I could use some reassurance...

cbmp06

Hi ladies, I will (hopefully!) be joining you soon.  I have been on a few promising interviews, two in particular, and now I am just playing the wait and see game.  I know many of you went back to work when you LO's were younger, but for several reasons I waited a year. 

 I thought I was doing okay until my sister bombarded me today with "you are going to be overwhelmed after being home for a year, you're going to miss her, you are going to miss her growing up, and when she learns something new, it's going to be someone else that taught her" 

 

Ugh.  Now I am worried that I am making a huge mistake.  I keep trying to tell myself we could use the extra income, DD needs the socialization of daycare, and it will be nice to get out on my own again, but I can't stop the raging guilt!

Kissty

I agree with PP.  Sister stfu!

I went back to work after 9 wks.  Yes, I still miss LO, but I also know that I am a better Mother for working.  I get out of the house with adult interraction, I enjoy my job, the income is pretty decent.  I was worried about missing out on all of LO's firsts.  I haven't missed a thing.  When LO does something new I always see it as a first (it's the first time I saw it).  I'm sure you've thought about this decision for a while, you didn't just get up one day and say "Hey, today I start working!" and off you go.  You can always count on this board for support.  Ignore your sister, and you'll do fine hon.  Good luck!

kcircell

It is different for sure.  There will be moments when you are overwhelmed and want to crawl into to bed and forget about all your responsibilities (ok mainly housework) and then there are days when you will rock everything!!! When you day will run smoothly, you'll get great praise at work, you'll eat an awesome homemade dinner, and get just the perfect about of you time. 

 You'll get to see your daughter grow up, we still have all the special moments, maybe there not the 1st time, but it is always the first time you go to see. 

Pips09

EllaHella:

Your sister needs to nicely stfu.

And don't feel guilty.  You made the choice that you feel is right.  It's not any different than the choice she made to stay home. 

Also, the first time you see her do X, Y or Z, it will still be amazing, because it will be the first time you see it. Our DCP never told us if she did something first at daycare, so that we always thought it was the first time, even if it wasn't. And it was still awesome.

Netty_3

EllaHella:

Your sister needs to nicely stfu.

And don't feel guilty.  You made the choice that you feel is right.  It's not any different than the choice she made to stay home. 

I concur! When you do what's right for your family...whatever that is, you're doing the right thing.

I am glad LO goes to school every day and learns new things, his teachers are wonderful, and he has friends, and learns how to share, socialize, take turns, etc. Also, mommy enjoys adult interaction that on occasion can even be intellectual.  Sure I miss LO and all that, but we're providing a great home with him full of love, where we can afford to offer him good schools, and other experiences. You'll get to see her learn new things all the same, and it may be hard at first, but once you're in the routine it will get better, and maybe you'll go through slumps, but it will be okay. LO still thinks I'm the best in the world, and the smile on his face when I pick him up and him running towards me is the absolute best. You can do it.

Good luck with the jobs!

AZ123

Hasn't your sister ever heard the saying "It takes a village to raise a child"?  it is so true and each person has a different influence on your child's development.

If you returning to work was so harmful to your daughter and will make you so miserable, then why do fathers go to work every day? It doesn't mean they're not raising their children or teaching them new things because they work every day.

itsmevkb

I will admit that I found it easier to keep on top of things like laundry, making dinner every night, errands, etc. when I was working part-time from home.  However, I love my job and have never felt that I am missing my children growing up. 

Does your sister intend on homeschooling through college?  Because unless she is her kids too will learn things from other people.  Oh the horror!

The things your kids really need to learn to become good human beings will still be taught by you.

salt78

Wow she kind of sounds like a jerk. Please don't let her make you feel guilty. Do what is best for you and your family. Staying at home is not the best choice for everyone.

 I've been working since DD was 8 weeks old. I miss her a lot some days, but we have a lot of quality time together in the evenings and on weekends and while I work she gets to play with her friends. (Daycare has been GREAT for socialization!)

Good luck with your interviews! 

cbmp06

Thanks so much, everyone! Your advice helped a lot.  I knew l loved this board.

laurakaz13

I'm with everyone else and agree that your sister is a jerk. I'm sorry she made you feel that way. It's simply not true either. Sure, I miss DD. But I haven't missed one minute of her growing up. Working makes me a better mother, wife and a happier, healthier person. I love it! DD also loves her daycare center and adores her teachers and the other kids. DD has daycare providers, sitters and friends of my family, not to mention her grandparents, whom she loves dearly. I do believe it takes a village and it's ridiculous to say that having lots of people in your child's life who love is a bad thing. Good luck! Tell her to MYOB by nicely stating, "I'm glad that works for your family. This is what works for mine. This discussion is over."