Pregnant after 35

Announcing pregnancy to ppl

I am 13 weeks now and don't quite know how to tell ppl for fear that they may judge me for being an older mom (36).  How should I announce my happy news? 

Re: Announcing pregnancy to ppl

  • I am also hesitant to announce, for fear that others will call me crazy for TTC at our age (I have a 20yo son).  I have decided that my response will be that "yes, I am crazy.  Crazy about my husband and crazy about the new addition that we are expecting in December."  My sister already brought up that this was an "oops" pregnancy, not exactly.  Hoping that she will one day say that to me directly so that I can set her straight.

    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
  • Geeps2Geeps2 member

    Tell people in whatever way you feel comfortable!  I was 37 when I had my 1st and just turned 39 and will still be when #2 arrives.  When announcing both pregnancies I received nothing but well wishes.  No one ever said anything about my age. But anyone who knows my husband and I know we met and got married later in life so it was no surprise why we were having kids at the ripe old age that we are :)

    Enjoy telling people and don't worry about the nay-sayers.  They don't matter anyway! 


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  • So interesting...36 in some circles is an older mom?  just have a look at all of the people in hollywood having babies close to 40 and beyond.  Just be happy and confident that you have wonderful news to share- although the medical community likes to make a big deal about moms over 35...it's just a number
  • AbeilleAbeille member

     Is it unusual where you live to be pregnant after 35? I'm just wondering, because it's fairly common where I am and being judged for my age never crossed my mind.

    I say just start telling people and maybe it won't be that big of a deal.

    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



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  • I agree with PP 36 is not really old. I'm 41 and pregnant with my first. I have had nothing but positive reactions from friends and colleagues alike. I think many women are waiting until later in life to start families, at least in metropolitan areas. I wouldn't worry about it, you might be surprised!

     

  • imageAbeille:
    nbsp;Is it unusual where you live to be pregnant after 35? I'm just wondering, because it's fairly common where I am and being judged for my age never crossed my mind.I say just start telling people and maybe it won't be that big of a deal.


    This! You might be surprised and have zero comments on your age. I'm 36 too and I haven't had a one, didn't expect any either. Here's hoping you get nothing but well wishes!
    Me: 38, DH: 35
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  • I don't think 36 is old at all and I'm sure very common. If you already have kids I'm sure people will ask if it was planned or was it an accident though.
  • tig594tig594 member
    I was 41 when i got pregnant with DD and 42 when she was born. No one said anything about my age. They may have had thoughts about it but weren't brave enough to say anything to my face. :)
  • 36 is not old. I'm 36 also but feel 26 on the inside. We are not old! Shame on anyone that would pass judgement on any mother regardless of their age. You are going to be a mom. Your YOUNG body is bringing a life into the world. That is such a wonderful and amazing thing. So go out there and shout it from the roof tops! Best wishes :)
  • Thanks ladies. I appreciate the words of encouragement! I guess since my oldest is 14 and my youngest 11 I assume ppl will wonder why now! I guess I shouldn't worry so much about it.
  • jkzinckjkzinck member
    I was 38 when dd was born and will be 40 with this one. I did not have a single negative comment and everyone was very happy for us.
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  • GuennieGuennie member
    I am 40 years old, pregnant with my first, and one of the things I have learned in my ripe OLD age...sarcasm...is not to be so worried what other people think. Your energy is better spent elsewhere. Live your life. Be happy. Celebrate your adventure. People can think whatever they want, it does not have to affect you. I have had nothing but well wishes since announcing my pregnancy and if there is anyone who feels differently I really don't care. I'm too busy being grateful for this gift to bother with negativity. Congratulations!
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
  • imagelilmisstubborn:
    Thanks ladies. I appreciate the words of encouragement! I guess since my oldest is 14 and my youngest 11 I assume ppl will wonder why now! I guess I shouldn't worry so much about it.
    Oh wow, we have some things in common. My oldest is also 14, my son is 16 months and then I this little one coming. When I became pregnant with my son several ppl joked that i was starting over from scratch after my DD was almost out of the door. But no ever said anything offensive or judgmental. If anything I caught the most flack when I had my DD at 21 as an unmarried college student. I had lots and lots of older relatives and female co-workers voice their opinions to me about that. It was really difficult to be judged so harshly and I guess its why I have a thicker skin on the subject now. I really believe young moms (21 and under) get judged more than older moms. So many women nowadays are having kids in their 30's and 40's. We are more established and stable so its a good time for most of us to raise kids and it isn't a big deal.
  • Older?  You're a young'n!  I'm 40 pregnant with our first (and only).  I'm expecting some surprised reactions, but folks who want to bring up age will get a handful of nasty choice words in response.  :)
  • I completely understand your concern but I wouldnt worry. I'm 40, will be 41 when baby comes, and my son is almost 21. My mom is totally freaking out and I'm sure my son will too. I'm also not married and baby daddy is my boyfriend of 5 months. I don't see the need for marriage just because we're expecting, having been married and divorced, so we'll just go with the flow. I do know that I care less what other people think this time around than I did when I had my first at 19. Most have been very supportive and my friends are really excited to have a baby in the group again. Just remember to keep your stress level low so don't fret. :
  • Me too! : 40 and pregnant is different but cherishing every moment.
  • Well I took a leap and announced pregnancy to my mom.  

  • I just wrote what I felt. I let everyone know we were expecting and how excited we were. Our son was donor conceived so I also put in a few sentences about that- just acknowledging it and offering to answer any questions folks had about that aspect of it. I might have added something about crossing the finish line and the starting line at the same time, since my daughter will be graduating next month, just 2 months after the baby was born! :D

    It is what it is. If you are excited about it, don't let what anyone else has to say about it get you down. This is your miracle and anyone who doesn't want to enjoy the miracle with you- well... I don't have a lot of nice things to say about them!

  • I have one of those nasty employees. It's my dads business I help him run and everyone there is family to me except this crotchety lady older than I am. She is negative about everything. She's the only person I don't want there for the announcement. Actually I don't want to keep her employed at this point. She brings my whole office down. Anyhow. I just turned 35 and I know everyone is dying for me to be pregnant so I am excited to announce. I just wanted fun ideas.
  • I'm 35 and 9 weeks pregnant. I just decided to be successful in my life with college and my career the. Find the love of my life. We are going on our 2 year anniversary and excited for our baby. Everyone else we know is ecstatic for us. I just wish I had my younger body and health to go with it ;
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