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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Men!
Yup, this is a husband rant. But I have to get it out on here so as not to start an argument at home because I am frustrated.
So, my husband decided to sleep all morning while I dealt with a VERY disagreeable baby. I tried everything I could think of to get this boy to calm down but nothing seemed to work. Finally my husband wakes up and takes over. Well, not really. He took the baby from me and put him down in the pack n play and proceeded to make himself breakfast while our son wailed his head off. Umm are you friggin kidding me?! That's not really fixing the problem! I wish guys could have the same "mom way" of doing things that we women do. They are so clueless sometimes. I know my husband means well but sometimes his version of helping is actually doing very little to help or his version creates more work for me.
I just have to add this little extra annoyance to my rant. When my husband comes home from work after I have dealt with the fussy one all day and takes over and of course the baby finally falls asleep. And my husband says to me, "that was easy." Yeah no kidding he is asleep! He hasn't slept all day and is worn out from fussing. It's not because of anything you did! Ugh!!
Ok that's my rant. I love being able to come on here and vent to you ladies. You are the only ones that truly understand.
So, my husband decided to sleep all morning while I dealt with a VERY disagreeable baby. I tried everything I could think of to get this boy to calm down but nothing seemed to work. Finally my husband wakes up and takes over. Well, not really. He took the baby from me and put him down in the pack n play and proceeded to make himself breakfast while our son wailed his head off. Umm are you friggin kidding me?! That's not really fixing the problem! I wish guys could have the same "mom way" of doing things that we women do. They are so clueless sometimes. I know my husband means well but sometimes his version of helping is actually doing very little to help or his version creates more work for me.
I just have to add this little extra annoyance to my rant. When my husband comes home from work after I have dealt with the fussy one all day and takes over and of course the baby finally falls asleep. And my husband says to me, "that was easy." Yeah no kidding he is asleep! He hasn't slept all day and is worn out from fussing. It's not because of anything you did! Ugh!!
Ok that's my rant. I love being able to come on here and vent to you ladies. You are the only ones that truly understand.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Men!
Today must be the day for ranting. My husband did somewhat of the same thing last night. I was pumping in the bedroom, LO was fussing and I could hear hubby in the living room getting frustrated saying "keep it up and you are going to go to your pack n play" (umm what did he expect our one month old son to do? say "well okay dad, sorry for fussing".. good grief)
So hubby proceeds to come into the bedroom and lay him in his pack n play right next to me and leaves the room..??? So I stopped pumping of course, I have no problem letting him fuss but he was out and out screaming. I picked him up and he nested his head into my neck and calmed right down.
rant #2
I figure since my husband is off today he would be loving enough to get up with our son and let me sleep in for one morning. NOPE! I get up feed our son, lay him back down, proceed to fix breakfast..... meanwhile my husband gets up makes a phone call asks if I need any help. I say "yes you can go out and do chores for me" he replies "well I will but not while it is raining and lightning" *head desk* pretty sure he wont melt and it wasn't storming just the occasional flash of lightning.
He then says "well if you don't need my help I am going back to bed" WT????
Don't get me wrong he is an awesome husband and dad but sometimes you wonder if they really realize what us moms do especially moms of newborns. Up every2 hours, pumping, laundry, housework, cooking, and if you live on a farm then add chores on top of that, and if you have dogs add letting them in and out and feeding them.
Yes my husband works 40-50 hours a week in a factory building machines. But one thing about his job is he leaves after 10 hours. Our job is 24/7/365. Don't get me wrong I love love love being a mom but I do wish I could have a day where I could just "breath".
Ugh. Here's my husband rant..
On Wednesday night, my DH says one of his coworkers wanted to know if he wanted to meet him and a couple buddies at this pub/restaurant place that's like 30-45 minutes away for some Friday night fun. I say sure, that'll be good for you to get out of the house. My husband doesn't drink and drive, so we figure I'll take him to make it for happy hour (which gives me enough time to get back and put little miss routine into bed on time) and he'll take a cab back around 10-1030. This gives him plenty of time to sleep until 9, when I have to leave for something I already had planned. Sounds reasonable, right?
Yeah, guy doesn't show up home until 2 am. Which means he had been drinking from around 530 until 1/130....which means right now at 830 am, he is passed out and I have two choices
a) wake him and let him deal with our baby hungover. Granted, she's pretty easy, all he'll have to do is a bottle..not even another nap will be needed until I get home. But I don't doubt he's still maybe a little drunk
b)cancel my engagement and stay home.
I'm pretty frustrated that he did that. I asked him if he thought there would be any chance he might decided to make it a late night, and if so, let me know so I can cancel my thing. He said "no, I don't want to hurt that bad, I just want to get out and hang out with some people. I'll deal with the headache and her the next day but I'll definitely want to come home around 10-1030".
Freaking A....
BFP #1 EDD 12.18.12 - Missed M/C at 9w3d D&C 5.22.12
I can't even begin to type all my DH rants, but I think some of us are married to the same person!
Capstone, my DH talks to them like they can make those choices too. We give the twins a bottle of BM as part of their bedtime routine, and if we start the routine too late they are crying by the time we feed them. He refuses to feed his twin until she stops crying! "Well, you'll get fed when you calm down. Knock it off, this is ridiculous." It drives me nuts. Then when she yawns or takes a breath and stops for a second, he starts feeding her and tells me "See, it worked." Um, yes, denying a hungry baby food IS a good idea, of course. Argh.
Sometimes he is amazing with them, but sometimes I'm glad that he works all day and I get to stay with them. . . Sometimes it is harder with him around!
I go through very similar frustrations. When DH comes home from work, he wants to help. I give him credit because he does try, but he's constantly asking me what he should do, or questions like "Do you think if I hold her like this, she'll stop crying?" I don't know! I don't have a crystal ball! Just try it! If you want to help, deal with LO yourself and stop asking me a million questions! It's not really helping me when I have to constantly tell him what to do and supervise him. Plus he overreacts and gets frustrated very easily with the baby. Men just don't have that motherly instinct.
Plus when LO is fussy all day, somehow magically she's usually asleep or has calmed down by the time DH comes home. Wonderful...
On a slight tangent, yesterday I ran some errands for a couple hours while DH was home alone with the baby. The past couple days she had been exceptionally fussy and difficult while home alone with me, so I was worried leaving her alone with him. Of course wouldn't you know, she was an almost perfect angel, very little crying, very agreeable. Thanks little girl, now I look like a lier lol!
I sympathize with all of you, my husband, although the greatest man in the world to me... does the exact same thing sometimes. Sometimes I leave out of the room, when I come back our son is crying in his pack and play while my husband is right next to it on his computer laying down... I ask him what the hell was his problem and he said the baby was 'fussing'... needless to say that was the last time he did that. He also has to be told many times to support our sons neck because to him it is okay to be floppy... which I told him swing your neck back and see if that hurts, or flop your neck forward and see if you like sitting that way.
Our son was very very easy in the early weeks, my husband could put him to sleep anytime... now that he is getting older and wanting to stay awake and fighting naps my husband is at a complete loss as to how to put him to sleep.. he thinks the only way to fix his fighting is to stick a bottle in his mouth whenever he cries...
And he has a bad habit of trying to tickle our son whenever he sees him... our son starts grunting when he does he and somehow he thinks that means he likes it... I tell him he isn't old enough to be tickled..
glad to know my dh isnt the only one whose dh seems to be oblivious to helping.I have a 4, 1 and 1 month old and seems like i have to do it ALL myself.He'll come home from work open a beer and kick of his shoes in that order.I dont get how was your day how the kids nothing,Meanwhile i been going all day since 4 am when LO decides to be up.Plus i dont have time to take a shower in the morning like i normally would do because i have noone to watch the babies while i do just that.so as soon as he gets home i will like some me time but that never happens i have to ask him to watch them just so i could take a shower are you kidding alittle help without asking would be greatly appreciated.i could go on forever with this rant.