a lot of people use the term 'self soothe' and 'CIO' interchangeably.  If someone was suggesting you let your lo fuss or suck their hands for a while to see if they fall back to sleep, I say go for it.  If they are suggesting you sleep train at this point, tell them to take a hike:)

vindaloo

ClandestineX:

To be honest, anyone thinking a baby can self sooth at that age is crazy. Nobody on this board 03 Month should even be thinking of self sooth yet. I am for crying it out, and my son will when he gets old enough... old enough is at minimum 6 months I think, might be more around 8 for me.I wish there was a giant banner on the 03 month board that says... "No, your child shouldn't cry it out yet, yes it is normal for schedules to be hectic."There are times when babies have to cry for some period of time.. Take for example me driving on a highway with no side road to pull off into for 20 miles.. suddenly my son starts crying like crazy, but I cannot stop, and he keeps crying.. every time that happens it has only happened three times now it pains me because I know he doesn't understand how to self sooth.. yes eventually he will stop and fall asleep, but I know he doesn't know how to self sooth still. And to be honest, it kills me to think people do the crying it out at this stage of life. They understand holding and comfort sucking as soothers. Crying it out means not holding them, and at this stage they can't hold their hands steady enough to suck on their fingers and when they cry usually the pacifier falls out.

This absolutely. A baby that young does not have the tools developmentally to selfsoothe.

VPGIRL06

If you're instincts are saying it's not right, then go with mommy instincts. Personally, I don't think letting a baby younger than 5 months CIO is ok-some say under 6 or 9 is wrong, some say start as early as 3 or 4. Self soothing can happen without CIO, but at 1 month, I think they're still adjusting to life outside the womb. At 11 weeks, my LO is a litttlllee more like a baby, less like a fetus. She makes a bunch of noise to express her emotions (instead of just crying), she enjoys stretching her body out and looking at the world (where as before she preferred to just be by me) and she is "learning" more and more and enjoying displaying her new "skills". Still, too early to CIO but I definitely can see a difference in between her as a baby versus her as essentially still kind of a fetus, just outside the belly.

pinottoparenthood

If LO is fussing in his crib at night, I will leave him in there awhile and he will often go to sleep. If he's full on crying, I go pick him up and soothe him. He's almost six weeks.

Cellis

MrsHartman7:

I think a lot of people use the term 'self soothe' and 'CIO' interchangeably.  If someone was suggesting you let your lo fuss or suck their hands for a while to see if they fall back to sleep, I say go for it.  If they are suggesting you sleep train at this point, tell them to take a hike:)

I agree.  

amykins1283

1 month is way too early. My first was not a good self soother and we ended up Ferbering at 5 months because it was taking forever to get him to sleep. My second baby has been able to go to sleep on his own since birth without any rocking or feeding. He will fuss a bit in the crib and rarely will cry 2 to 3 minutes but he always puts himself to sleep.

Generally sleep training is not recommended until after 4 months. Right now your baby needs you!

RibbitGrl930

Cellis:

MrsHartman7:

I think a lot of people use the term 'self soothe' and 'CIO' interchangeably.  If someone was suggesting you let your lo fuss or suck their hands for a while to see if they fall back to sleep, I say go for it.  If they are suggesting you sleep train at this point, tell them to take a hike:)

I agree.  

Same here. Sometimes when Jake starts crying, i'll look in on him and he'll be sucking his thumb. I try to wait and watch him before picking him up because, sometimes, he'll soothe himself back to sleep. If he gives up on thumb-sucking and resumes crying, then I pick him up. Like others have said, even Ferber/CIO advocates absolutely advise against implementing CIO before 4 months at the absolute earliest.

Jessicadbaker

nicoleh55:

When did you start to let baby self sooth? Example, let them cry as opposed to picking them up every time they did.
My son is almost a month and someone told me I should have let him start to self sooth already but that doesn't sound right...?

6 months at the youngest. I'm a STM I have an 8 yr old. If my MIL or husband tell me one more time to let my 2 week old cry it out I'm going to scream! You can't spoil a baby a baby at this age is crying for a reason. Sorry I'm aggravated today about this topic LOL.