HELP!! ?s about ASAP private adoption please! — The Bump
Adoption

HELP!! ?s about ASAP private adoption please!

My husband & I have been offered to possibly adopt a family friend's baby that was born today (born to a young mom who hid the pregnancy from her parents and does not want to keep custody).  The baby's grandparents only found out their daughter was pregnant today when she told them she was in labor.  My sister went to visit the young girl and her parents (whom she's close friends with) in the hospital and mentioned to her friend (the baby's grandmother) that we have been ttc #3 without success and may be potentially interested in adopting the baby.  The grandparents are going to discuss this scenario with their daughter tonight.

Needless to say, that after years and years of infertility treatments, my husband and I are very excited and would love to bring this baby home with us.  We have never explored adoption and want to make sure we can (quickly) educate ourselves, should this family decide they would like us to adopt the baby.  

Based on this information, what should we be thinking about that we aren't already? 

Does anyone have ANY advice, tips, thoughts, etc., and/or websites, books, etc. you can share?

Thank you!!!!! 

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Re: HELP!! ?s about ASAP private adoption please!

  • IRRIRR
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Photogenic
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    Are you home study approved?  If not I am not sure you will be able to adopt this child.  There may be ways to get guardianship until you do complete a homestudy, but I am not sure how something like this would work with a child that is born.  Also in the state of IL you will need the consent of the birthfather as well. I would contact an adoption attorney and see what they say.  GL.
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    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


  • Thank you for the information!  Unfortunately, since we had not originally planned on adopting we are not home study approved (we will be contacting an attorney tomorrow).  Our case may also be a little more difficult since the baby was born in IL but we moved out of state last summer.  
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  • Contact an attorney immediately. I had court appointed custody of my boys for several years before the adoption went through. The biological parents signed over custody to me. I actually did not need a home study until we went to TPR and adoption. I found an independent agency who did home studies at reasonable prices and mine was done relatively quickly. (It felt like forever, but after hearing stories here, it was quick.) I am sure that it varies by state so contact a lawyer who specializes in adoption and child custody cases.

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

  • Contact an attorney ASAP. You may be able to take the baby home and get an expedited homestudy in the interim. But it all needs to be documented, legalities sorted out, etc. A lawyer well versed in adoption should be able to walk you through it.

    GL!

  • image irismorning:
    Contact an attorney immediately. I had court appointed custody of my boys for several years before the adoption went through. The biological parents signed over custody to me. I actually did not need a home study until we went to TPR and adoption. I found an independent agency who did home studies at reasonable prices and mine was done relatively quickly. (It felt like forever, but after hearing stories here, it was quick.) I am sure that it varies by state so contact a lawyer who specializes in adoption and child custody cases.

    This is basically how our's went as well. Except for the timeframe. Our girls were 5 months old when we were approached about adopting them. We got gaurdianship of them in May, but due to some other issues we weren't able to get full custody until July, but our adoption was finalized in October. So it only took us 5 months to finalize and like you we weren't even looking into adopting so we had to do a homestudy and background checks.

    After 3 years of infertility we were blessed with twin girls through private infant adoption.
    Forever our's October 17th 2012
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  • image Mandy_Lou83:

    image irismorning:
    Contact an attorney immediately. I had court appointed custody of my boys for several years before the adoption went through. The biological parents signed over custody to me. I actually did not need a home study until we went to TPR and adoption. I found an independent agency who did home studies at reasonable prices and mine was done relatively quickly. (It felt like forever, but after hearing stories here, it was quick.) I am sure that it varies by state so contact a lawyer who specializes in adoption and child custody cases.

    This is basically how our's went as well. Except for the timeframe. Our girls were 5 months old when we were approached about adopting them. We got gaurdianship of them in May, but due to some other issues we weren't able to get full custody until July, but our adoption was finalized in October. So it only took us 5 months to finalize and like you we weren't even looking into adopting so we had to do a homestudy and background checks.

    The timeframe is exactly why I would make sure that you are speaking to an attorney who is well versed in child custody and adoption. My first lawyer extended our time frame by 1 1/2 years because of a small detail that he over looked. We could have TPR and finalized in around 1 year if we had just gotten one more piece of paper signed. My second lawyer was wonderful. In my area, even the courts didn't know what to do with me. There was a lot misinformation given even by the courts. Find someone that you are comfortable with. If possible get references of other PAP who have used them.

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

  • Definitely contact a lawyer or agency.  Here if it is a private adoption you only need a homestudy if the judge requests one, but that is obviously different state to state/province to province.  But your first thing to do will be to get professional advice from a lawyer or agency.

    Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010 

    natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks 

    Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012 

    Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks

    Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014

    Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012.  We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!

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