Prenups- for rocknroll64

shortstuff15

Because rocknroll asked in the family finances thread if someone would start this, what are your views on prenups?

TTGP related:  I'm taking a temping break and while I love knowing exactly when I ovulated, not having to think about it is really making life a lot easier!  That plus when my kids wake me up an hour before my temping time, I don't get nearly as frustrated!

candrew05

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

Jellybean813

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

This exactly!

Bredins wife

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

This for us too. Ha, we had nothing.

Marcilene1

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

Yup us too

ramfan05

chrismo1013:

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

Yup us too

 

brneyemom2

ramfan05:

chrismo1013:

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

Yup us too

 

Us too!

krdesi

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

Lol...this!

mrs_tacos

We never even talked about one before we got married. I think we actually collectively made below the poverty line the first year or two we were married, so it was a non-issue. 

It wouldn't have mattered though, DH is staunchly against them. (We talked about them recently because two friends with a good chunk on change are separating and probably divorcing.)  He thinks it's just setting your marriage up to fail. I mostly agree with him, but I wouldn't side-eye anyone who got one.   

mmb248

We discussed it because of inheritance issues on both sides but decided against it. If either one of us actually inherits a farm we may discuss a post nup.

We didn't have enough assets on our own to worry about it!

Rocknroll64

My DH comes from a fairly wealthy family so if he had wanted one I would've signed it, but he never asked. That would be for inheritance purposes.

We built our house before we were married and dh had a significant down payment while I had barely anything. I signed an agreement that if anything should happen he would get back what he put into it. I had absolutely no problem with it and thought he was smart for doing that. Obviously I think we'll be together forever but there is absolutely no harm in protecting yourself.

greengirl0909

I feel like making the choice to have one lends itself to the idea you aren't sure about the marriage. When we got married I had more assets and I stand to have a solid inheritance coming my way. My family asked me to consider it and I refused. Instead, the wording has been changed on the family trust and my parents' will.  If for some reason DH and I are no longer together, he has no access to any of my inheritance. Guess that means he's probably sticking around!  

MamaAllison

greengirl0909:

I feel like making the choice to have one lends itself to the idea you aren't sure about the marriage. When we got married I had more assets and I stand to have a solid inheritance coming my way. My family asked me to consider it and I refused. Instead, the wording has been changed on the family trust and my parents' will. nbsp;If for some reason DH and I are no longer together, he has no access to any of my inheritance. Guess that means he's probably sticking around! nbsp;

This is my situation almost exactly. Except I don't think MH is excluded in any kind of language. Honestly, my parents love him like a son and together we are the executors of their will. I might be wrong but even if we got divorced I think they would want him to receive an inheritance from them.

dragossoul84

DH had way more money and assets so I offered him one. He didnt want one so we never got it. I didnt mind so much but I think that is because I brought it up had he I may have felt a little hurt which sounds stupid but w/e.

victoria+james

DH and I didn't have much when we got married, so I likely would have been offended if he had asked for one at that point. If either of us had something substantial then things probably would have been different.

bornmommy

greengirl0909:

I feel like making the choice to have one lends itself to the idea you aren't sure about the marriage.

I respectively disagree with this.  Hopefully when you marry someone, you believe in your vows and think you will be with that person until death parts you but life circumstances can change people and personalities.  You have no idea what the future holds.  Best to protect yourself in case it all goes down the pooper.

DH had substantially more assets than I when we got married, while I carried much more debt.  If he would have asked for one, I would have thought he was being smart.  We would have discussed it and made a decision.  

athlete010688

Jellybean813:

candrew05:

I don't really have an opinion, it's "to each their own" for me.

Personally, neither DH or I had enough to for a prenup to make a difference anyway lol.

This exactly!

This exactly! I had a couple of people telling me I should (I had like 20K in my savings account). I didn't even think about it.

EJChapman123

We had no real pressing reason to have one - but if we did I would of insisted on one, even if it was for his protection.  Its always easier to work that stuff out before you hate each other.

And I am not cynical, its just a fact that I am only half of the decision making in my marriage.  While I trust my DH whole heartedly, at the end of the day people can surprise you.  Mitigating risk isn't sexy or romantic, but it is wise.  Unneccesary court costs are wasteful and stomach turning.  I like to live in my land of logic and reason, and not be guided simply by love and emotion.

If a prenup "sets your marriage up to fail" I have a feeling the marriage was going to fail anyway.  Just like setting up guardianship for your children in your untimely death isn't setting yourself up to die, it's just smart business.

But hey - to each their own.

JulianneJacks

bornmommy:

greengirl0909:

I feel like making the choice to have one lends itself to the idea you aren't sure about the marriage.

I respectively disagree with this.  Hopefully when you marry someone, you believe in your vows and think you will be with that person until death parts you but life circumstances can change people and personalities.  You have no idea what the future holds.  Best to protect yourself in case it all goes down the pooper.

DH had substantially more assets than I when we got married, while I carried much more debt.  If he would have asked for one, I would have thought he was being smart.  We would have discussed it and made a decision.  

I would like to add to this that if one partner has children from a previous relationship and more assets it is very common for there to be a prenup for the sake of the children.

herecomesthesun

We did not have one but I can see how some couples might find it a good idea or a necessity. 

Before H, I dated a guy for nearly 6 years and his family would have required a prenup. I wasn't really for or against but the way they acted about it really put me off. It wasn't the reason we broke up but I was glad that we did.

rockopera

We do not have one. We got married young, and had nothing.

If we were to meet and get married current state, I would likely ask for one because I make considerably more than he does, and he may have more inheritance coming than we knew about 11 years ago.