Screaming

rachelstauf

Hi!
I'm usually over in the September 2013 board, but I thought I'd sneak over here and ask a question!
I'm a nanny for 3 kids and I am having issues with the middle boy right now. Some background. He is 3.5 years old and I've been his full time nanny for 2 years. Recently I was away for 13 weeks and I came back to a completely different kid.
He screams all the time now, at the slightest thing. Today he had a full blown meltdown because socks are white. The screaming he is doing seriously sounds like he is being slowly murdered... It's really alarming.
I've tried talking to him, giving him a name for his feelings, distracting, redirection, time outs, naps, taking away a toy/activity, and just ignoring him until it stops.
Nothing is helping. He ignores me, screams when he doesn't immediately get his way, and is in general a PITA right now. I know to expect tantrums... He is a toddler. But this is WAY above anything I've ever seen before.
Help?

tracy41

Ah, toddlers. My DS hit that phase in Dec. I would ask the parents how they are handling it, assuming they are handling it, just so he's getting consistent feedback. And I'm a believer in ignoring negative attention seeking so personally I recognize and praise positive behaviors and ignore when he goes into meltdown. I also call him on the behavior "do we scream like a banshee when our train cars separate or do we fix them?" and then ignore. Unless the meltdown involves throwing in which case the toy gets taken away. When I got him some duplo trains he had a hard time keeping them on the tracks and it was a meltdown with throwing every time. I think I had to pack the set up five times and leave it in the closer for a day before he learned to just keep trying or ask for help. And I praised the heck out of him when he started putting the trains back on the track by himself with no outburst.

I always liked the sound of providing words to describe his feelings but DS now uses the words as an excuse for why he's crying. "It's so hard to be frustrated, momma!" After much, much work he doesn't do it as often now. "As often" being the key phrase. That's my 2 cents.

rjeller32

Sounds like every toddler I have ever dealt with in daycare, and my own toddler. They go through phases, and I am betting that 13 weeks being gone, he had gotten used to not being with you, so he is adjusting to having you back, paired with just typical toddler terrorism...

I always tickle my kid while she throws fits. Total redirection. It goes from screaming at me because I put the WRONG leg in her pants first, to yelling at me to stop tickling, to giggling like nothing ever happened. 

I will be glad to have this stage over, and on to a different stage of evil.

AWLM

My LO is currently doing this as well. Like you mentioned my son also screams over changing his socks. I think it will pass and we are working on him using his inside voice. I hope this passes for the LO you nanny as well.

aiche Umm Ayoub

hmm that sounds like a typical toddler to me they seem to go through phases and stages some good others are nerve wracking

PayolaCrayola

Agree w/ PP's...totally normal. My DD is a super loud screaming bloody murder screamer too. Its insane how loud she is. Shes always been that way. As much as we try to redirect/give words she just would rather scream. Its especially embarassing in public when EVERYONE feels the need to comment on her lungs. I just say that we are hoping for an Opera singer one day lol

rachelstauf

Thanks everyone! It's nice to know this is normal! I appreciate the feedback and advice!