Do I HAVE To Get a Lawyer

MommyKristin88

I applied for child support for my 4 year. My ex called me this morning, because he got the letter yesterday, and doesn't think I should have filed. Anyway, do I need to have a lawyer when we work out custody/child support (I included both on the application)? I do not have money for a lawyer, but I will try my hardest to get one if I need to. I just wanted to know if I can do this on my own?

PrettyInPearls23

Sure, it can be done, but it's not recommended. Especially in custody/visitation situations.

What exactly did you file custody wise when you submitted the CS application?

MommyKristin88

PrettyInPearls23:

Sure, it can be done, but it's not recommended. Especially in custody/visitation situations.

What exactly did you file custody wise when you submitted the CS application?

Basically, the application was for child support. There was one question about if I wanted to set up custody arrangements at the same time. I checked the box that said "yes".

PrettyInPearls23

MommyKristin88:

PrettyInPearls23:

Sure, it can be done, but it's not recommended. Especially in custody/visitation situations.

What exactly did you file custody wise when you submitted the CS application?

Basically, the application was for child support. There was one question about if I wanted to set up custody arrangements at the same time. I checked the box that said "yes".

Gotcha. Has paternity been established? Does he see his child at all? Do you have any current arrangements? I need more backstory before I can offer advice. I apologize if you've posted all this before -- I'm a SP'er from a few years back and wanted to come back and offer advice.

MommyKristin88

PrettyInPearls23:

Gotcha. Has paternity been established? Does he see his child at all? Do you have any current arrangements? I need more backstory before I can offer advice. I apologize if you've posted all this before -- I'm a SP'er from a few years back and wanted to come back and offer advice.

I appreciate your help, so I don't mind answering.

The letter he received yesterday requires that he replies within 2 weeks to say if he wants a paternity test or not. At this point, nothing is established, and his name is not on the birth certificate.

He sees her twice a month. We do not have a formal arrangement. Basically, he or his mom calls me and asks if they can get her that weekend. So, sometimes it's 2 weekends in a row, sometimes a few weekends pass in between, etc. There's nothing specific about the visitation right now.

tracy41

Personally I think the keyword there is that he doesn't think you should have filed. That spells adversarial to me and I would want to a lawyer to make sure everything was correctly handled. In my case BD has been completely non responsive so I've done everything myself. PITA btw.

MommyKristin88

tracy41:

Personally I think the keyword there is that he doesn't think you should have filed. That spells adversarial to me and I would want to a lawyer to make sure everything was correctly handled. In my case BD has been completely non responsive so I've done everything myself. PITA btw.

Thanks for replying. I'll start pricing lawyers...

tracy41

Maybe you could save money by seeing if you could find one that will point you in the right direction as to documents to file and doing document review but just be on stand by in case your ex starts putting up unnecessary road blocks. Filing the paperwork and getting it served is no fun but worth doing yourself if it saves money. I tried pricing lawyers in my area and after the third time I was told 5000 dollar retainer I decided to use the court's self help center. Let's just say I appreciate the thought of free legal advice but it was worth what it cost and has caused me no end of headache.

MommyKristin88

tracy41:

Maybe you could save money by seeing if you could find one that will point you in the right direction as to documents to file and doing document review but just be on stand by in case your ex starts putting up unnecessary road blocks. Filing the paperwork and getting it served is no fun but worth doing yourself if it saves money. I tried pricing lawyers in my area and after the third time I was told 5000 dollar retainer I decided to use the court's self help center. Let's just say I appreciate the thought of free legal advice but it was worth what it cost and has caused me no end of headache.

Since I originally posted I did a google search for documents I would need. I found a parenting plan for my state. I am going to fill that out, and take it with me when I go to consultations with lawyers. I will look into a self-help center at our local court. I didn't know those existed!

PrettyInPearls23

Unfortunately, filing for CS generally opens a can of worms with most men. He will likely blow all kinds of smoke up your ("I want 50/50 custody!", etc.) as a scare tatic to get you to lower/reduce CS. This is where having an atty can come in handy -- they can be level headed in a situation that is full of emotions for you.

Another reason to have a laywer is to know your rights and what is best practice for your situation. If you haven't already, document all your interactions with him so you have a track record when you go to court.

If anything, go to a free consulation with a lawyer to get informed on what you should expect during this process. I do agree with you that you need a CO that outlines your parenting time and visitation schedules.

clairedavid12

My friend did her's on her own. The state with meet with both of you when you go to court and set the child support. If you go to the courthouse they can answer any questions you have there...

MommyKristin88

PrettyInPearls23:

Unfortunately, filing for CS generally opens a can of worms with most men. He will likely blow all kinds of smoke up your ("I want 50/50 custody!", etc.) as a scare tatic to get you to lower/reduce CS. This is where having an atty can come in handy -- they can be level headed in a situation that is full of emotions for you.

Another reason to have a laywer is to know your rights and what is best practice for your situation. If you haven't already, document all your interactions with him so you have a track record when you go to court.

If anything, go to a free consulation with a lawyer to get informed on what you should expect during this process. I do agree with you that you need a CO that outlines your parenting time and visitation schedules.

I definitely need to have a lawyer then, so I don't start thinking with my emotions. I just applied about 3 months ago, even though my daughter is 4 and we broke up when I was 6 months pregnant with her. He kept saying he needed more time, plus other excuses, so I didn't push the issue.

I left messages with 4 lawyers last night. Hopefully someone calls me back today so I can go to a consultation. I really am nervous about this. I don't know what to expect, and none of my single mom friends have gone through this. I need an understanding of how things work in my state.

MommyKristin88

clairedavid12:

My friend did her's on her own. The state with meet with both of you when you go to court and set the child support. If you go to the courthouse they can answer any questions you have there...

Thanks for replying! I am going to meet with a lawyer 1st, just for extra assurance.

kennazebrowsky

PrettyInPearls23:

Unfortunately, filing for CS generally opens a can of worms with most men. He will likely blow all kinds of smoke up your ("I want 50/50 custody!", etc.) as a scare tatic to get you to lower/reduce CS. This is where having an atty can come in handy -- they can be level headed in a situation that is full of emotions for you.

Another reason to have a laywer is to know your rights and what is best practice for your situation. If you haven't already, document all your interactions with him so you have a track record when you go to court.

If anything, go to a free consulation with a lawyer to get informed on what you should expect during this process. I do agree with you that you need a CO that outlines your parenting time and visitation schedules.

 

All of this. In all honesty a lawyer is always best in legal situations. They will work to get you the best deal. It is possible to do it on your own, but the process can be confusing as well as a lot longer than what a lawyer can do. 

It really is not as much money as most think either. A lot of lawyers will let you do a payment plan as well. In the end I think it is definitely worth it to have legal representation.

jmccall79

You might look into lawyers who would be willing to take your case on pro bono.  If you can prove financial hardship, someone might be willing to help.  Or your state might offer legal assistance in a "hardship" situation.