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Alone and Confused (When Best Friends go wrong)

twnytylortwnytylor
in Single Parents
I have been sleeping with my bestfriend for the last three years two years ago I was pregnant by him and we both decided to abort it (my mistake) now this time around I can't put myself through that again. I understand this is not something we planned and I wish I can turn back the hands of time however it is happening again and I am prepared to take this journey (with or without) him. The thing is I have never been alone in a pregnancy no one to ask me how I'm feeling or hows the baby to rub my aches and pains away to help feed my crazy cravings but then again I guess I bought this on myself for wanting to keep the baby. I'm scared sh$tless I have never been in the delivery room alone and my family is so far away I'm at the point where I am preparing myself on the fact I may have  drive myself to and from the hospital and cut my own umbilical cord, crazy thing is I live with him and it's weird that I find myself trying to hide my pregnancy from him even though he knows if I am rubbing my belly I immediately stop when he enters the room. I dn't talk about being pregnant at all with him I think he has totally blocked it out of his mind that I am pregnant, I dn't know if he plans to be there when I deliver or if he plans to let the baby have his last name at this point it hurts but I figure I am a big girl and I have to do what I gotta do. It hurts cause I thought we were bestfriends and if nothing else we could be great coparents but I guess reality has sunk in and I'm in this alone or the long haul. Any advice on what to do? I could really use the help....
KarsonMom
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Re: Alone and Confused (When Best Friends go wrong)

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    mel1987mel1987 member
    Have you asked him how involved he wants to be? Do you have friends and family near by? You can do this by yourself, but having a good support system really helps on the sad days. Gl!
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    inthelostinthelost member
    You need to have a serious talk with him and find out how involved he wants to be and go from there. I won't lie, going through pregnancy alone really really sucks (going through it now) but you CAN do it. We're here to listen to you talk, rant, for support, etc. You're not alone! but seriously sit down with him and have a discussion.
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


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    Runaway22Runaway22 member

    Ditto PPs. You need to keep the communication line open. It'll be hard, but try to keep too much emotion out of it when it comes to discussing future plans regarding raising the child. He may go back and forth at first, but make sure he knows he must decide what he wants to do once the baby is born. 

    It does suck having to go through with pregnancy alone, but it's not the end if the world. You'll get through it, and as much as it doesn't always help to hear, I feel like it made me stronger in some ways. This is coming from someone who drove herself to the hospital to be induced 100% alone  Wink 

    Sorry you're struggling. Those pregnancy hormones definitely make everything harder! Sheesh.

    Pregnancy Ticker
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    twnytylortwnytylor
    I feel the same way about the baby having my last name however no need for a letter we stay under the same roof but thank you for the advice
    KarsonMom
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    twnytylortwnytylor

    I thank you all I dn't know what I would do without this website or my co-workers to talk to I appreciate the support. But I will def sit down and have a discussion with him I think I'm just scared of what I might hear but I'm def putting that on my to do list

    Thank You

    KarsonMom
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    twnytylortwnytylor
    No I haven't just by telling him and the reaction I got when I did I am honestly affraid to ask him or discuss it any farther but I know I will eventually. Unfortunately all of my family lives in another state other than my two daughters I am alone here I know I can do this by myself I know I can it's just a scary feeling and I commend you on doing it alone!!!
    KarsonMom
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    babymama619babymama619 member

    I agree with PPs you need to discuss this with him. This is part of being a big girl, not trying to do it on your own with no input. You need to have all the information you you possible can so you can make the best decisions for you and the baby.

    I would tel him we need to have a serious talk. Then actually have your questions written down.  That helps to keep you on track and if he doesn't know how he feels or what he thinks (TOTALLY VALID since you haven't been discussing things) he can have the list and reflect on those questions. 

    Living in a perpetual state of wonder and confusion is not good for either you or the baby, and probably not for him either.

    good luck 


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