Babies: 6 - 9 Months

Advice about my Mother....

I need some advice...

First of all my Mother and Father have been nice enough to watch my daughter who is 8 months now on Tuesdays and Thursdays so she does not have to go to daycare so young. My mother insists on doing the opposite of what i ask. Before my daughter was even born she didn't believe me about the risk of SIDS and insisted that since i slept on my stomach and had a blanket in my crib at night i was overly paranoid (By the way my daughter has Pulmonary Stenosis so i'm a little more worried when it comes to SIDS than a normal person)After she started watching my daughter she insisted that she wanted her to try Ice Cream. I asked her not to give her ice cream until she was a year old and last month she let her have a spoonful of a Wendy?s frosty... I expressed my sadness and feelings of distrust and she said she was sorry she didn't realize that milk too early in a child's life could cause her to become allergic to it later... Then last week i find out that she let my daughter eat a tiny bit of marshmallow from her candy bar!! I'm at the end of my rope and i fear that my trust with my mother will never recover. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Am I over reacting?! I always thought it was the Mother-in-law that usually caused problems but it seems to be my own mother..... (By the way my Mother-In-Law is a dream!) Advice??!

Re: Advice about my Mother....

  • You need to stop letting your mother care for your child, and put her in day care.
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  • We have daycare lined up in August for her. Any advice till then?
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  • imagetabbyandluke09:
    We have daycare lined up in August for her. Any advice till then?

    You should sit her down and calmly  but firmly tell her what's up. That she had her chance to make decisions in child rearing when she raised her own kids. Your LO is your child, and as her mother you call the shots. If she can't agree to that, try to find interim care.

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  • See if you can find someone in the mean time.  I wouldn't let her watch my child if she had no respect for my parenting decisions.
  • If you've already discussed your wishes and have made it clear on how you expect them to be followed by any caregiver, and she still isn't following them, you need a new caregiver who will follow your wishes. 

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  • imagelinzeek44:
    If you've already discussed your wishes and have made it clear on how you expect them to be followed by any caregiver, and she still isn't following them, you need a new caregiver who will follow your wishes.nbsp;

    Sorry to say but, exactly this.
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  • g8trkimg8trkim member
    imagemabenner1:

    imagetabbyandluke09:
    We have daycare lined up in August for her. Any advice till then?

    You should sit her down and calmly  but firmly tell her what's up. That she had her chance to make decisions in child rearing when she raised her own kids. Your LO is your child, and as her mother you call the shots. If she can't agree to that, try to find interim care.

    Good advice. I definitely think you should say this. However, I kind of think she will just do it anyway and not tell you. At least it's only a couple months and she will know how you feel.





  • have a calm talk. alone or as a family, she might not listen, but maybe it will sink in a few days later. 

    i have had similar situations and i'm taking it with a grain of salt (though my issues are not as serious as SIDS concerns, they are similar in that my baby has fallen unsupervised!).

     we talked calmly, she didn't listen but a few days later she realized our concerns and changed her ways. i can't threaten to put the baby in daycare (we can't afford it and she watches him FT) so we really had to work together and come to terms on "best practices". i also give her my "what to expect" book every couple of months...  

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