ideal length of maternity leave

huntjul

Hi experienced ones,

I'm expecting first LO in the fall and trying to figure out maternity leave plans.  When were you ready to go back to FT work after your LO came?

I have the option to take up to a full 12 weeks off post-baby (that clock doesn't start ticking til after baby's born, not just when I leave work), but only about 8 of it are paid, at 2/3 of regular pay.  DH doesn't work at all, so he will be home with me the entire time and will be a SAHD once I return to work.  I'm trying to decide between 8-12 week range on me returning to work.  The extra month will cost us significantly because DH isn't working.  Though we can swing that financially and not be in any danger, it will hurt our savings significantly (take the nest egg we have planned for a down payment for a house, which we probably won't purchase for another 1-2 years).

Do I need a full 12 weeks?  I'm also afraid I'll get bored at home and need the intellectual stimulation of working (or want to kill DH for spending so much time with him).  Thoughts?

MsCrispy

I took 12 weeks last time and I felt like it was a pretty good amount of time. I would not have been ready to go back at 8 weeks. DD was still getting up between 2-3 times a night, so I was still not fully functioning.

 If you can afford it, I would take the full 12.

My ideal length would have been around 6 months, or to ease back into it by working part-time. But in reality, I plan to take 12 weeks again.

AZ123

Take the full 12 weeks. This is a once in a lifetime experience and you may not want to go back. Besides, it is way easier to ask your company to return early if you're bored at 8 weeks than it is to ask for a longer leave if you're out and decide you don't want to return until 12 weeks.

Trust me, once that baby comes you won't think about work at all and you'll be happy you're at home. I took 5.5 months leave with both my kids and maybe I started getting slightly bored around 3.5 months.

meganandchase

I had pretty much the same as you.  I got 8 weeks paid, and took 4 additional weeks unpaid.  When I went back, I worked PT for three months and then back to FT.  In my opinion, you will not be bored staying at home.  You will truly enjoy getting to watch your baby grow.  Take as much time as you can.  (Unless LO has colic, in which case you should try to go back to work ASAP because it is pure hell.)

heyitsme

I took 4 weeks before birth (thank you, state of CA!) and then 16 post-birth. For me, I needed ALL 16 weeks. We had nursing issues that I insisted on working through, and we didn't get them totally straightened out until he was 12 weeks old. If I had gone back to work then, it wouldn't have worked for me/us.

Virgo17

I think if you have a relatively easy labor, delivery, and recovery, going back at 8 weeks is doable.  Since DH will be home, he should be able to help out quite a bit, and it will also alleviate that daycare transition.

If you can afford it and really want the 12 weeks off then go for it, but I think 8 weeks is a good amount of time off.  With my first, I went back at 10 weeks and was fine.  Could you do that instead of an entire month at a reduced rate of pay?

SummerOH

If I were in your situation, I'd be ok with just 8 weeks.  I took the full 12 because DH works, too.  If he were a SAHD, I'd have only taken 8.  I was climbing the walls toward the end.  If I were you, I'd play it by ear.  Can you tell them you plan on taking the full 12 and then go back early if you decide you only need 8?

Courtimilk

As long as DH is the one taking care of LO (especially during the nights) then taking the 8 weeks could be enough. You're only 1-2 years away from a house, so consider sacrificing a little bit of time now to have the prize later.

EastCoastBride

AZ123:

Take the full 12 weeks. This is a once in a lifetime experience and you may not want to go back. Besides, it is way easier to ask your company to return early if you're bored at 8 weeks than it is to ask for a longer leave if you're out and decide you don't want to return until 12 weeks.

I agree with this.  

I'll say this - at 6 weeks I thought "If I HAD to go to work, I could".  At 8 weeks, I felt "O.k.- this is more doable. I could handle going back".

But in the end, I was VERY happy I had the full 12 weeks.  Having a full month where *I* felt normal and in control helped me really focus on and enjoy my son.

oooCarrieB

I took 9 weeks for my last leave and it was fine. My DH is also home with LO during the day, so it wasn't as hard of a transition. For this leave I will be taking 10 weeks, but working 2 hours a day once my STDI is done. We could not afford for me to take any unpaid time.

lilsquirt75

Same situation here, I work and my SO is the SAHD.  I took six weeks, but would have loved more time.  I think eight weeks would have been great.  I chose six weeks cause we couldn't afford me to be off longer and I wanted to save some vacation time for later if and when daddy needed a break and when family came  to visit.  It turned out to be perfect for us.  In my opinion, I would not dip too much into your savings especially since your husband is staying home with LO.

thedash

I took 9 weeks and when I went back DH started a paternity leave. I personally needed more time and had a very hard time going back. This time I am self employed and DH has about 2 weeks of leave but we have an amazing nanny. I plan to take 6 weeks completely off the grid, 2 or 3 weeks of checking in, answering emails, maybe a few calls from home, and then go back PT for another 2 months until after the holidays and return to FT in January. I'm due Sept 5.

jess9802

I had the option of taking up to 12 weeks, but it would have been a serious financial strain as DH graduated the weekend DS was born and it was another 6 weeks before he got a job. So I went back at 8 weeks, which meant my leave was essentially 6 weeks leave at 100% salary and 2 weeks at no pay.

At 6 weeks I was just starting to feel like I could manage going back to work. The thought made me very sad, though. I went back at 8 weeks and though I was emotional the first day, it was totally fine. We quickly settled into a routine and it's pretty much been smooth sailing ever since.

chicagobride_07

My plan is for 14 weeks but  for two of those are pre birth hospitalization.  I do have the option to take more time, if needed. Only 8 weeks max of this time will be paid.

st.augbride

Take as long as you can. you will wish you had even more.

DiveFrog

I think there are a LOT of factors that go into the ideal length of leave. Ease or difficulty of labor and delivery,whether the baby is full term or early,  whether you choose to breastfeed, how much support you have at home (especially at night), and what type of job you are returning to (hours/physicality).

For me personally, I ended up having a failed 48hr induction and labor which ended in a horrific c-section 5 weeks early all due to preeclampsia. Luckily, I had a TON of family support because the first weeks were very rough trying to establish breastfeeding and fighting jaundice with a baby that did exceptionally well for a preemie (no days in NICU) but was still 5 weeks early and very small and basically needed to eat every moment she didn't sleep (which wasn't much).

I had planned for 16 weeks off from very early on in my pregnancy and had hoped that by 8weeks the baby and I would really be in a nice routine. That I would feel like myself again and she would be sleeping a bit more (was thinking 4-6hr stretches) and that I would really get a chance to enjoy her and the last 8 weeks of my leave.

In reality we both NEEDED a full 14weeks before I felt even an inkling that I would survive returning to work. I was Ok returning to work 2 weeks later, but would have much preferred to take 6 months off. All this is with my parents living with us (so we had 4 sets of hands when everyone was home, and 3 sets when DH was at work).

I will say DD is a high needs baby.  She slept very little (and was very difficult to get to sleep), she required constant physical contact, she took a LONG time to nurse (a typical session was 1-1.5hr) and nursed very frequently. She is not the majority of babies, but is not atypical either based on what I have read here on the bump. 

Bottom line, you never know what your baby is going to be like, and what your experience is going to be like. More time is always a better option. You could always return earlier if you wanted to.

skibunny59

AZ123:

Take the full 12 weeks. This is a once in a lifetime experience and you may not want to go back. Besides, it is way easier to ask your company to return early if you're bored at 8 weeks than it is to ask for a longer leave if you're out and decide you don't want to return until 12 weeks.

Trust me, once that baby comes you won't think about work at all and you'll be happy you're at home. I took 5.5 months leave with both my kids and maybe I started getting slightly bored around 3.5 months.

All of this!  Take the 12 weeks.  I went back to work when DD was 6 months old.  I didn't find it boring at all.

iverske9

I had 12 weeks and if I wasn't breast feeding or had DH home like you I would have gone back to work at like 10. I got a little stir crazy for sure, but if I were you I would take the max amount of time and if you choose to go back earlier than do so. Many women never know how they will react or how their child will be ( good sleeper, colicky, etc). 

kristennd

I'll be contrary. I went back after three weeks and it was just fine. And I *was* bored. (And not the only one, but it becomes a terrible shameful thing to admit around here or anywhere.)

DH is a SAHD and frankly wanted me to go back too, so he could start figuring out a system. I had six weeks available so I did three weeks full-time and six weeks half-time. That half-time transition was very nice for everyone. I recommend it regardless of the timeframe.